Being careful with what I write - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Being careful with what I write

Roukaya profile image
28 Replies

I hope you are all well

I think as this is a post for well being I will be careful with what I write in this Post

I have lost other people I my life may be because I do not appear to be taking responsibility for my life

I am troubled with the behaviour of the tenant plus dealing with my own issues of anxiety with exam resits and finding employment

This is supposed to be a site of support and understanding but I will be careful

28 Replies
Troilus profile image
Troilus

Please don’t get upset Roukaya. I read your post yesterday, but didn’t respond as Happyme seemed to be giving you good advice.

I did notice there were some unkind comments, but please don’t take them to heart.

Do as happyme suggested. Replace the bedroom carpet, and have the moths seen to. Allow the tenant to replace the other carpet at her own expense on the provision she leaves it behind when she leaves.

It is also wise to remember that the rental on the property is set by the condition it is in at the time it was let.

Make it clear to your letting agency that unless it is a health and safety matter you will not be making any further improvements.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Troilus

Good morning

Thank you for answering my post

I am concerned with the demands she is making

I have a electric report to be done next week plus these two issues from the tenant

If I had said no to the tenant I would have wondered how long it would have taken to find another

I do have rent guarantee in place and I have already explained I will do the moth removal and remove the bedroom carpet

She has signed for two and a half years and has explained she wants to make the flat her home

Thank you for answering

I hope you are keeping well

How will you spend your day today

Troilus profile image
Troilus in reply to Roukaya

That’s all fair and good.

She is free to make your property her home, but not at your expense.

My worry is, that if you keep accommodating her requests she will keep coming back for more. She might see you as a soft touch. I feel now is the time to draw a line, to prevent any further non essential requests.

You have other things you want to get on with.

in reply to Troilus

Yes happy me gave some great advice yesterday didn't she?

I had an unkind comment directed at me yesterday and I just ignored it and walked away.

Veteran250 profile image
Veteran250

Roukaya.

This is a community of members who all have ongoing medical problems, you can say what you like in the community, so long as you are respectful to other members, and their beliefs.

We are all here to encourage and support each other on our ongoing journey through this lockdown, and the pandemic.

I guess you took in the new tenant, even though she wanted you to remove some of your furniture.... not a good thing in my eyes, but that was your choice.

You can come into this community and shout, scream, soundoff, or even laugh if you wish..... we will still be here to encourage you..... wishing you well for a relaxing Saturday..... take care and stay safe. 😀👍🌹🌈

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Veteran250

Good morning

I hope you are well

Against my better judgement I took this tenant and now I will have to draw the line with her demands

in reply to Veteran250

Well said Don, I think we can talk about anything and everything on here NOT just health and know we won’t be criticised or made fun of, of course there are some who don’t agree with that and it showed up yesterday, but most of us understand just how life can be so complicated and difficult and we are here to support each other.

in reply to

Somebody tried to pick a fight with me yesterday on here but I ignored them and walked away and did something else instead!

Best thing to do is walk away and ignore them and feel sorry for them!

in reply to

Good for you 👍

in reply to

I hope I haven't done anything to upset you, if I have I'm truly sorry. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx ❤️🤗🌈💜

in reply to

No it's not you at all it was someone else yesterday who had claimed something I said was a double meaning catty reply that could have started a fight but I ignored it and walked away!

in reply to

Best thing to do xxxx

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador

Morning Roukaya, we are a supportive community and try our best too support each other. I agree with Troilus, Happyme gave some excellent advice yesterday on the matter of your Tennant and letting agent. It is best to get these early teething problems sorted out as quickly as possible and let the agency deal with them. Then you can stop worrying about them so much and get on with your study. Hopefully for you, things will settle down with this Tennant once these couple of issues have been sorted out. I do hope you try to have a nice day today and put some worrying behind you. 😊🌸🌼

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to bobbybobb

Good morning

I hope you are well

I suffer from anxiety and this tenant is starting to make me ill

I will try to speak to the Letting Agent this morning and see if I can speak to the manager but this is unlikely as she will resume on Monday

I am tired mentally and I wonder what I have signed up for

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply to Roukaya

Oh dear Roukaya this is the last thing you need. Stay positive and strong. Get these issues sorted out with the letting agency today. Put your foot down and be quite firm with the letting agency on what you are willing and not willing to consider. You don't want this carrying on so you need to be very clear with them. I know it can be hard for some people but you need to try and be assertive when you are speaking with them. Do not let them control the conversation. They are working on your behalf, not making decisions for you. You need to do what is legally required as a landlord but I don't think replacing a living room carpet to meet your Tennant's taste falls into this category, tell them she can buy her own if she wants to replace it. Good luck Roukaya. 😊🌻🌼

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to bobbybobb

Good morning

I spoke with the Lettings side but the Property Manager most likely will speak to me on Monday

I spoke to a Landlord a family friend who explained as Landlady’s we have certain obligations

I have told the Lettings Side that I will do the Pest Control and replace the bedroom carpets but not the sitting room carpets

I sent an email to the Property Manager

Unless I hear anything today , I will have to wait until Monday

Thank you for listening

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply to Roukaya

That sounds like you have things sorted out so good for you. Try and put it to the back of your mind and enjoy your weekend. 👍😊🌼

Ajay575 profile image
Ajay575

Hi roukaya i also read your post yesterday and therecwas a couple comments oukd have been better ,i would maybe give tennant the benefit off the dought on this occasion and get the 2 carpets and try move on if you can and maybe just the vase with furniture being moved they have then seen the carpets need replaced ,and it is forgotten, if other issuies with tennants cone up again then you can lool upon them different next time ,just another idea for you

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Ajay575

I expect it is all the problems coming at once as the tennis settling in

Ajay575 profile image
Ajay575 in reply to Roukaya

Could be after a few months hopefully will be fine and if the main thing the rent gets paid

Hi Roukaya,

I hope you aren't feeling upset with the advice given yesterday, because it was given by someone with a deep knowledge of the Lettings world and it was meant to help you, not to upset you.

I can understand if you suddenly feel that this isn't the tenant for you, but the best plan now is to try to make it work. The happier you can make your tenant, the less you will probably find that she has to keep contacting you. She has even stated that she wants to make this apartment her home and that is reasonable and also helps you, as generally tenants who are contented make less demands on you.

You are welcome to post anything you need help with, so long as it falls within community guidelines, which this did. I think you are just very worried that this tenant will be more trouble than you anticipated and you needed to share that with other people.

Put it all behind you now, and have a great day today! 🙏

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Good morning

I hope you are well

I spoke to the Lettings this morning to one of the Directors saying what I will do

The Property Manger works as from Monday but I have emailed her

I think I spoke to an experienced landlord who has explained the old carpet and removal of moths is not unreasonable but I will not do the Sitting Room carpet

I have experienced some very bad tenants from my Fathers Property Portfolio so this is what causes the deep anxiety

Thank you for being kind enough to answer

I hope your day goes well

I will just have to wait until Monday to speak to the Property Manager and find quotes myself for the pest control and carpets to arrange with the Property Management

Glad to see you are still with us after yesterday Roukaya, you know we are here for you and each other to help and support, hopefully you will sort this out once and for all on Monday, as bobbybobb says try and be assertive, the letting agency is working for you, good luck

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Good Afternoon

I hope you are well

I realise and I agree with the tenants demands but the Sitting Room carpet

I find it hard even though their is a Property Manager

happytulip profile image
happytulip

I hope you manage to get it sorted on Monday and can enjoy your weekend between now and then.

I must say it does become a bit of a difficult situation when someone asks for people's opinions or advice on here and then advice is given with the intention of trying to help and then that causes upset.

Its a tricky situation. As I said in my response to you yesterday it seems that this tenancy situation is causing you alot of stress and must have an effect on your health. That wasn't a malicious comment it was a factual comment because you have said how stressed you have been about this and that is not good for you.

I really hope that it can all be finalised soon and you can be left in peace to work on and enjoy other projects.

Life is full of hurdles to overcome, so you must not let that stop you from the enjoyment of other things. This is particularly difficult for those who happen to be sensitive. When we become sensitive, we are blinded by our ability to function. We live in a World that seems to be so unfair, the more we care the more we suffer.

I particularly like the coal quote posted by Callendersgal. When I pick up the hot coal to throw at injustice the only person I'm hurting is myself (or something like that). I will always remember that so as not to hurt myself again.

I think the way to get out of your suffering is to "focus on the answers, not on the problems (nor the suffering)."

Once you focus on the answers, the solutions will come. Give it a try anyway and let us know how you get on.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Good Afternoon

I hope you are well

I am trying to focus on the answers

On Monday I will explain it is essential to treat the moths and have new carpet for the bedroom

I will not give in to more demands as the carpet in the sitting room is acceptable

in reply to Roukaya

Hi

How are you feeling this evening?

I do hope I haven't upset you, if I have it wasn't intentional.

Anyway, I think you are doing the right thing by not replacing the sitting room carpet. Take care and stay safe. Love Lynne xxxx❤️💜

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