I had a hectic and stressful week and the tenant moved into the property but despite the builders renovations and attempts of cleaning , the tenant asked for a Professional clean as stated in the Tenancy Agreement
I am very tired mentally and I did go out today but felt very lonely and isolated
I wonder if anxiety and stress can trigger such alienation
Need to resume with self confidence and resume hopefully my aims
How do people in this site cope with anxiety and fear ?
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Roukaya
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I must agree I also rationalise and weigh up everything
I suppose it is teething problems as the tenant moved in today
I did go out today and saw the sales
But there is social distancing rules enforced and for the mean time it is a question of adjustment
How are you managing in Lockdown
I find this site of great support and understanding
Hi Roukaya
I'm so sorry your are feeling anxious and stressed. I do find exercise helps me a lot.
I suffered with Emetophobia, I still have it a bit but nothing like it used to be. After working through the Thrive Programme and having CBT I'm much better. What the Programme gets you to work through is 10 different positives ie. a time when you were successful at something, a lovely day you had in the past etc. You write these positives down and when you are feeling anxious you focus on them. You are supposed to look through them a view times a day.
I used to enjoy swimming and going out on excursions but due to the virus are of this have been curtailed
I also need to focus on my retakes and finding a years experience and also to understand why I have such chronic low self confidence and self belief
Thank you for your suggestions and I watched a few webinars on mind , body and spirit which have said exactly what you have that we have to look back at past successes to believe we can do it again
I hope you are well and thank you for answering my post
I think the key is to keep yourself organised. I like to garden. Somehow it empties your mind. Decorating is another good one. Anything really that takes up your consciousness and gives you a sense of achievement when you have done it.
Another alternative is reading a good book or watching a good film. They are equally good at at occupying the mind and emptying it of any anxious thoughts.
I think being in lockdown makes things seem worse. We just aren’t getting the normal day to day interactions and any activities where there are other people are a bit stressful. Staying alert can mean staying anxious.
Is there an online course you could do to help you achieve your dream? Even if it just loosely related? Something you could add to your cv or maybe just something practical? Or just something for pleasure?
I should ideally be preparing to study for the resit in Wills and Probate and to find a years work experience
I seem to have lost my way and also I seem to have very little self confidence all issues I need to work on
I expect I am quite lonely but at the save time very wary of people who come into your life to suit their own purpose or enrichment
This has applied to both of my parents
I am fifty years old but after a gap of twenty years I have returned to study and as a result of personal experiences which seem to have on my ability to focus and concentrate on the task at hand
I may need to seek help as to why I have such low self confidence and self belief
Preparing for your resit is a good place to start Roukaya. It will give you a sense of purpose. As you start to achieve things, your confidence and self esteem will start to grow. Bit by bit. Maybe even so slowly you will not be aware of it happening. At some point in the future you will look back and remember how it is for you now and see how things have changed.
It is very difficult being in lockdown. Loneliness and isolation can breed self doubt. Just remember, these times aren’t forever. There will be a time, just around the corner, where life will be normal, where we can stop and chat without being anxious.
Try to focus your attention on your ambitions not your past.
We have big gardens, Roukaya, but they are not very tidy at the moment. They look ok as long as you don’t get too close to the borders! When you buy your house, buy one with small manageable gardens so you can have the joy without too much hard work.
You have got determination Rouyaka. You seem to have your heart set on your wills and probate career. You have just had to put your ambitions to one side to look after your dad. And that is a very worthwhile and honourable thing to do. Give yourself some respect for that. You have been a very good daughter. Take pride in the fact that you went the extra mile to help your dad out when he most needed it.
We are in strange times. You will get back on a more even keel once this disease is eradicated. There will be a vaccine before too long.
Until then, buckle your seat belt. We are in for a bumpy ride!
Once you continue with the gardening and you see the eventual picture you will be pleased with the result
Wise words Roukaya.
My garden is the same as your qualification.
Hard work, disappointment at times, lack of motivation on some days and thwarted by the conditions on others, but continuing to hope that one day I will win.
It is always hard to get up and persevere that clearly you enjoy but to find the ongoing motivation to see your project through
There will be times you will find it difficult to maintain the momentum but I think if you can visualise the bigger picture this will enable you to take the necessary steps to make and transform your garden
It I think like your garden I am a little rough around the edges
But with time patience and kindness your garden will show case to you your hard work
I think I will look at my studies in a different light
I always used to suffer from dry skin and my Father would always say you need a different kind of fertiliser as a synonym for the right face cream
I also think a garden is a means by which you can also show case your own creatively and your own design
Hallmarks of your own unique personality
Hi Roukaya, To be honest, I think that loneliness and a feeling of isolation are a stand-alone problem of the situation we are living through. It's maybe more when we stop being busy and feel the silence, that loneliness creeps in and disturbs us. The quiet allows the anxiety to come back to haunt you. And also that you've had to go through stress of the past week on your own, and now there's no companion to share the troubles of a troublesome week with.
But think about your success in handling it. No need for anxiety, because you got yourself through and came to a satisfactory conclusion.
You can't wish anxiety away, nor loneliness either. You just have to somehow work your way through it. Not all days are good and not all are bad either. If you have a bad day or two, you can be sure that, eventually, you'll begin to feel better again. Just find any little thing that will comfort you for now. Be kind to yourself!
You have had a rocky road this week Roukaya and a somewhat, hectic on, so now the weeks come to an end, your tenant is in place, things will know doubt start to run smoothly now. So now everything is in place, you probably have more time to think. So feelings of isolation you are thinking about it more because your mind has become less occupied as the tenancy has now become final. You need to find distractions to keep your mind occupied so it's not overwhelmed with feelings of isolation and loneliness. Of course you can't obliterate these feeling all together but if you are actively occupied, your less likely to have these feelings on your mind so much. You will probably be asleep now, so I hope you wake up to a fresh new day and a bright outlook. Plan something if you can and get out for an hour or so to recharge your batteries. 🌼🌸
I would like to explain that I seem to have a block with my studies and seeking a years experience which I cannot explain
I would like to retake my exams and find a years work experience however I seem to have very little self belief I can succeed
I also seem to have an irrational anxiety brought on by tenants and the problems they can bring as the other woman of my Father was a tenant who my Father looked after and she would damage the house he put her in
Her constant demands key to his own mental turmoil and did accelerate his dementia and mental decline
I think I am very much in my own but I must learn to believe in myself and my ability to carve out a life for myself
I have been subject to much ridicule and humiliation especially from my Mother when she had her male friend and now he has gone she turns to me instead of him
I think the answer is that it is for us to help ourselves
I am close to my Mother but I can never forget how both of my parents would their own happiness above their own daughter
But they would both turn to their daughter when things go wrong
What I am trying to say is that I must learn to persevere with my lack of faith in myself and realise there is no one who can get me out of my situation but myself
I'm not surprised you are feeling low and drained after the week you have had and with the hassle from tenant and Agent. I'm a relatively calm person, but I would have been tearing my hair out, and climbing the walls! I still get the odd crisis of confidence!
You have done so well, despite the pressure. Now is the time to look forward; you have ensured an income from your flat, now you can look forward with more confidence, and try again for your qualification and a placement.
It has been a stressful week for me and I know as the tenant moved in on Monday there may be teething problems as she asked for a Professional Cleaner as stated in the Tenancy
I have started studying again as the exam in Sept and resit in Jan
I will look for a years work experience in a place commutable to my home
I think I no longer wish to be a tenant a d bound by a tenancy agreement
I have seen that despite my worries the tenant is bound to pay the rent for the whole term of the tenancy but as she cabs with good references I was told it makes sense to accept her as I do not know when I can find another willing tenant
But also I have learnt I do not ever want to be part of any organisation
It is best I find a years experience and pass these exams and set up a little practice to offer affordable legal services for the elderly
As Lock Down coming to a slow end How have you been progressing with the house
You are strong and independent person and part of this is because you have been an only child
This aspect never leaves us and it is also what makes us I am beginning to think
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Feeling lost and lonely