No jokes, this came up on my facebook... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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No jokes, this came up on my facebook page and struck a cord. X

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits
60 Replies

I had spent an hour in the bank with my dad, as he had to transfer some money. I couldn't resist myself & asked...

''Dad, why don't we activate your internet banking?''

''Why would I do that?'' He asked...

''Well, then you wont have to spend an hour here for things like transfer.

You can even do your shopping online. Everything will be so easy!''

I was so excited about initiating him into the world of Net banking.

He asked ''If I do that, I wont have to step out of the house?

''Yes, yes''! I said. I told him how even grocery can be delivered at door now and how amazon delivers everything!

His answer left me tongue-tied.

He said ''Since I entered this bank today, I have met four of my friends, I have chatted a while with the staff who know me very well by now.

You know I am alone...this is the company that I need. I like to get ready and come to the bank. I have enough time, it is the physical touch that I crave.

Two years back I got sick, The store owner from whom I buy fruits, came to see me and sat by my bedside and cried.

When your Mom fell down few days back while on her morning walk. Our local grocer saw her and immediately got his car to rush her home as he knows where I live.

Would I have that 'human' touch if everything became online?

Why would I want everything delivered to me and force me to interact with just my computer?

I like to know the person that I'm dealing with and not just the 'seller'. It creates bonds of Relationships.

Does Amazon deliver all this as well?'''

Technology isn't life..

Spend time with people .. Not with devices.

Writer: Unknown

60 Replies

It’s true Bazzak. I love that my staff in my local shops greet me when I go in and that my pharmacist knows me by name and waves when he’s on his way home after work. Sure it would be easier to to have my prescriptions dropped off at my door but no thanks. I’m doing fine as I am! 😊

Activity2004 profile image
Activity2004

This is good! My Grandma loves going to the store/bank. Wish she would let my Aunt help get her items.😀👍🌈

RoadRunner44 profile image
RoadRunner44

There will be many people on the forum who will relate to this Bazzak. Technology is fantastic and has stealthily wheedled its way into our daily lives. But as the message illustrates, it cant replace the human touch for so many things. I shall keep the post as a reminder and also show it to friends and family.

Thanks

SORRELHIPPO profile image
SORRELHIPPOReading Rabbits

It is all so true, have lived in this flat since 1984. When I was first ill, the local butcher, who knew me well, would let me sit on the "old ladies chair" and talk cricket while he did up 2 chops 3 eggs and 4 rashers of bacon. The chemist knew me, when I went in once for a prescription for HRT, he looked over his half specs, grinned and asked if, since he had seen me last week, had I had a hysterectomy, I said I did not think so, the GP had done the wrong drug, easily sorted. My local bank, was able to cash cheques for me, and give cash to my carer, because I had chatted to them over the years and all the counter staff knew my voice, so when they 'phoned to ask the name of the carer in the bank, they knew it was me.

When my husband died, the Budgens staff offered to bring my shopping up, gave me their 'phone number so I could order if stuck, The local Bakers said if I got stuck, all I had to do was 'phone and they would leave bread and chocolate brownies outside my front door. They knew I would get my carer to pay when she came on the Tuesday. When I was first trying to get out with the Crohn's, the local dry cleaners asked what was up, I told them, one of the ladies said my niece has that do you have a "can't wait card", I did, and they said, even though their toilet was just for them, if I needed it, just to say and I could go through the back. This made going out feel so much safer. This human contact is invaluable.

Ghounds profile image
GhoundsReading Rabbits in reply to SORRELHIPPO

What amazing friends you have in all those people. Just as it should be and so very reassuring if one is living alone.

SORRELHIPPO profile image
SORRELHIPPOReading Rabbits in reply to Ghounds

I have always talked to people, my husband used to get embarrassed, if we were on a bus and I would start a conversation with an older stranger I had sat next to, hubby would go up to the top floor and pretend he did not know me!! I did spend 3 months commuting round London, what an eyeopener, everyone hiding behind their morning newspaper. There was a young man with learning disabilities, so used to chat to him, all the newspapers used to rustle and get lifted a little higher. It was my job, I spent most of my life walking into strangers houses and having to ask them some quite delicate questions, had to relax them first, so learnt to inconsequentially chatter to anyone. Over half of the people mentioned in the shops bit are from ethnic minorities in this country, I think they treat me as their grandmother is treated.

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to SORRELHIPPO

I talk to people at bus stop, on.buses in queues anywhere really and it makes some people's day

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to SORRELHIPPO

That's wonderful our local butcher as been doing deliveries on his way home for people who can't get out, said I could use his car park if disabled bay out front full once everywhere open again and little cash and carry been delivering to people too. Wouldn't get that in a big city.

Once I'd run out of one of my tablets on a Sat ( I'd put empty box back in with my other meds) went in to see what I could do one of assistants said ring 111 they'll send us a prescription and come back for it later but it could take a few hours for them to do it. Pharmacist came over said I know you always get from us your repeats on comp I'll give you them ring surgery on Mon and ask them to do me a prescription I'll process it but put back into stock so everything adds up.

SORRELHIPPO profile image
SORRELHIPPOReading Rabbits in reply to Craftyperson

The one loss in my high street is that all the local butchers shops have now gone, too many supermarkets available now. As a solo older person this is an issue, have to order more meat then I need, gave in and bought a table top freezer last year, so can split things like sausages and chicken into smaller packs. I did look at replacing my small fridge with a fridge-freezer, then checked the height (I am now 4'11") with a lot of them I could barely see into the top shelf, let alone reach to the back!!

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to SORRELHIPPO

LOL I have to stand on a little step to reach top and back of my fridge freezer. I'm lucky still got butchers and if you went half a pie not that I can eat them he cuts them in half. Cuts lamb chops thick for me and ham

Carlt profile image
Carlt in reply to SORRELHIPPO

I buy all my meat direct from rare breeds farms. I have met the animals I am going to eat and know they have been cared for and treated with respect.

The meat is around the same price or cheaper than supermarkets and so much nicer.

They also deliver and I can order online through Facebook.

I do miss the butcher and the baker (though I've never had much need for a candlestick maker) but I would spend far too long trying to decide what to buy. Now I can do all my dithering at home in front of the laptop.

Edited to add: I've just spotted that this thread is 2 months old...See what I mean about dithering?

leo60 profile image
leo60

Love xxx

So true, I love my iPad and wouldn’t be without it, but today i had my hair trimmed and caught up with all the news after 4 months, picked up my meds at the chemist had a chat there, and popped in the bank for some cash, so that’s three lots of people I chatted to in one afternoon ,id miss that

mattymoo33 profile image
mattymoo33

I love that. It's just how I feel and I'm only 52. Long live our day to day heroes 🥰🌈xxx

Veteran250 profile image
Veteran250 in reply to mattymoo33

I have shopped on Amazon, and eBay, but theres nothing like going into town, if only to sit outside a cafe and watch the world go bye, I love it.

I have been in lockdown now for four months and I’m looking foreward to going into town to the optitions tomorrow, albeit with a face shield! 😀🌈

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to Veteran250

You can't beat people watching and as I live just outside a seaside town I see some sights go by !!

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador

I wonder what it will be like in a hundred years time, as technology becomes more advanced and things that we do now, become more streamlined. Maybe the high street of today will become the documented history of tomorrow. What a horrible thought. 😲😊

in reply to bobbybobb

I dread to think, I've seen so many changes in my lifetime to the way we live and shop , I can't see the high street surviving as it is if at all, I don't think there will be any big superstores as we can see a lot of them like debenhams, boots ,, John Lewis etc are in deep trouble already , I personally don't like these superstore, they're all so big , I think we'll go back to the small local stores like it used to be, look how the corner shops thrived in the lock down, because they gave us what we wanted in a time of need, a more personal service, I think the high street has been struggling for a long time and the lockdown has just added to its troubles, we'll have to wait and see what happens .

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired in reply to

I agree, Globalisation; even if only on a small scale, reduces our choices, eventually.

Cheers, Midori

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply to

Yes, I think you may be right. The little corner local shops seem to have the products all the big supermarkets where out of stock of. Shopping will be very different in a hundred years time. I often think about what the world will be like for the great grandchildren of my grandchildren now. What will it hold for them. Will it be better, will it be worse. I often think what sort of perspectives my great great grandparents had on everyday life, the normal things of the day. I wonder if a future family member years ahead, when I'm long gone, will think about me that way, what my thought where on issues and such. 😊🌼

in reply to bobbybobb

Can you imagine what our Grandparents would think of our lives today 😃.

All the things we take for granted today, cars, phones, Tvs , airplanes for a start let alone the internet, I remember having our first black and white tv for the Queens Coronation in 1953? when I was just 5, it was so small but we thought it was wonderful of course, only two channels I think lol .

Then I remember our first car, only Drs and “posh” people had cars then LOL so it was a big event we had the first one in the whole family and everyone had to come around to inspect it, I can see it now a little grey ford .?

We didn’t have fridges/freezers, but a lovely big larder which is very much back in fashion again now, no washing machines , my Mum had a wringer and I remember her having the first twin tub washer , when I look back now I think women had such a hard time, actually we don’t know we’re born now, but are we any happier, I don’t know

As you say What it will be like for the grandchildren/great grand kids goodness how’s, hopefully the world will slow down a bit to appreciate just how wonderful it is, but looking at things now I won’t hold my breath

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply to

I remember as a child going to the wash houses with my mum because no one had washing machines then, unless you where very rich. I'd love too stay around for all the amazing changes but we are only here for a blink of an eye. 😊🌸🌼

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to bobbybobb

Well, in our house on the 50s the tin bath hung on the scullery door, the mangle was in the garden as was the toilet and Anderson shelter. 😁

I could go on ! Xx

SORRELHIPPO profile image
SORRELHIPPOReading Rabbits in reply to Bazzak

When I first stayed with my grandparents, when you wanted a bath, you went to the local swimming pool, where they had public baths, I think there were 4 of them. Very useful and gave some of the tramps/rovers/knife sharpeners etc, somewhere to get properly clean, if they could get the money together. Also helpful when your hot water system broke down st home.

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to SORRELHIPPO

Hot water system? A load of pots boiling on the gas stove is what we had 😁🙉x

SORRELHIPPO profile image
SORRELHIPPOReading Rabbits in reply to Bazzak

I moved in with a friend in 1973, a semi detached had been split into a top floor flat and hers the ground floor flat. It was an old house and the toilet downstairs had been an outdoor one. The people who split the property, built (if that is the correct word) a lean-to, joining the back wall to the outside loo, and altered the door from the toilet, so opened into the lean-to. In the lean-to was a gas cooker, an old fashioned stoneware sink, plumbed into the sewer system, with a cold tap only and a half bath (plumbed into the sewer system) no water taps. On top of this, was a set of wooden battens holding up a removable table. For a bath, you put saucepans on the gas cooker, for hot water, you put the table top in the back garden and away you went. The main problem was, we had dogs and cats. To ensure the dogs did not eat the cats food, he was fed in the bath, So, you would be sitting in the bath, minding your own business, cat would enter "kitchen", leap into bath for food, paws hit water, claws came out. Yet another set of scratches on stomach. Looked as if we had a weird form of sadomasochism. We were very fit, we both loved swimming, so they saw us at least three times a week, mainly for the hot showers.

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to SORRELHIPPO

I can picture it 😁xx

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to bobbybobb

They do say the small independent shops making s come back

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply to Craftyperson

Yes, the good old corner shop, it will be good. How are you Craftsperson, are you home yet. 😊🌻🌼

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to bobbybobb

No still sitting waiting (im)patiently now. Nurse just came to say she's escalated it to matron as I've not been reviewed for 2 days now and I said Neuro do know I'm still in hospital don't they as originally outpatient appointment requested so she tried to check but got no answer so going to try after lunch.

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply to Craftyperson

Oh, Craftyperson, I hope you get sorted out soon and get back to the comfort of your own home. 🌼😊

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to bobbybobb

So do I want to see Archie and get into my own bed

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply to Craftyperson

He will be missing his mum. Hopefully it will be very soon, have you any idea yet. 😊🌸

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to bobbybobb

Not a clue

AndrewT profile image
AndrewT

Normally myself, and my Mother, 'Go Shopping' together on a Saturday. We then, agsain Join Up, for Church on Sunday- often 'picking Up' Diane on the way. After Church we, went to the local Pub for Sunday Dinner. ALL on 'Hold', due to COVID.

So yes I AM, at the moment, Ordering Far More 'On Line'..... I DO 'miss' the Personal Touch though.

Here's Hoping/ Praying that 'everything' will be 'Back to Normal' soon.

AndrewT

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired in reply to AndrewT

I arrived in a totally new town, 300 miles away and found myself in lockdown quite quickly. I've had no choice but to shop online; With certain types of goods that's OK, but I prefer to select my perishable goods myself. It's been quite an epic, refurnishing from scratch, because I've moved to a bungalow, and its small compared with my house! My son and carer has said that if he sees another piece of Flat pack furniture, he will go on strike!

Cheers, Midori

AndrewT profile image
AndrewT in reply to Midori

Oh yes... The'Joys' of Flat Pack Furniture😬.... Either there's NOT enough 'Bits' or 'Millions' left over....... That or, just as you thought you had Finished 'THIS' bit, should hve been screwed to that...... Endless HOURS of 'fun'.....🥴

AndrewT

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired in reply to AndrewT

We bought a bed which pulls out and juggles into a bed from a corner unit. Very nice, we thought, until it turned out one of the arms was missing! Panicked calls to the store, and they got it to us 2 days later!

Cheers, Midori

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

Hi Bazzak,

Absolutely; which is why I resist going 'online' for everything.

Apart from the human interaction of going outside, there is the opportunity to see and handle goods, to make sure they will fit, either you or in your home, and just to assess quality, things you cannot do online.

I don't like this 'always available ' world, one reason I will not take my mobile phone out with me; I can't think of anything worse than being almost surgically attached to the thing! I need to escape and have peace sometimes, and I can't do that with the phone there at all hours. It also triggers my PTSD.

I like getting out and exploring my environment, which shops are new, which restaurants, and bumping into a friend is always good for a coffee and a chat. Can't do that satisfactorily online, although I must admit to avoiding the very crowded hours as I'm not keen on lots of humanity swirling around.

I admit, there are both good and bad aspects to being online, but I'm very unhappy with the 'tracking' bots, which means as soon as I look at something, I am immediately bombarded on Social media by ads for similar things! Drives me demented. Even though I have had to give in on getting a Smartphone (GRRRR!), I haven't activated any of the Apps, except the Weather!

Anti social? to a certain extent, yes; I like folk when I Want to meet them, not when I'm forced into it. I like meeting new folk while I'm out, I don't give them my number; only friends and a few others have that. Chat to a random stranger in supermarket, yes, why not? because I probably won't meet them again, and that suits me. With PTSD, I like to see new folk, but limit my interaction with them. I'm not a party animal, by any means.

Cheers, Midori

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Midori

You carry on as you are, it sounds perfectly fine to me!.

🙂xx

Sheila_G profile image
Sheila_G

Yes it is very difficult for lonely people. It is getting the balance right so that vulnerable, lonely people can still see people but at the same time remain safe. Sadly it is such a fine line in this very difficult and worrying time. x

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired in reply to Sheila_G

And lockdown has not helped in the way of confidence.

footgo profile image
footgo

Good morning Bazzak

Some wonderful replies to your post today.

After having mobility problems for twenty years the lack of human contact is what I miss and dislike most.

When I had to suddenly give up my business (after fifty four years) because of arthritis, the lack of daily human contact with my wonderful loyal clients was to be, very honestly, unbearable.

I love being on my own sometimes, but we humans are social creatures really.

Shopping online etc is amazing, BUT not at all satisfying for me. As your post mentioned going to the bank, it was never just to deposit cheques, (what are they now) it was greeting people walking through the shopping mall to get to the bank, stopping off for a coffee with someone that you had not seen recently. Life was social!

I look at young people now and seriously do wonder how we humans will be living in a hundred years, probably less years, very isolated lives. Rather similar to now under lockdown, working from home ordering online and having it delivered by drone ten minutes later, including your evening meal.

What a sad picture I have painted, sorry!

Have a wonderful day socialising, while we can.

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to footgo

Footgo, lovely to hear from you, hope you and yours are all well. I agree with all you say and do worry about my and others grandchildren. When we were young we had to go out to find our fun, cricket with a lamppost for the wicket, football with jumpers for goal posts, tin can tommy, I could go on forever. I will stop rambling now, oh and next time I pass the Chelsea Potter I will take a photo for you to remember the good old days.

Xx

footgo profile image
footgo in reply to Bazzak

Thank you Bazzak,

My apologies, l must firstly correct my maths, it was not fifty four years, but thirty four years l had my business. Old age, grey cells slowly giving up their job.

When you reach a certain age, l am not too sure of that age but “l remember when” does seem to start so many of my conversations. My poor wife has to put up with this expression far too often, bless her. She is twenty years younger than myself, she has always made my life complete and stood beside me through thick and thin times, like now with all these joint replacements, we have two wonderful children to cap it all.

Your memories of your childhood Bazzak certainly brought many wonderful memories flooding back, l can (still) remember them all, jumpers for goal posts were always a favourite, going for long walks, fishing in the local river. You could go out all day and have so much fun with your friends, parents did not have the constant stress of today’s parents. Just going to the local park or walking to school on your own, today is in my mind too terrible for parents and their children. Children today lead such different lives to us, many living indoors in confined spaces most often. Watching television, doing their school homework and playing games on their computers, seems so foreign to me. Is this progress, what can you do though?

Here l am saying all the above and what do l have in my hands a mobile phone, where would we be today without them. Many inventions are truly amazing, and do make our lives more interesting in many respects.

After speaking to you the other day Bazzak, I went on a virtual ‘walk about’ around Chelsea on my mobile phone.

I could not have done this when I was a child. My, so much has changed in Kings Road. The old Classic Cinema, lovely old and modern films shown there, next door The Pheasantry Club seems to have changed and many more landmarks gone. Sadly The Chelsea Potter was closed, because of the Covid-19. I used to love the Chelsea Library, spent many happy hours there, browsing, lost with just my own thoughts. The antique shops were always a favourite.

Thank you Bazzak for offering to take a photograph of the old Potter, very kind of you. It was a meeting place for the then rich and famous and the not so rich standing shoulder to shoulder, everyone just got on and enjoyed themselves chatting. Money was tight so half a pint would last me the whole evening. Last of the big time spenders!

Lovely hearing from you, thank you.

leo60 profile image
leo60

The one thing I have missed about not being at work (checkout at Tesco), has been not seeing "my" customers! Our branch is quite small, all our customers are regulars and they all say it's more like a large village shop! I have taken shopping to sick customers, been to their parties, weddings and funerals. Swapped plants, lent and borrowed items and been given things when my granddaughter was born! You cannot beat the human touch, though I must say online shopping also has it's place, especially as I find walking about increasingly difficult xx

garshe profile image
garshe

That is so true. Your Dad is a wise man. xxSheila

Joliv61 profile image
Joliv61

Very wise words in this time of lockdown. Physical contact, sight, a nod, a chat is so important for our mental health.

Take the time to say hello to your neighbours.

springcross profile image
springcross

Just lovely! x

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits

Very true my mum had lived in same house for 40+years and knew all neighbours who all looked out for her and all shop keepers and when she was given less than 12 months to live we all clubbed together to buy her a mobility scooter so she could still get out which was important to her but just before we got her it she wasn't well in chemist and he put up back in 15 mins sign got his car out and run her home.

It's also a good job she knew green grocer well as I'd had her come stay with me for a while and have her some physalis which she'd never heard of and liked so when she was back home went in and asked him if he had syphilis!!!! He just laughed and said I think you mean physalis

springcross profile image
springcross in reply to Craftyperson

Hi Cp, how are you feeling? I see you're still in hospital but what's the latest? xx

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to springcross

Yes still in hospital nurse just been to say medical Dr coming this pm to see all medical patients as I'm now on surgical ward as only place had bed and not been seen for 2 days

springcross profile image
springcross in reply to Craftyperson

Goodness, it never rains does it? Hope all will be well when you see the Doc - let us know. Take care. xx

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to springcross

Cheers I will

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to springcross

Well it looks like they're not coming again

springcross profile image
springcross in reply to Craftyperson

That's a disappointment but not surprising, that happens in normal times but we aren't in normal times now. It must be so upsetting for you. Have you had all your test/scan results? xx

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to springcross

They were supposed to tell me full results of MRI Sat morning but didn't see anyone sat,sun or Mon and Tues system down so couldn't read them asked for written report and said would be back but not seen them since

springcross profile image
springcross in reply to Craftyperson

That's really annoying, poor you. How are you feeling in yourself now? xx

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to springcross

Still having temp fluctuations and feeling yuk again but eye improved thanks

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Craftyperson

Stay positive Crafty, it will all be ok,

🌼🏵😁🙂xx

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