My Mother again : Good Afternoon I was... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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My Mother again

Roukaya profile image

Good Afternoon

I was making progress with the Psychotherapist but I realise I can never make progress with my Mother who shouts and insults me as a child

I realise that whatever I have done for her is taken for granted and in a way I realise out of loneliness I would turn to a so called Mother

I am sad today as my tooth is being extracted with a new denture

I turn to this website for support and I have been coping previously

Low mood can make your more susceptible towards cruel words and bullying

19 Replies

We are always here for you ❤️

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Hb2003

Thank youI think as I have now reached 51 I can no longer support my Mother emotionally

It is take and from her

She is emotionally draining and sadly if I seem to be an immature person it is because she causes

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003 in reply to Roukaya

Your not immature you are human

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Hb2003

Thank youI hope you are keeping well

I have been able to cope but I think as I get older we become aware that there is only so much we can do for a parent

I think it saddens me to say that even though I do my best for Mum it is never enough

I hope you are coping in this current climate

Kind of you to show your support

How are you managing

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003 in reply to Roukaya

Ive been doing good

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003 in reply to Roukaya

Your feelings are valid

in reply to Roukaya

The thing you need to accept is that you aren't personally responsible for someone else's behaviour and how they treat you and when someone treats you badly its their issue not yours!

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Good Afternoon I hope you are well

I thank you for your wise words and I wonder how you are coping

I am learning to realise our happiness lies within us and only we can decide what makes us happy

I wonder how you are getting on with your job applications

I think it is important to realise that the right job at the right time will be yours

I am learning that I may be lonely but may be this better than to be around those who can make you unhappy with their insults and remarks as the new neighbour has already been quite negative to me

I will avoid her at all costs as I tried to befriend someone who clearly thinks I am her inferior because she thinks those who come from India are inferior to herself

I thought ad we are both Muslims we could be friends but even though our religion preaches equality sadly this is clearly lacking among so many

A great lesson learnt

If someone is inherently kind they will never be cruel or insulting

I wonder if you are looking forward for Christmas

I have postponed my journey to visit Mum until I obtain the vaccine

No point to visit a Mother who does not appreciate the level of risk undertaken

I have failed a few exams due to her temper and learning to realise the older angry Mother will never change but I can

I wonder how you are with your parents

There are days I can cope and days I feel sad abs tearful

Hi I empathise with your toothache me too I've been in agony most of the day I have regular pain in winter with the cold air and sensitivity and on eating drinking so I have to be careful I think this is toothache tho as it's not going down, but I was sat here and although in pain decided to put a amusing post on which amused myself and hope it does others, were all different and although I have had very bad times and all at once over a long period of time I always managed to still see the funny side and laugh about most things I am lucky that I don't suffer from depression I think it's a chemical imbalance in some people and cannot be shaken off that easy without medication I'm not a doctor so I'm not saying you have this imbalance but maby you should see a doctor take care xx

Sorry to hear about your front tooth being taken out and you will soon get used to having a denture but its never nice having a tooth taken out no matter what the circumstances are.

The other day I was angry when my mother got in contact and made it all about them and didn't acknowledge what was going on in my life and I thought angrily to myself the world doesn't revolve around you and no the world revolves around no one and does what it wants to but that's like having an office door slammed shut in your face which is never very nice!

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Good evening I think what I have learnt that our feelings and sensitivities do matter

This is the clash I seem to have with my Mother and your feelings and needs being disregarded is not acceptable

I realise that it is for us to take full responsibility of our lives be it emotionally or financially

Today I have been at a low ebb and unable to cope with Mums temper tantrums

May be I realise that it is not our duty to make someone else feel better

It is ultimately the other person who needs to take responsibility of their life

Something I am slowly learning

Thanks for listening

I have a new partial denture and I think today I realise I am getting older and dare I say it sad at being alone at 51

I think I made the decision to be on my own than with those who are incompatible and who have no appreciation for who you are

I think to be acknowledged and respected is very important

Once someone crosses this in my view it is impossible to salvage a friendship


Ghounds profile image
GhoundsReading Rabbits

Good evening, I'm pleased you're making progress with your therapist. You can't change other people or their behaviour, only your own reaction.

I hope the studying is going well and you are still applying for work experience.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Ghounds

Good evening I hope you are well

Thank you for reply

I have learnt a great deal from the Psychotherapist and realised that what ever I do for my Mum it will never be enough

Today I am sad as I had my front tooth extracted and given a small denture

It is incomparable to your health condition but I feel that I am getting older

I have been studying but distracted by my Mothers complaints and I made a decision only to visit once I have the vaccine

Will you be having the vaccine ?

How are you keeping

I have a private course tutor she has given me a few case scenarios which will make it easier to face the cases during the exam

It would seem my course provider is discontinuing in May so I have found another as many have left my own course provider given the high failure rate

They have removed webinars on online learning from 2017 until 2019 and this removal puts all students at a disadvantage

I have a job interview on Monday by Zoom and I will not be applying for any work experience until I have sat for the exam in mid Jan

How are you coping

I find the isolation and low mood taking its toil on me

Are you ok ?

Ghounds profile image
GhoundsReading Rabbits in reply to Roukaya

Getting older certainly beats the alternative!! Age is a doesn't have to affect how you feel about yourself. It's perfectly possible to stay young at heart. Getting as much exercise as you can manage will help both physically and mentally.

Opinions differ as to whether/which vaccination might be suitable for those with my condition. Immunisation doesn't always work for people with compromised immunity either so we are rather dependent on herd immunity. I don't really anticipate an end to shielding for myself, it has been my habit to isolate as much as possible for several years to try to avoid the regular winter infections.

Good luck with the job interview! Let me know how you get on.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Ghounds

Thanks for your kind wordsI hope God continues to protect you and give you great peace

Ghounds profile image
GhoundsReading Rabbits in reply to Roukaya

Thank you, you too. I know your faith is a big part of your life.

I'm pleased your studying is going ok and your meetings with your psychotherapist. Good luck with your job interview, I will be thinking of you. Please let us know how it goes. Take care and stay safe Lynne xxxx ❤️💜

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

You could always tell her that you won't phone her if she continues to shout at you. I've had to do that with my daughter on occasion, she can be a right madam!

Cheers, Midori.

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