There are times I can talk and times I am unable to cope with the demanding behaviour of my elderly Mother overseas
I realise many are suffering with the Covid 19 and if there is any one willing to talk or listen
Is there any one willing to talk - Positive Wellbein...
Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation
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Is there any one willing to talk
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Roukaya
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Hi Roukaya,
I don't really know UK phone numbers but I found this you can try.
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Call us for free on 116 123
Whatever you're going through, a Samaritan will face it with you. We're here 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
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Please take care of yourself. It is a lonely, scary, overwhelming time. Hope you can get some rest.
I have already spoken to the Samaritans
In the end it is hard when you are by yourstlf
Yes it must be really hard. Once we're through this join this group here meetup.com. Stay Safe and keep fit
bobbybobbAmbassador
Hi Roukaya, it is hard being on your own with many worries and from your Post's, most of the time you are doing an amazing job of getting through. It will be natural to have some days when things can become completely overwhelming. Day's like this will improve, they will get better and pass. We sometimes can let our thoughts roller ball out of all proportion and it's hard to think logical about any situation. This is the heightened anxiety. I see from your above reply you have used the Samaritans. These people are good to speak with, they have training when emotions become very delicate and it is difficult. We are also here to help and support. It is very important to remember also that your GP is there to help. They treat many with anxiety and depression and it is important to access all these channel's if you feel you need them. I don't know what's happened to trigger the bad day you are having but I do hope you manage to get things back in proportion and start to feel better throughout the day. Please take care and try to do something to get your mind thinking about something else. 🌸🌷🌼
Thank you for your reply
In the end the only person who can help me is me
I do speak to a Psychotherapist plus I should be following the CBT on line
I try so hard but I fail to succeed with the exams and finding employment
It is just so hard with an elderly Mother who I know is on her own and puts her worries on me
I have been rejected brutally by others and I try nit to be a burden if I can help it
Your Psychotherapist needs to work on building your self esteem. When your self esteem is low and you feel rejected by others, it is cutting but when you have self esteem, it doesn't really matter what other's say or do. You are not affected by other peoples actions as much. Do not think yourself as a burden. Negative thoughts bread more negative thoughts. For example if you walked around in pajamas all day you would have no incentive to do much, whereas if you get up get dressed make an effort with your appearance, you are more ready to face the world. Thoughts are powerful. Start thinking to yourself, I am worth something, I believe in myself, I can be strong, I will be strong. Every morning when you wake up, don't say, I'm a burden, erase that word from your brain. Every morning when you wake up say, I am worth something, I believe in myself, I am strong. Even if you don't feel it, you still say it because it becomes ingrained and then you really do start to believe in yourself because you thoughts turn to more positive thoughts. 🌷🌼🌷
These are very kind and uplifting words
I think this afternoon I will try to go for a very short walk
My Mother lives overseas so will not know
I think very true it is to believe in ourselves more and this is precisely why I did not succeed in the job I went for in Jan due to lack of confidence
If today I had a job and a marriage I expect my Mother would not lean so heavily on me
I have told her she rang too much
She was not too pleased
But in the end I will try not to act as a victim and take steps to be responsible for my own well being
Thank you for your very kind advice
How are managing in self isolation
Enjoy your short walk, feel the breeze on your face, clear your thoughts, say to yourself during that walk, I'm OK, feel your body relax and your concerns float away. I think a short walk will do you the World of good. Try to enjoy the rest of the day, I really hope you do and maybe if you feel like later in the day you can post about your walk. 🌷🌷🌷
I hope you are safe and well.
I went out for an hours walk
I live very near the torn centre and I could see the bright sunshine away from my negative thought pattern
I walked towards the Cathedral and walked past town to come home
It has become a total ghost town
Unbelievable how the World has changed
I did not tell my Mother that I had gone out for walk
But as I live in a flat , it helped me to see another life.
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement
I am so happy you went for a walk. Most places are looking like a ghost town at the moment. It is good to get out though and especially if you live in a flat, it's good to stretch your legs and it's good for your mind. It will be good for you physical and mental health if you could do this most days. I hope you have a pleasant more relaxing evening. Oh and yes, I am fine and well thanks. xxx
I think as I live in a flat it is very restricted
Also very lonely
I have studied but I am becoming aware why I have failed on so many attempts
How was your day ?
My day has been running ok. I have been clearing some paperwork. You know over the years you seem to collect important paperwork and it accumulates and you put it away safe in boxes. Well, I've just been sorting through them, what was once important has now just become rubbish so I'm gaining some storage along the way. xx
Good morning
I hope you are well.
After walking through town yesterday, I began to see that we are all part of a much bigger world.
I have noticed that whenever I go through paperwork and filing , I find it to be quite laborious but hugely rewarding once done.
I hope you have a peaceful and restful day
Hi Roukaya, hope you are fine and well this morning as I am. Yes the World is big and there is much to do and see and so much enjoyment we can take from the simple things around us. I will be going for a walk later also I have to do shopping today, which I will be leaving till about 4 pm as the queueing is not as bad at that time. I hope you have a very pleasant day .😄😄
Hello
I hope you are well.
I think it is a beautiful day to out for a walk and food shopping.
I realised how important it is to keep a safe distance everywhere you go.
I quite like Asian food and I have found there is a huge Indian Food Store within walking distance,
I have noticed when I last went food shopping this was on the day of Lock Down that as much as I tried to keep a social distance others did not.
This can be quite annoying
But I think the Supermarkets are much stricter now and hopefully you will be be to obtain your provisions safely.
Yes, you are right, the supermarkets have become much stricter now and most people are respectively g social distancing. It is a beautiful day today and I hope you get chance to go for some exercise today and stretch your legs. 😄😄
Thanks for reply
I find this website to be very helpful.
I have started having structured assistance in getting back to work.
It will assist with CVs building and finding opportunities within the job market
Sadly as a result of the impact of Covid 19 the demand for Wills and Probate has increased
I have been trying for three years but due to competition and elitist nature of the Legal Profession I have been hitting a brick wall.
With the changing climate , I will start to apply for a work experience placement alongside to studying for the exams.
I think from what I am learning it is the ability to persevere and believe in your skills
I would very much like to start working in a job which is rewarding and fulfilling.
I hope your day goes well
This is a really good idea, there is no time like the present. Work experience will be invaluable to you. Any work experience you get, I am sure you will be of great help as the demand for these very delicate matters would have increased due to this terrible virus. Wills and probate I should imagine is a very rewarding job as people are requiring help with the legalities of this system at a time when they have just suffered loss. I would imagine you will be very busy writing to all the firms. I would write to every one knowing me. Good luck. I will be excited to here when you get a work placement. Have a great day. 😄😄
Hi Roukaya,
It seems as if you may have been up quite early this morning thinking about this. I know from previous posts that your mother can be quite demanding and challenging for you to handle, especially from a distance.
I think it should be said that many elderly people can become quite challenging, as their world begins to narrow. If you've had a bit of a demanding personality earlier in life, I think that's only going to increase with age.
Maybe it would would be helpful to think about the reasons it might happen. There's her demanding personality first and foremost. It's also true that no human life is safe. Anyone can die at any age, but most people don't have to think about it much. In youth we put it off for later, as something that happens to other people.
But when you get old, you know with certainty that your days, weeks and years are going to be numbered. And for many people that can be frightening. And many older people fear dying without the support of others and especially their families. Your mum is probably really quite stressed that you are so far away. And you can be of limited help because you too have your own stresses to cope with. It can make for quite a volatile mix.
I don't think you can solve this. I'd only say brush some of her demands aside as you aren't likely ever to be able to fulfil all of her demands and wishes. You have a life of your own to live. I hope that helps a little bit.
Try to stay as unstressed as you can and have a happy a day as you can manage. Take care. 🙏
I hope you are safe and well
Thank you for your kind words
Very well said
I think I witnessed her suffer in her marriage and when my Father was involved with a younger woman it was ok me to ensure she was protected financially
She did not lift a finger
She put all the responsibility on me
From then she became demanding and I did my best and it was my decision
But this has come at a cost
I did not qualify in law and this has saddens me
I am trying to pass the Diploma in Wills and Probate and many times I have failed the exam by a few marks
I would go over and help my Mother manage her worries and due to insufficient reading I would fail the exam
Even now when she rings and puts her worries on me I have a tendency to neglect my studies and the job search I have left alone until the Lock Down is over
I will be speaking to a Psychotherapist today and she has been kind enough to listen to me for a short while on a regular basis for free
She is very understanding and the people here also understanding
I hope you have a good day
Thank you for your very kind words
I spoke to Mum this morning and she was angry at first then calmed down
Hopefully I will speak later
How do you spend your day
I hope you are well
I think as I am on my own my Mother is aware maybe she rang too much yesterday and is not calling as much as she did
Having mental health issues plus yesterday’s behaviour clearly did not help
I think I am sad because for three years I have been trying to pass the Diploma in Wills and Probate and missing the pass mark by a few marks
Plus finding a years work experience
I have put my Mothers interests above my own and I saw this yesterday
I expect she is quite angry but I am due to speak later
In the grand scheme of things I even feel guilty for taking about my myself given the suffering of others
I hope you keep well
Hi Roukaya....... maybe this is wrong on my part, but I feel you must tell your mother...... as much as you love her, she must not put all of her problems on you, tell her you are studying to have a better lifestyle in the future for yourself!
Do not worry about talking about yourself in this community, when others are suffering..... we are all here because we are all suffering in some way or another..... and we are here to encourage and support each other! 😀🌈
Good morning
Thank you for your reply
I hope you are safe and well
I have spoken to Mum but my Mother is a creature of habit.
She will tell me if what worries her and I listen .
How are you managing with the Lock Down .
I have read that you watch the Chateau in France,
It is a very interesting programme but I wonder how the Lock Down is impacting on those who have bought a Chateau
But the Chateaus are incredibly beautiful once renovated and the owners who manage to transform the Chateau really do deserve their much earned success
I can see it is a real labour of live for them to take their dream and make into a reality
Thank you for reply
I hope you are able to keep safe snd well
Hopefully you will be able to sell your home one day
I am a firm believer it will be sold at the right time
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