The Lighter Side: Advertising on PMRGCA Health Un... - PMRGCAuk

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The Lighter Side: Advertising on PMRGCA Health Unlocked - A Few Warning Signs...? ;-)

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57

Greetings Polymarauders and Pred-poppers Worldwide (and in Wales too, 'Look You'..).

It's nearly THAT time of the week again! So, after today's excitement on the forum about supposed Imposters posting blatantly exploitative adverts on a Charity Social Forum for sometimes 'dodgy' products to some of us clearly Vulnerable and Semi-Deranged PMR GCA sufferers, I couldn't resist offering some of my considered input on this topic as a result of my considerable experience in the highly ethical (ha!) Sales and Marketing Industry.

Of course, many of us now live in an 'online' world where everything from a packet of fags to a Bentley Limo can be sold and bought on the internet (not to mention the weekly groceries).

Here are a few examples of Modern Advertising Techniques and Styles for you to assess and comment on...

1. 'UNCLE MB'S ORIGINAL PMRGCA MAGIC CURE! - Rigorously Laboratory Tested (on a Seaside Donkey and a couple of my Neighbours) with Miraculous Results. 100% Gluten free, Non hypo-allergenic (whatever that means). Only £200 quid for a month's supply (sorry, no money-back guarantee). Send Cash in brown envelope to: 'MB Miracle Health Products', Behind Tesco's, WSM. We'll send your order out on Tuesday (not sure which Tuesday though, due to Customer demand - please be patient).

*****

2. (Context: my elderly, widowed Jewish Aunt sent this one to her local newspaper for the Obituaries section after her sudden bereavement):

Version 1: 'I am very sad to announce the passing-away of my beloved husband of 50 years, Abraham. I miss him so much, my Life is empty without him. Pease send flowers to.... etc']. (47 words).

The local newspaper responded saying that 'Free' (i.e. no cost) adverts for Memorials were limited to a maximum of 10 words. So, in an effort to save money, my Aunt revised the advert.

Version 2 went: 'Aby's dead. Volvo For Sale. £500 ono'. (7 words)

My Aunt tried to get a rebate for the unused 3 words in the Free advert but is still waiting to hear from the newspaper... ;-/

***

3. 'Have you been involved in an Accident that wasn't your Fault and never happened in the first place?!! Did you trip-over a matchstick and suffer Life-threatening Injuries?!! Did You Send A lot of Money by wire-transfer to a complete Stranger in a foreign country for no sensible reason?!! Did someone look at you in the street in a way that you didn't like?!! Are you just a bit Bonkers and wanting some excitement in your Life?!! Contact 'DaftVictimLawyers' on 0800 123456 for a Free Consultation with an Expert and to make a Personal Injury Claim TODAY! You could be entitled to Several Million £££ in Compensation!! Calls are charged at £28 per minute. We record all calls for training and compliance purposes. This may result in you waiting for up to 16 hours before a Customer Service Agent responds to you, so we will play you some 'nice' and relaxing music during your boring wait. Please select from: Vivaldi, Dolly Parton, Led Zeppelin, or some soporific 'Lift' Music created on a computer by our IT Geek who has no musical appreciation whatsoever. We value our Clients and Welcome your Call!'

***

4. 'Don't Take Chances - Take Your Personal Security Seriously! Retired, 93 year-old ex-supermarket Meeter-and-Greeter can safely 'handle' any situation for you including: responding kindly to weird looks from strangers, mending broken carrier bags with sticky tape and a smile, helping with embarrassing incontinence issues, having a 'nice' chat about Brexit, being irritatingly jovial regardless of your dire personal circumstances, and much more besides! Sorry, no Professional References (I lost them..). But my young Ukrainian neighbour says: Hey, Markovitch you are Sooo Goood Oldlie Eengleesh Chappie!' - enough said? All work offers welcome, but please note I only work on Tuesdays between 2 and 4 p.m. due to my PMR and recurring Gout. Telephone Bill Peabody on .... etc'.

***

Well, PMR and GCA Comrades, that's about it - for now at least. If you are inclined to throw yourself out of the window after reading more of this Silliness, I don't blame you. If you are intrigued and / or confused by the enclosed, you are quite right to be so. If you are chuckling or (perish the thought) hooting with laughter, then we are probably on the same BCW (Bonkers Comedy Wavelength) and there's probably no Hope for any of Us Lot here.... ;-/

Best wishes and, as always, try to Keep Smiling on The Journey ;-)

'Uncle' MB :-)

aka ...? I'll leave that to you!

48 Replies

😂

🦉 HOOTING!

Nice picture of your son Mark! 😉

Ha, SJ! If I knew you better... etc ;-) :-D

Pastit profile image
Pastit in reply to SheffieldJane

Ha Sheffieldjane, he's got the advantage of about 13 years on me! :-) :-) :-) and probably many of us. Unless he is one of Heinz 57 varieties? :-) :-)

Pete :-)

Ha! Well, Pete. In fact, I actually come from a long family line of Boxers - although one of my uncles was a Yorkshire Terrier ;-) :-D

Ha Mark, pull the other tail :-)

I need to sleep on this one, too much vino to digest!

“Uncle” M. B

You are simply the best. I am sitting up while the shoulders hurt but feel much better now

Non of the above but I did have a call recently from Kevin in Swansea, in the centre he said, you'll be able to see them playing cricket in Arms Park I said, yes he said. 🤣 Then he went into a long explanation of the problem with my computer which he alone could solve at my expense etc. I then told him that my son had just arrived and he should talk to him as his degree is in computer science... there was a click and we were cut off, funny that 😂

Hidden profile image
Hidden

Happy endorphins coursing thru my veins all because of laughter.

Thanks

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Hidden

Thanks Lin, all part of the service :-)

Ha Mark, I thought it quite funny 😉 but then I suppose I am inflicted with a similar sence of humour as yourself.😱

I blame the preds 😉

Para 2/Version 2: Hot coffee splutter. Now requiring DaftVictimLawyers, they 'll be in touch :-)

Thanks Dr. Mark for the 4:00 am laughter dose before Pred.

OMG Sandy, first 'Uncle', now 'Dr.' MB! What next, The 'Dalai' MB?! ;-) :-D

You impart humor which is much appreciated by the polymaurauders. When you switch to wisdom, the Dalai MB it is!

Thanks Sandy - I'm well-known locally for wearing Dalai Lama type of gear whilst shouting at the seagulls on the coast of sunny WSM UK. The Police aren't too happy but it entertains the tourists at least! ;-) :-D

Glad your roll in life is light hearted comedian!

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Hidden

I've definitely been the victim of an accident that wasn't my fault, I have aching shoulders, hips, thighs and I'm stiff all over every morning. It must have been an accident, right???? DaftVictimLawyers here I come.

Pastit profile image
Pastit in reply to Hidden

Ha Maxx57, me too. I think we better set up a petition :-)

Pete :-)

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Hidden in reply to Pastit

Good idea! Looking forward to some compo.....

Pastit profile image
Pastit in reply to Hidden

I must admit that when I first went down with the symptoms, I felt that I had been in a car crash 🤗😕

Good analogy Pete :-)

Ha Mark, is that like an ology, i.e. the stuff I've got behind my name:, I.Eng. MEEE, Dip.MS, I.Prod E. (retired)

Pete :-)

I'm suitably impressed Pete :-)

My best claim to fame is my OBE (One Boiled Egg) :-D

Ha Mark, don't worry :-) I'm sure you will get an ology with you new book ! :-) something I could never do :-(

If you want something manufactured I'm the boy :-) My latest project is a model Steam locomotive 5" gauge. It should be able to pull a wagon of at least 6 people. How's that for being boring ! :-) Keeps me out of mischief though :-)

Pete :-)

That's a few of Us Lot then?!

Ha, I didn't say I was going to finish it :-( :-)

CT-5012 profile image
CT-5012 in reply to Pastit

OMG another steam freak, my OH has a 12inch to the foot steam roller 😤

Pastit profile image
Pastit in reply to CT-5012

Wow 😵😨😀

We are not regarded as "freaks" just highly intelligent people :-) :-)

Note to myself; - watch out for the back wash :-( :-)

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to markbenjamin57

MB: Cooked thanks to Other B*ggers Efforts?????

Lovely! :-D

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Hidden

Yep, call xxx-me-xxx (whoops!) US right now Maxx ;-) :-D

Hi Marko how about 'Ever been sold PPI. Make a claim....time is running out... even if you got them free on prescription". May

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to May10

Spot on May, got a captive audience on here, could do a roaring trade.

Just let me digest the options for a while!

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to May10

Ha, May! :-)

Enjoying my weekly dose of laughter along with daily dose of Pred, Lefludomide etc, etc . Do you do stand up comedy ? Maybe this could be the start of something new! 😃

Thanks Jackie :-).

Well, in my corporate training days I used to try to inject some fun and humour into what were often 'dry' topics (usually sending myself up). More than once, my lovely training 'disciples' asked me to do a short stand-up routine at the end of a workshop. Can you believe that?! And, of course, I always did. Little did they know that I was more nervous being a stand-up comic in front of them than as their trainer! ;-)

I'm not surprised Mark- it flows too smoothly to be a one off!!! Very funny!😂👍🏻

Well, I have had a bit of practise over the years.. ;-) :-)

Ha ha! Made my day, Mark!

Thanks.

Bless you sondya, sincere thanks :-)

I'm chuckling..My English comprehension has evolved, thanks to reading your posts 😂😂

Wow Gaijin! That's a true compliment, thank you :-)

😂so funny😂

Thanks Sandra - thought I'd try to provide you all with an antidote after the unfortunate misunderstandings here yesterday about advertising on the forum / the mix-up over replies. Just glad all ended well... ;-)

Bravo! Had me laughing by the second sentence!

Speaking of advertisements, a local bar advertised their soup of the day as “Whiskey with ice croutons”. My Pred brain thought, “Whiskey soup? Hmm, I’ve never heard of that. Wonder if it’s like beer cheese soup?” Then the ice croutons broke through the Pred fog. Ahhhhh....

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Insight329

I'm allergic to wheat - so no croutons. And ice croutons in my whisky? Don't be disgusting...

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