Dear Whoever you are..
This is to thank you for the highly artistic and spontaneously crafted 'Smiley Face' drawn in the 3 inch-thick snow on the bonnet of my elderly but posh and serious Mercedes Limo this morning. Clearly, in passing, I assume that you felt that 'she' (by the way, 'Mercedes' is a lady's name in Germany) needed cheering-up after yet another onslaught from The Beast from The East. Fair enough, in the circumstances.
I'm pleased to report that my car (registration number 'S1 LLY') has been wearing her new Smiley identity with some pride, and a crowd of neighbours has already gathered to delight in her new, grinning expression. 'Banksey' would be proud!
On the subject of 'grinning' cars: I would, however, just offer some polite feedback on your artistic skills, which might be helpful to you for further Snow Face Art projects. In particular, the eyes on your 'work' (all 3 of them) are slightly lop-sided, giving the face more of a fiendishly supernatural look, rather than an innocently mirthful one. This would be ok, except that a 3-eyed Smiley face is likely to scare young children as well as adults of a nervous disposition - of which there are many where I live, including my good self.
I would also gently bring your attention to the 9 teeth, or rather, JAGGED FANGS on the 'Smiley' face which protrude menacingly across the entire length of the bonnet (hood) and further suggest that your 'character' is either derived from a Gothic Horror Movie Halloween character, or perhaps fashioned on the late Sir Ken Dodd? As I write this, I can now hear the sound of infants screaming uncontrollably and parents trying to pacify them outside my living room window, accompanied by the distant but fast-advancing sound of the sirens of Police cars, Ambulances and a team of Psychiatrists who are specialists in Trauma treatment. Oh dear...
And then there is the inventively positioned 'nose' on your 'Smiley' face. Well, yes: on a Snowman in a garden, a large carrot is 'De Rigeur' for comedic effect. However, on a Mercedes this doesn't quite fit with the design aesthetics of such a prestigious German vehicle. To be honest, the entire configuration of 3 staring eyes, jagged 'Jaws'-like fangs and a suggestively placed carrot (presumably intended as a phallic 'finishing touch') would suggest 'Room for Improvement' if you are intending to make this type of Car Art your future career path.
That said, 'she' (Mercedes) seems to be quietly taking all this excitement in her stride. In fact, the old girl even seems to be enjoying the attention she is suddenly getting - which, as I understand it, is more than is usual for a 'lady of a certain age'.
So, in conclusion, I would like to thank you for your efforts to brighten-up Mercedes, myself and others in my Community this morning, even if slightly mis-directed. Although there will inevitably be some fallout from events with regards to the need for long-term treatment for PTSD for some people here, a few others here have enjoyed a "good old laugh" (including the local Police). All I would suggest is, should we have another visitation of The Beast from The East, you might first consult with Banksey (it you can locate him)so as to be able to emulate his style more subtly when decorating Mercedes, or other vehicles in the area. This will be especially helpful since I understand that even Banksey replicas are now fetching good money on ebay...
Yours obligingly
MB 
Sent from: Benjamin Mansions, Weston super Snow... 
