I realise mentally I struggle - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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I realise mentally I struggle

Roukaya profile image
39 Replies

I think I turn to this site as many give me support

It seems that I agreed to have a tenant and an agreement struck to pay me a sum of £350 for the bedroom furniture when she leaves

I realise there are many properties on the market who are reducing their rent every month

To a certain extent I have agree because I thought it would be a source of income as I am not working

I am becoming very tired mentally with all of this and I think I should concentrate my mind in studying and finding a years experience and may be one day decide to sell instead of rent and earn a living through a job

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Roukaya profile image
Roukaya
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39 Replies

What's good is that you've come to a decision you can work with Roukaya. Often it's down to compromise in life and if this will relieve a worry for you, it's been worth all the hard work. Hope you're feeling better that it can all move forward now. 🙏

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Good Afternoon

I am pleased that you have replied

I was told if I do not accept I will be charged £1,440 for pulling out of an offer

But if I were to drop this tenant who has offered to pay £350 towards the bedroom furniture it may take a while to find another willing tenant

Again time will tell if I have made the right decision

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Good Afternoon

I think the worries of my Mother’s plus this rental property have been a distraction for me and may be this is why I have failed my exams and been unsuccessful in finding employment

I can see why ?

But as I am not working this is supposed to be a source of income but I am already realising I need to earn an independent means of an income

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Good Afternoon

Thank you for reply

I hope you are well

I realise I made the decision if I withdraw when would I find a willing tenant

The decision made and I will have to live with it as you say

How are you

How was your husband’s birthday

Troilus profile image
Troilus

Hi Roukaya,

I can see this is starting to cause you stress. If her references are good and you can get the insurance you were talking about then just go ahead. This will mean you need not be concerned with it and you will have an income for 30 months.

Just a thought for the future. You said you might sell it. I think it will be worth hanging onto. By all means find employment, but hold on to the property for when you retire. It will provide a good boost to your pension.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toTroilus

Good Afternoon

I hope you are well

Thank you for reply

Her references came out good and she offered to pay £350 a month towards the bedroom furniture when she leaves

I will try on Friday to see if I can get Rent Guarantee Insurance

Even though I had initially wished to pull out , I would have paid £1440 fee for pulling out and still be left looking for a tenant

This is why I agreed

Thank you for your reply

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired in reply toRoukaya

That agent certainly has you by the short hairs! Might be time to find another Agent.

Cheers, Midori

MaggieSylvie profile image
MaggieSylvie in reply toTroilus

Good advice, especially at this time when property prices are likely to fall.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

I hope you get better

I have noticed that change or stress brings out the worst in me in terms of mental anxiety

It is raining ☔️ heavily where I am with thunderstorms

Troilus profile image
Troilus

At least when that is sorted you can concentrate on your studies and finding a placement.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toTroilus

I hope so

Thank you

I am

Just tired with everything

Agoodenough profile image
Agoodenough

Well hopefully this means you have your tenant sorted and you can now look forward to next months rent coming into your bank account. Sounds like she really wants the property and she may not be demanding it might have just been first impressions and she did offer to help with the £350.00 she is giving you. You could wait for another 2 months for another tenant but that will cost you more than the cost of clearing out the furniture. Good luck Roukaya. Fingers crossed it all flows smoothly 🍀 💚

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toAgoodenough

Good evening

I hope you are well

Thank you for your reply

I think as she has passed her references and has agreed to pay £350 the decision was made to retain the tenant

Even if I walked away , I could be waiting for a while until another tenant is found

I expect her initial demands triggered my experiences in managing my Fathers property portfolio

As he was ill all of the responsibility of dealing with some terrible tenants fell on me

This is why I understand I reacted as I do

I will know on Friday if I will be able to obtain rent guarantee

I must learn to realise not all tenants are like my Fathers however it was the initial demands that panicked me

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador

I think your property gives you some security for the future. Let it continue to provide you with an income. This should not let you pursue your other career aspirations or stop you working hard to achieve them. Maybe thing will run smooth with the new tenant. If the decision has been made, you need to stop worrying about it now and move forward. xx

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply tobobbybobb

Good evening

Thank you for replying to me

I think I was so stressed because I dealt with some awful tenants when dealing with my Fathers property portfolio

But I did deal with the Estate who behaved as a Rottweiler when I tried to pull out

I was even prepared to walk away but if even I did this I would be back to square one

I should learn to have confidence in the decision I have made

But today I told my Mother you treat me like a five year old

Both parents have undermined mine and my lack of confidence is so chronic that my studies and job applications are not given enough of a priority because I believe I cannot achieve

I have learnt the quality of empowerment to start believing in my own ability and the willingness to create a better life for myself with what I can do

I thank you a great deal for being understanding

How is your art work progressing ?

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply toRoukaya

I think you achieve a great deal Roukaya, maybe you just do not see it. Believe in yourself and you will achieve the things you want most with hard work. We are not born with confidence, this has to be learned and practiced. It's something we build up in little steps. Confidence and self believe is no easy feat, we need to keep at it all the time even when we experience the knocks in life. The art work, I am enjoying it. It is completely new to me and brings about totally new feelings when I am doing it. I have to say, It is quite enjoyable. xx

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply tobobbybobb

I think if you enjoy doing something you will naturally progress in it

I appreciate your kind words and I know when I am under pressure this can trigger anxiety and fear

I think I realise that confidence and self belief come from within and certainty of our abilities

I thank you for your kind words

Much appreciated

Bless least you have a income sit back and if the worst happens which I'm sure it won't then worry but if I decide to sell goon you can always invest in another property near to u and sort things yourself, if your axcious people pick up on this kinda thing at interviews use this time to volunteer and get some experience xx

Sheila_G profile image
Sheila_G

Hi Roukaya. I hope everything works out well for you and you feel better soon. x

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

Hi Roukaya,

That may be a solution, selling would give you a lump sum and allow you to continue your studies, and while you seek a placement

Cheers, Midori.

Lily77 profile image
Lily77

Yay! You rented out the flat! There is NO rule which says that because something happened in the past, it must be repeated, and it gives you some space and funding to do what you want you really want to do now.

You are not alone in having days when you feel anxious and fearful and others when you feel more confident and clear....it is absolutely normal, completely and utterly the same for the vast majority of us. Few are 100% certain of every decision taken. All that we can do is the make the best and most informed decision at any one time. I wish the very best in your steps forward, after what has clearly been a very very difficult and challenging few years for you. With my best regards, Lily

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toLily77

Good morning

How are you

How are you managing in the Lock Down and post Lock Down

Your words are very kind and understanding

I have been battling a clear lack of confidence in my decision making ability given my past experiences

I weighed up both options but even if I had backed out I would be back to square one

Life is a continual learning curve and as you rightly say we try to make an informed decision which I expect is what I have done

Not easy when you lack confidence

I also have learnt that I cannot deal with aggressive people but I spoke to the agent this morning and even apologised if I says anything out of turn but even he said I am reacting to previous experiences I have had in the past in managing my Fathers property portfolio and unruly tenants

Sometimes the past can haunt us and can us us a little fearful

I am trying to do what I can

I really value what you have said I hope you are keeping well

How do you spend your days in Lock Down?

Lily77 profile image
Lily77

I am loving doing lots of excellent on line training via Zoom...professional development classes for my psychotherapy plus other skills areas. In lockdown, I have been able to access leading tutors from all over the country and internationally from the safety of my home...as being on the ultra vulnerable list I have been instructed by my doctors and the NHS to fully shelter of course. I also specialise in treating my clients over the telephone and Skype already but have been doing more Skype. Best regards, Lily

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toLily77

Very interesting

Are you hoping to become a Psychotherapist ?

Could I ask what is your interest in seeking to pursue Psychotherapist

You certainly gave me positive advice today ?

Lily77 profile image
Lily77

Dear Roukaya, I am a qualified psychotherapist with a private practice. I specialising in chronic pain and illness (especially lupus). My profile has more detail. As I said I work across the country and overseas via the telephone and Skype, and I have to say that I really appreciate seeing people's faces on Skype having been at home now since early March. Take great care of yourself today, with my best regards, Lily

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toLily77

Thank you for your clear explanation

In terms of giving Psychotherapist , do you assist your clients to feel better about themselves and more empowered?

It must be hugely interesting and rewarding what you do?

Lily77 profile image
Lily77

Yes absolutely, it is a great privilege to have a growing practice. Take care of yourself, best regards, Lily

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toLily77

I wonder how to you help someone see their potential given their lack of faith in themselves

Is this something you do in your Psychotherapy session

Lily77 profile image
Lily77 in reply toRoukaya

Well, I often take a creative approach which I find my clients really get into and find effective, so for example, using pictures and drawings to illustrate feelings, values and goals but the cornerstone of my practice is the most profound ability to listen. However, I come to this website to offer my help and indeed to find comfort and support, which I think you do too, rather than market my business. If you are considering counselling have you thought about contacting Paul Howard or one of the administrators about the counselling services that they provide and which of course are free??? If this does not appeal then, I am of course very happy to have a chat with you about possibly pursuing things further with me via my website. With my very best regards, Lily

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toLily77

Good Afternoon

I hope you are ok

Thank you for answering my post

It is interesting that you offer kind and compassionate and empowering Psychotherapy to enable your clients to progress from past hurts a d trauma

I had a Psychotherapist who was kind enough to talk to me for ten minutes every day during Lock Down but I was pleased to have so one to talk to but she said I talk like a child and may be I am a child who has not grown up

I could never adjust to this so this will explain why I realise Pyschotherapy should come from a place of warmth and compassion to enable the client who can be vulnerable and alone to have the strength and resilience to rebuild their lives from past traumas

I can see you try your best and hopefully when my income levels are stabilised once the new tenant has settled I will be in touch

I hope you keep well and being to others really is what life should be

Lily77 profile image
Lily77 in reply toRoukaya

Good morning Roukaya, thank you for your reply. I think the deepest respect for my clients' own desire to heal is fundamental. I know that you will take care of yourself and my best thoughts are with you whatever you decide to do, with my best regards, Lily

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toLily77

Thank you

I wish you good health

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits

Well its good that youvr got a tenant so one worry of your mind and if going to give you money for furniture when she leaves sounds like will be a good tenant. You can now concentrate on your exams and getting a job. Hopefully you will be.feeling better about things soon

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toCraftyperson

Good Evening

How are you

How is your leg

It looked quite painful on the picture

As for the tenant , I will see how she is once she moves in

You are quite right , I should concentrate on the exams and getting a years experience my life long dream

To make something of myself

I used to have so many hopes but all got wiped away so it is hard to believe in yourself again

I hope your leg gets better

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply toRoukaya

It is hard to believe in yourself if others don't and I know you've had issues with mum but don't loose YOU. I'm sure all will go well.

My leg feeling better thanks

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toCraftyperson

Good evening

Very kind words

Are you feeling better

If you are better gradually you will improve

I think you are understanding enough to say hardly anyone has ever believed in me

So this will explain my chronic lack of confidence which is self evident

It will be a gradual process to persevere with life

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply toRoukaya

Yes won't happen overnight, baby steps

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toCraftyperson

Thank you

I hope you are keeping well

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply toRoukaya

Not too bad thanks leg better

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