Coping with Isolation and Lock Down - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Coping with Isolation and Lock Down

Roukaya profile image
18 Replies

I realise it is essential to follow the imposition concerning Lock Down but it can take its toil on those who live alone and are isolated.

The anxiety goes up and down and Ramadan does make us understand that life can involve sacrifices and to realise the suffering of others

But I also think it is hard at times to be on your own which an elderly Mother overseas who projects her own worries on to me

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Roukaya profile image
Roukaya
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18 Replies
Veteran250 profile image
Veteran250

Hi Roukaya.

My daughter lives alone(except for Cloe, the cat) she has a boyfriend who had a heart attack, he lives in Sheffield, my daughter in Oxford( long story) he is recovering at home and was just getting back to work when the lock down started.

My daughter is at home, doing a university degree, and is bored stiff, with no one to speak too, unless she gets on her phone and rings me or her friends.

The last time I saw my daughter was Christmas!

Whereas we used to chat on the phone every couple of weeks, it is now every couple of days.

Try to persevere with the lock down, and dont let Mum get to you, you can choose your friends but not your family, Mums especially!

Take Care and Stay Safe! 😀👍🌈🌹

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Veteran250

Good morning

I hope you are safe and well

Thank you for being kind enough to answer

I realise as I am the only child my Mother will try to put her worries on me

All I can do is listen and try to structure the day

Thanks for telling me that your daughter is also by herself

Even if Lock Down comes down we still have to be very careful

Life I think will never be the same but making the best of our current situation and in my case to try to take positive steps

Thank you

Stay Safe Stay Well

wiserlady profile image
wiserlady in reply to Veteran250

your daughter is lucky she can ring you or friends, some dont have that.

Veteran250 profile image
Veteran250 in reply to wiserlady

I know I’m lucky in that way, I have been self isolating since mid March!

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador

Morning Roukaya, your mum will always project her worries onto you. During this time of great reflection for you, try and think of ways to deflect this so it does not affect you so much. Try to think of ways to do this whilst still being able to show some compassion towards your mum. It is important you get on with your life and start making the most of it. Now is the time to think deeply of these issues and plan for the future. I think throughout our lives we all make sacrifices for one thing or another, that is true to say. Life has it's ups and downs, the good the bad, the happy. the sad. All human emotions that make us and what we learn from. I hope Ramadan is going well for you. I hope the day will be a good productive day for you. 😊🌷🌸

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Good morning

Thank you for your reply

I hope you are safe and well

I did not realise until both you and Bobbybobb said that my Mother by voicing her worries this makes me feel worse

Ramadan is a time of inward reflection and I take two days off per week during Ramadan

I fast for a few days then a day off as I find the fasting days to be very long in U.K.

I think for those that live by themselves it is too easy to feel the impact of others

Key point

Your Dinner with the crispy potato looked very nice yesterday

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Good morning

I hope you are keeping well

Thank you for being kind enough to answer

As I mentioned you in my reply to Jerry , I did not realise how my Mother impacts on my emotional well being

By coming in this site I have learnt this

As I have also mentioned I fast for a few day’s and then take a day off in order to drink more water and fruit and then resume the fast for the next few days

I have an Employment Advisor that I speak to once a week in order to start job searching strategies

I also will try to study more and hopefully more concentration with studying once Ramadan over

I realise for the past three years I have let my Mothers worries overwhelm me since I lost my Father two years ago

I must learn to balance my anxiety

I will try to go for a walk this afternoon as I will to go out on the days of week I do not fast

I managed to obtain a part payment from the Tenants Deposit so I will instruct a contractor I know to fix the neglected and slightly damaged issues and hopefully once Lock Down eases , in time a tenant can be found

I hope you keep safe and well

How will you spend your day

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador

You have some very good plans in place Roukaya, that is very impressive you have been focusing very hard. It is great news to hear you have part payment from the Tennant's Deposit, you must feel some relief from that. Now you can make plans to repair, this really is good and I am so pleased for you. I hope you get out for that walk today the weather looks glorious today. I'll be going for a walk later. Pottering and cleaning. The back garden needs mowing so I'll probably get some of that done today. Enjoy your walk later. 👍😊🌷

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to bobbybobb

Thank you

Everything in life is dependent on effort , drive and initiative

Fortune favours the bold

I am a bit like the Lion in the Wizard of Oz , I am lacking in confidence and courage

I really like a Lions I am actually a Leo but I don’t roar that much

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply to Roukaya

The Wizard of Oz was always a favorite of mine. I think knowing our weaknesses and identifying with them and trying to work through them, even though sometimes we don't succeed but still, we keep trying, that is courage. 😊🌷🌸

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to bobbybobb

Very interesting perception

The ability to identify our weakness and the willingness to work through them as you rightly say does take courage

Very well said

Hi Roukaya,

Yes, you've had a really tough lockdown and whilst Ramadan is part blessing, it must also be very challenging this year, especially when you are observing it alone. It gives lots of time for thinking, and whilst that can be positive thought, it can also stir up negative thoughts and feelings too.

You've done so well for such a long time. And we are now officially over the hump of peak infections so can start, tentatively looking forward to a time when one or two restrictions may be lifted. And that's moving forward, which is what we all long for. It's going to be another long journey, but each journey starts with a single step. So just try to keep doing what you've been doing so far. To stay with your thoughts in the present, and try not to let your mother upset you too much, even when that's challenging.

I hope you'll have a blessed day today and can remain positive. Take care.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Good morning

I hope you are keeping well

I think you are very right in the sense I can understand the merits of Ramadan whilst observing the restrictions of Lock Down

Life is lonely but the onus is on me to take positive and progressive steps

I have taken a respite from the fasting today and I will resume tomorrow

We have one life and life will never be the same in a post lock world

The lesson is to make and the best of our life’s circumstances

In our Religion we are taught to have patience and there is relief after hardship

Always a balancing act to deal with me Mother but I try to listen

Thank you for listening to me

I wish you a peaceful day

I can fully understand Roukaya how you must feel being on your own. My eldest daughter lives on her own, fortunately she's a key worker, but she's missing her family like crazy. She had a serious mental health condition and is much better (she does relapse at times) now than she was but I do worry about her at times but then realise that there's no point worrying about her all the time, just ring her and speak to her so she knows that we are there for her.

She misses her nieces like crazy, she has such a bond with them and the eldest niece was what saved her years ago, she's only recently told me this and I was shocked.

What I'm saying is that you will get through this and don't let your mum get to you, I have a mother in law doing the same to her son, my husband, but he's not letting her get to him anymore.

What I'm thinking about now is that things will be better once we are out of this as we are becoming more aware on what we are doing to the planet. My youngest daughter mentioned the World Wars a few days ago and how they must have coped and they had 6 years of it, that's the kind of thing I'm thinking about. My own mum was a welder in the war and I think what she must have gone through.

Stay strong and think of yourself and the friends and family that you are close to.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Thank you for your encouraging words

I now have greater awareness of my own Mental State which is just as important as the Physical Well being

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

That is good that you realise your own mental state has a bearing on the overall picture.

I'm sure that the folk around us do not always word things carefully, and it can be hurtful when an assumption is made, without full knowledge.

Try to stay as balanced as you can, with the fasting, and I think you are doing a good thing, balancing the Fast as you are,

Cheers, Midori

lovehealingforme profile image
lovehealingforme

I get this

wiserlady profile image
wiserlady

Hi there. yOu need to take control of how much she can make you feel worse. she can only make you feel worse if you let her. YoU need to learn to monitor how much time you spend with her or listening to her or turn off sometimes.

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