Being able to maintain mental and phy... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Being able to maintain mental and physical well-being

Roukaya profile image
21 Replies

I hope you are all well.

I often write seeking support but I have recently learnt to realise mental health and physical health are interdependent .

It would seem that my anxiety and lack of confidence has been undermined by two strong and dominant parents which has eroded my ability to rise above the set backs and hurdles of life .

I realise ultimately it is for us to take responsibility of our lives and be kind and compassionate to our selves

Our life lessons can often be very painful but they are there to shape and make us better people

Just listening to someone and validating their feelings is so important to making a person feel worth while and of value

Slowly realising my Mother is a Narcissist who puts her one needs and wants above her only daughter ,

This is why in her way I have been overwhelmed by a Mother who expects me to be at her service

I understand sadly that those who are parents are not always the ones who care for us

Also I realise how important it is for no one to judge us or criticise us as we are all very different with our own cross to carry

21 Replies
Veteran250 profile image
Veteran250

Thank you Roukaya for your first positive post about your mother, since yoou have been in this community, all your posts about her has been how she puts everything on you, making you feel guilty because you are here, and she is abroad.

I wish for you is a positive enjoyable day, and weekend. 😀🌹🌈

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Veteran250

Good morning

I hope you are well.

I realise you have your own personal issues to address given the demise of your step son so I thank you for responding to me .

I realise that my ability to cope has been negatively impacted by my Mother and her constant issues and I have always done my best but never enough .

I will be seeking help in terms of Psychotherapy and we should all learn to realise how essential it us look after own mental and physical well being first .

I wish you well and thank you for your reply

Veteran250 profile image
Veteran250 in reply to Roukaya

Roukaya my lovely, I wish you well with your Psychotherapy, but remember, you will always get support from your friends here! 😀

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Veteran250

I sincerely hope your daughter gets better

Hi Roukaya, You show great insight into yourself and your interaction with family members, especially your mother. Understanding how we come to be at the place we are in is really helpful in finding a way out of it. I hope you don't feel generally judged, and certainly not by our members here. We want to be of help to you and sometimes responses can maybe be misconstrued by you.

I think you already have the greatest tool in the armoury of changing how life is for you, which is your understanding of what the difficulties are. So listen to your inner voice and see what you can change about those things you don't like about your life.

Hoping you have a good day today. 🙏

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Good Morning

I hope you are well

I think it is the two Lockdowns which have been a time of introspection and self reflection

I thank you for your kind reply and it is hard to keep on believing in ourselves when a close family can gradually erode our faith in ourselves

I realise what has been holding me back but to be patient with life and continue to try .

I also realised my neighbours are quite nice as my kitchen cabinet full of his hinges and the neighbour screwed it back

Very kind and I gave him three Ferraro Roche’s as a thank you

I hope you and your family are keeping well but this website is a such a help for those alone

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Good morning

I hope you are well

I am always grateful to this site and I realise how helpful it is for those who have no one to turn to

It is actually three exams as I have for the first two are they are interdependent

But learning to be kind to ourselves and realising as I have always said that we have our own life lessons to endure and to cope with often at times painful but there to serve a purpose

I thank you for your reply and I wish you a good day ahead

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador

Morning Roukaya, you have great resilience and understanding of your situation. We have to take responsibility for our own lives because then, we write our own rules and are not affected so much by the influence of others. We take charge of who we are. We are less likely to let people make us feel bad or guilty. Thank you for your message Roukaya, I am recovering well now.👍😊

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to bobbybobb

Good morning

I hope you are well .

I have always had the ability to understand myself and others and I am also a spiritual person

I am slowly realising I will always support Mum but to a limit as I realise she is Narcissistic traits

I also realise I should not be envious of others who outwardly appear to be greatly successful as we alone are responsible for making our own life

I took the decision to care and manage Dads business and took care of him as a Carer

Understanding that this has made my qualifications old is the reason I am trying to study and retrain

I expect I loved running my own business and this something I would like to do eventually

Having an aim and a goal can really dissipate depression

I hope you are managing to recover

My Mothers behaviour as a little child is to the extreme given a series of problems she has recently been subjected to

But as my therapist told me I cannot walk in Mums shoes and she cannot walk in mine

Thank you for your understanding and reply and I wish you a peaceful day

Thank you Roukaya for an excellent positive post. I'm so pleased that you can see that being kind to yourself, seeing that we are in charge of our own destiny, which we are, and kind to others.

There is no need for you to feel guilty and I'm so pleased that you are now looking at you and your future.

My yoga class always begins with 'be kind to yourself', so very true.

Take care and here's to a very bright future.

Alicia 🌈🙏

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Very kind words

I think I will always be grateful for this site and it’s wonderful members

in reply to Roukaya

You are welcome and we all get a lot of support from each other on here which is so lovely.

Look after yourself and stay safe and well.

Alicia

S11m profile image
S11m

Hi, Roukaya

Mother management can be difficult - my mother was a dominant character, but was a victim of my overbearing sisters.

My mother-in-law appreciated the support my late wife gave her - but she always seemed to need her when we were away (eventually my late wife stopped telling her when we were going away).

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to S11m

Good morning

I hope you are well

I think your wife had great understanding of your Mother in laws emotional neediness

All I can do is support Mum far afar but deep down inside I realise she is a Narcissist Mother who always puts herself first

I hope your house sale goes well

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

My late Mother in Law was a horror!

After my husband's suicide, she accused me of murder. She was laughed out of the police station, because they already knew all about him.

Very odd woman.

Cheers, Midori

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Midori

Good Morning

I hope you are well

Narcissistic people only see themselves and are invisible to others

Also sadly if your husband took his life he may have had underlying mental health issues

There is suicide in my Family too so rather than argue with my own Narcissist Mother I will seek help elsewhere

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

Good idea. Now you know why I only trust men at a distance. My husband was a narcissist too, and his ego was fragile, He couldn't stand to be thought of as anything but the best at everything,

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Midori

Good Afternoon

I think your husband was a tortured soul to have taken his life

I think sadly a Narcissist has be the best at everything and powerful and are all meant to be subservient

I can see why President Trump refuses to concede given his personality

I used to envy the new President and VicePresident but Trump will never make the life of those who gets in his way easy

I hope you keep well

waitingame7 profile image
waitingame7

This sounds like quite a moment of enlightenment for you Roukaya.

It also took me many years to realise that my mum showed narcissistic traits (I believe she had NPD) and discovering that was ultimately very freeing. I could stop blaming myself and turn elsewhere for what she couldn't provide in the mothering department. My confidence is improving as I'm starting to live the life I chose for myself instead of being defined by her (weird) values.

Best of luck to you

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to waitingame7

Good morning

I hope you are well.

Thank you for your understanding

I realise for ten years my Mother once a passive wife became an empowered lady and with this the traits of being a Narcissist

I will always be there for Mum but to a certain extent as I am trying to restart by retraining in a Post Graduate Diploma that Mum is slowly ebbing away at my ability to see a life beyond little Mum

I hope you are taking steps to enjoy your new found freedom and to create a fulfilling an rewarding life

I am a spiritual person and I just watched a talk by an Islamic Priest which teaches us to be content with the provisions of what we have given .

He went on to say too much of this world is greedy and competitive ultimately showcased in U.K. with the exit of key powerful people and in the US as Trump will never accept being out

I think learning to make a life that is in sync with our own fulfilment and having the strength and faith to believe we can see light at the end of the tunnel

I hope you find the success you are seeking because what is right for you will be waiting for you

Hi Roukaya, lovely to see you being more positive, just noticed your new avatar, is it you in the pic ?

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