I would like to say this on site group has been a great source of support for me
For those who have anxiety issues and no one else it is a help to know I can explain my concerns without being feeling rejected
Since as an only child now I am fifty I find myself for the last three years trying to obtain a Diploma in Wills and Probate and find a years legal work experience
Since my Father died and before he died I had to care for my Father and now for the last ten years I had to look after my Mothers financial protection as my Father was being taken advantage of by a younger woman
My Mother has taken all that I have done for her for granted saying it is your duty.
He terrible temper became apparent when she was involved with a male friend who at first was her friend and became controlling and cruel to her
If i had said anything wrong she would lash out on me and this has made my anxiety worse
I realise that some us can cope better than others
This virus has shown me how strangers can show more kindness than my own parents
I have always done my best but I now realise that clearly my Mother can make my anxiety worse
I hope you all remain safe and well
Written by
Roukaya
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Please try to get some sleep tonight and take it easy. Don’t let anyone keep you from getting a good night’s sleep. I will be here tomorrow anytime after 8:45 am. Promise!😀👍
I'm sorry to hear that you feel like 'people tend to think I'm unsociable'. That won't happen on here. We have a very friendly and helpful group of group members who will talk to everyone.
Hi Roukaya, So sorry you've been so affected by your family dynamics. Sometimes we can put our family on a pedestal when really they are as fallible as anyone else when it comes to relationships.
Sometimes they demand to be put on a pedestal, and don't altogether deserve to be there.
I think we have to somehow find the middle way. I've got an idea that you might come from a culture that does demand family loyalty, and that's hard when they've been less than always good towards you.
Family life is a very complicated and complex thing for most people. And the world usually presents us, via media, with a completely unreachable ideal of what family life should be.
I think as children we do have to have a basic respect for the people who brought us here, but I don't think we have to idealise them if they let us down badly.
Try to practice kind thought towards them, even when they aren't supporting you as you feel they should.
But you don't unfailingly have to agree that they have always been kind and supportive to you.
Just find that middle way and try not to make yourself suffer when you discover that parents too, have their flaws. Take care of yourself and I hope you have a happy day today.
I am sorry to hear your family have taken you for granted. It is a fact that some parents are good, some bad and some inconsiderate and foolish. It is good you identify that your mum can be a trigger for your anxiety because now you can think of ways to lessen that trigger going off. You need to start putting yourself first for unless you do this it is difficult to have the autonomy to move forward in helping your mum. Have you ever considered writing your feeling down and telling your mum how she makes you feel. It is very unfair for one person to make another person feel this way even though it's your mum. If she knew she was the cause of some of your anxiety she might think about how unfairly she has treated you. You are important and your feeling are important and you need to lessen the damage people are putting upon your feelings. You have every right to have peace of mind and be settled in yourself and find a happiness, you deserve it. ☺☺
You have it in perspective and the current times make all are anxieties grow and it's good you are able to talk about it because its good to get it out of your system and can sometime be beneficial just speaking about your anxieties. I hope you have a productive and pleasant day today and keep safe. ☺☺
Roukaya, I hope you are well. I have re married 15 years ago, when IU met him there was his daughter living with him. She hated me on sight, she even bought his ex. her mother round to get rid of me. They both tried hard. Then I met his other lovely daughter, who has nothing to do with her own mother. She sees her sister, and tries to persuade her to see her dad. I love my step daughter and grandchildren. Since we have been married we have not seen the younger daughter. She now has a baby, we have only seen pictures. Myself I have a son and daughter, neither of whom care to get in touch with me. If I let it get to me, I would have a nervous break down, but you have to make your own life. I hope things get better for you, good luck with what ever you do in the future.
I am beginning to understand the situation better but with the virus spreading everyone is naturally anxious
I have been in contact with a Psychotherapist who has been kind enough to talk to me for ten minutes every day
Now you can see why I chose to live in England as opposed to Mauritius
I try to go for visits then I come back
Stay safe and Well
I
Thank you for, what I call, being brave to post this.
You are a very strong person, you may not believe it but you are. I'm 60, 61 this month, and I've said to both my girls that I do not want them looking after me, it's not their duty.
It's good you've realised the trigger for your anxiety so well done.
I really do feel for you but please do not hesitate to voice your concerns, we are all here to help each other.
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