Life can get rough at times, for all of us, so we all need more support during the trying times. This is where this forum has been very helpful to me. Anxiety and loneliness, isolation and sadness, can all contribute to an overwhelming sense of being unable to handle the stresses thrust upon us, seemingly at the most inopportune times. Take a deep breath, relax, and carry on, is my remedy, along with support from others! My Mom was very narcissistic and demanding, and kept me in an uproar many a time. We, too, had renters, and depended on that income, so, when the renters got unruly, and we got fed up, we sold the property, downsized, and have just a wee cottage now, in our retirement!! My Mom, whom I loved dearly, passed away several years ago, so our responsibilities are for just ourselves, my wife and I, at this time! It has not been easy, however, with the COVID-19 Pandemic, where we’ve had to isolate, since March. Good luck to you, and remember, for every deep valley, there is an upward plateau, just around the corner, where things will change for the better. Patience is a virtue!
It is great to be able to come to this forum - but I think it is good to give as well as take. Some people only go on forums on their bad days or when they want to moan about their problems, it is nice to see people who are there on good days too or to support others, not just when they are at a loose end or want something, especially if you can get to know them so that they are not just some faceless sentences on a screen.
I thank you for your kind words of understanding and much appreciated
Hi Roukaya, Empathy is two-way process and it makes the giver feel better to know that you feel better. Kindness is one of our greatest and most profound gifts as we can choose to give it and receive it freely. So it's always a pleasure if I've helped to make you feel a little better. You are great in that you try to take all advice given onboard, and to find ways to become a little stronger and more resilient. With regard to your tenant, although it may make you nervous not to know what's happening with her, this is a commercial arrangement and she's under no obligation at all to have direct contact with you except in pre-arranged maintenance visits, so try to accept that this is the norm.
Of all the things one does in life, renting out a property is the one which causes the most stress and anxiety with maintenance and rent issues and I don't think it's possible for a landlord to live a stress-free life. But try not to worry too much. You have an agent so that he or she can take on most of the burden for you. Take care and I hope you feel more positive again soon.👍
I think the tenant not replying to her phone yesterday does cause panic for me as I once ran a property portfolio
There is an agent in place and the property is managed so I will wait until next week
I hope you are well
I went for the flu jan this morning and walked past the flat I used to live in
I now realise how stressful this time was as I was trying to manage my Father’s business and prevent his other woman taking full advantage of him
At that time I saw no end in sight but with great determination I saved the business and protected my Father and ensured he received the care he need until he died
So from this I learn to keep trying and there is always an answer and a solution
Thanks for your understanding
I also realise my Mother with her worries does not realise at times the impact she has on my studies so I need to be aware of this ad the resit is in 4 weeks
I passed the other very well because of my preparation and mental state on the day
Best to pay an agent to take care of your tenant etc, 12% is often the case, and then let them have the work and worry and forget about it. I used to own and let own dozens of houses, I find it easy to do it, some do not. And that was on top of running a very busy full time business with a lot of staff etc.... One snag with hiring an agent is that they often do things the quickest way rather than the best way for YOU. i.e. the tenant wants a plumber urgently at 3 am so they ring a 24 7 emergency plumber and send him around there. Where someone more sensible and cautious would say it can wait till 9 am when the plumber is much cheaper. They won't care because it is your money not theirs. But I still sold the properties for an easier life. I also make sure that family / friends etc don't lean on me too much or take advantage of me.
you are welcome - the whole idea of getting an agent is to stop worrying - that is what yo pay them for - to take the worry off of you. if the agent isnt doing a good job change to a different one or take over. you need to be black and white and firm about such decisions, not emotional or indecisive, you just get stressed and go around and around in circles then, wasting a great deal of time on nothing! the busier you are the less you will think about it anyway - so get busy.
I am preparing to do a resit in one paper I failed at the end of September
I actually postponed my visit to see my demanding Mother so I could prepare for the exam in mid January
I live on my own and she cause a great deal of disturbance and now that I am 51 I am taking steps to create an independent life and eventually sell the rental flat as I worry about the rental income even though I also took out rent guarantee insurance
How are you
Are you preparing for Christmas
I will be on my own for Christmas and if the tier restrictions are reduced I may go away
Thank you for your advice which is appreciated and makes great sense
you are welcome! I had a very demanding bossy selfish mother - (am not saying yours is ) so guess what, I am too busy to pander to her and give her lots of my time and run around for her! especially as I am a very busy person who is physically disabled and struggle to take care of my own things - I learnt that you must put yourself first, it is not selfish, it is self preservation - and it got ridiculous when my mother expected me to travel across the country at vast expense time wise and money wise - to hoover her carpet for her - so that she could avoid paying a cleaner to come in to do it for her. it would have cost me £1000 to save her £20 - and she has plenty of money ! i often have to pay people to do things for me, I would never expect someone to travel hundreds of miles so that I can avoid paying someone. i am too disabled to do my own hoovering, and I would have lost a great deal of time and money to saving her a tiny bit of money . so think first, dont just jump when someone wants something, use your brain to work out if its a fair ask too.
There are two of us at Christmas, me and my partner. And believe me I would not be with him if he was selfish and demanding.
I think you should understand a great deal the implications of having a Narcissist Mother
I am an only child and dealt with my Fathers property portfolio plus he was involved with one of his tenants younger than me
As my Mum lives overseas and were separated the other woman was taking full advantage of Dad and I had to deal with my Mum demanding her share
A huge pressure put on me to sort everything out and in 2015 my Father was sectioned and placed into care until he died
Shortly after doing everything my Mum met a similar gentleman and she put him first
Two years ago it became obvious he was a charmer and a con man who came to defraud mum
But I stood up to him
But ever a thank you or any recognition of what I have done
I would often go snd visit due to loneliness and fail the exam
During lock down I prepared for both exams and passed one and I will be sitting the next in Jan
This is why I decided against visiting Mum until the resit as I realise I will help her to my own detriment
She impacts on my anxiety and really this means very little to her
I am very lonely but hopefully if I can pass and find a years work experience in a legal practice I can start to meet like minded people and eventually sell the rented flat and buy a home
We almost came close to losing everything as both my elderly parents met gold diggers and they’re only daughter protected their interests
So I thank you for your understanding as it is a case of looking after our own mental state
hi there, strawberry is doing fine thanks very much, due to have next chemo therapy in a few weeks, its once a month maintenance dose now, hoping to keep the cancer at bay for as long as possible... am sorry you had/have selfish family, too, mine were so bad I had to disown them - am avidly watching the classic corrie street, so much better than the modern one
Do you understand what crap she’s gone through . hell i went through the same thing when I was a child I was mad at my mom all the darn time but then I understood she was doing it for my own sake for the sake of my mental health I understood why she didn’t want me to know because it broke my heart yes the truth hurts sometimes but that doesn’t mean you be rude to people . she’s doing it for her own good . You need to understand that not everyone Has a perfect not everyone gets along with there parents it’s a cruel world we are living in don’t you understand. she’s not seeking attention she’s seeking help
I am not doing this just a reminder the worlds a cruel place sometimes Our enemies are our loved ones not everyone is perfect not everyone has a place to live or water to drink or not parents
They don't deserve an ounce of respect or an iota of your kindness. Using that kind of language towards you and Roukaya... Disgusting. Utterly disgusting.
Breathe. Don't let them get to you. They are not worth it. At all.
I have reported the messages, reported the profile and emailed HU Support so they are aware of this user's conduct. I would encourage others who are disturbed by this person's posts to do the same.
She wants attention. Forget what she is accusing you of. SHE is the one who's so lonely and desperate that she's resorting to this nonsense so that someone, anyone, will pay attention to her. So don't pay attention to her.
Because rude people like you don’t deserve respect
The fact that you're now going after Hb just confirms that YOU are the one who's full of it lady 🤡
YOU seem to be the only one wanting attention- Insulting people, cussing, railing against a teenager... Well it's your lucky day, love! You will be getting a lot more attention from HU in a few hours. ENJOY 😘
I do have a life I have dreams I have goals I have gone through life’s tests life is not a easy rode but I pushed through became more empathetic and more kind than ever before
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Would like support