Dear People,
People, yes you can have 'A People'- if describing a Nation, Religion or Race. A Person is an Individual, although you can get 'Personal' about a Person. I'm NOT sure but, I don't think that, you can get 'Peopleable' about People though???
Until only a 'Few Years Ago', if someone was walking down the Street 'Talking Away To Themselves- at the Top Of Their Voices', they would have been considered 'Mad'.... now Everyone, would Assume that (s)he is 'on the Phone'- with a Bad Line.
A man, or Woman- it doesn't matter, is running down the road, as fast as his/ her legs can carry them. "Are you 'Training For a Race"'? asked a passer-by " No... I'm 'Racing For A Train!'".
In Russia, every year, they have a Competition where 'Cows Eat Clover'. A farmer, called Klonskie decides that he wants to Win, one year. As such he doesn't feed 'Daisy-ski' for few days. By the time poor Daisy-ski, reaches the the Competition, she is Ravenous. Once allowed to start eating Daisy-sky, positively devours, Eighteen Tons- one the first day- and Twelve tons the next. Clearly this is 'Well enough', to win outright.
As they make their way Home....Daisy-ski now Completely Full, and carrying all the 'Winning' Rosettes and Ribbons, someone asks "Who are they?". "Don't you recognise them..... That's Chia Klonskie, and his Eighteen/ Twelve Clovature"!
Mandy, Dave's Wife, wakes up in Agony- one night. "Quick Dave" she screams "call the Doctor, I think it's my appendix!" So David dutifully gets On The 'Blower'. "Relax David... I took your Wife's Appendix out Six Years ago and, in ALL my time as a Doctor, I never heard of anyone having Another one". "Have you heard of Anyone... Having another Wife?" replied Dave.
Two Male centipedes are walking along, when a Female goes the other way. One, of the males, says to the other "There goes a 'nice' pair of legs....pair of legs....pair of legs.....".
Two snakes, are going through the grass, when one turns to the other and askes "Are we 'Poisonous?'" "I really don't know" replies his mate "why do you ask?" "because" begins the second "I have just 'Bitten My Lip'!"
The Teacher has a 'Real Smart Kid', in her class... knows his 'tables', up to six, can spell 'unnecessary' without a Dictionary- all by seven, and a half, years old. She will 'Fix' him..... "Simon" "Yes Miss" replies the boy. "You have Thirteen Potatoes, all different sizes, four small, four large and five damaged. You have to give Nineteen Children, the same amount of potato, how would you 'Do' so"? ('Get out Of That Smart A**e' thought the Teacher). Without any hesitation, Simon simply replied, "I'd Mash them Miss".
A Lady goes to the Police Station, to report her Husband 'Missing'. The Coppers ask, all the usual questions... Age, Height, Hair Colour, what he was wearing and so forth. Finally, the Sargent asks "Any Message, we can give him if/when, we Find him?" "Yes" replies the wife "tell him 'Mother Didn't Come, After All'".
A 'None Too Bright' Cowboy is Concerned that, every night, a Strange White Object 'Rises Up' from under his bed sheets. After a few days, of observing this, he takes his Gun to bed. When the 'Object' appears, he Takes Aim and Shoots....his Own Foot off!
Finally a Riddle.... What 'Stays In The Corner, But Goes All Around The World'? Answers on a Postcard.... or in your Comments!
Take Care All
AndrewT
