Dear All,
Why did the Baby write a 'B' on his Knees? Because he wanted to be a 'Beanie Baby'.
How do you 'Get Down', from a Elephant? You Don't- you get 'Down' from a Duck!
Two 'bags of crisps' are going along??? Someone says ''Do you want a 'Lift'?'' "No thanks" they reply "We're Walkers!"
Two Fleas going along One, turns to other, and says "Shall we 'Walk', or 'Take the Dog'?"
A young boy is given a Fish, for his sixth birthday. A few weeks later, someone asks him "Have you taught it any 'tricks'?" "Oh Yes" replies the child excitedly "I've taught it to 'Swim'!"
A man walks into a Pet Shop, and asks the assistant "Do you have any Dogs going 'Cheap'?" The assistant looks a little 'Confused', for a moment, before replying "No Sir, they all 'Go' Woof!"
An 'elderly' Lady call the Vet, 'Because Her Cat Isn't Well'. The Vet dutifully arrives and examines the animal, before declaring "Your Cat is 'Healthy', however she is Pregnant- by a few weeks actually". "Impossible! says the Lady... She NEVER goes 'out'....How could she Possibly be Pregnant?" As if, to answer the question, a large Ginger Tom crawls out, from behind the sofa. "Well erm... How about HIM?" askes the Vet. "Don't be 'Silly'" says the Lady "that's her Brother!"
What gets 'Bigger', the more you 'Take Away'? It's a Hole, of course!
What gets 'Wetter' the more it 'Dries'? It's a (Tea)Towel.
How do you 'Catch' a Polar Bear? Actually it's 'Easy'..... Apparently Polar Bears really like Peas. So you make a, Really Big Hole, in the ice and 'Surround it With Peas'. When the bear 'Comes Up For A Pea'..... You kick him in 'The Ice Hole'!
Lastly and talking of Polar Bears..... A young Polar Bear goes into his Father "Dad, Dad, am I really a Polar Bear" he asks. His Dad reassures, his son, that "Yes you Are a Polar Bear". Unconvinced, the young bear, askes his Mother, then his Siblings- who ALL give the same assurance- before returning to his Father. "Are you 'Absolutely Sure' that I'm a Polar Bear" the youngster again asks. "Yes Son, you ARE...Why do you Keep 'asking'?" "Well if I AM a Polar Bear.... why am I SO COLD!"
Just a 'Bit Of Fun'.... on a Rainy Saturday.
AndrewT
