The Lighter Side: Domestic Incident at MB Mansions. Is it Me - or the Effects of PMR and the Preds? ;-)

[markbenjamin57]

Greetings again All

My apologies for this Unusual Tale of Woe, but I would appreciate your help and advice.

Early last night, my beloved Soul Mate and Partner of many years (Natasha) asked if she could borrow my car for 20 minutes and (q.) “pop-outski to zee supermarket for a few beets and peezies” - as you Women often do.

After 6 hours, at 03.00 in the morning she hadn’t returned and I became very anxious after trying to call her on her mobile phone every few minutes but with no response.

Fearing the worst, I called the UK Police Emergency 999 number and was connected to a Female Operator who asked in an urgent tone: “OK SIR, CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE ME A DETAILED DESCRIPTION - INCLUDING ANY DISTINGUISHING FEATURES?”

My reply: “Yes, she’s a beautiful low mileage 2005 model silver special edition Mercedes Limo with black leather heated seats, walnut trim, automatic climate control, Bose sound system, twin-spoke 17 inch alloy wheels, privacy glass, and a re-mapped twin turbo engine producing 357 BHP at 5000 RPM, registration plate ‘FUN 1’. I’M DESPERATELY WORRIED, PLEASE CAN YOU HELP TO FIND HER?!!”

After a short pause, the Lady Police Operator sighed in exasperation, muttered a few obscene expletives under her breath and then hung-up on me.

My Question:

What's happening with our Emergency Services in the UK nowadays? Is it Me - or the effects of PMR and the Preds?

Answers on a Postcard please, and keep smiling Folks..

‘Uncle’ MB

[Daisychain12]

Oh you cheeky man how hilarious!! I can imagine how that went down!! More please. Much more!!! Cxx

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Daisychain12]

Confession: it's all FAKE NEWS...

[Daisychain12 in reply to markbenjamin57]

Aw now you’ve spoilt it lol xxxx

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Daisychain12]

Ohhhh....

[Daisychain12 in reply to markbenjamin57]

Shall we call you Donald? 😱

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Daisychain12]

'Donald'? Who's He?! NEVER HEARD OF HIM - IMPOSTER!!!!

(Yawning...) Turning-in now after a busy day, back tomorrow. Keep your chin-up in the meantime Linda, you have a wonderful and enduring Spirit for Life and Fun despite the challenges of Adversity. Keep it up..

'Uncle' MB x

[MamaBeagle in reply to markbenjamin57]

Gosh, I never would have guessed that MB!!!! Happy New Year by the way!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to MamaBeagle]

Ha - you couldn't make it up. Ok, so I did

HNY from one MB to another..

[Hidden]

Dunno about the PMR/PRED. effect Mark! Seems more like Red Wine Syndrome or Withdrawal to me!! Had a similar reaction with the White myself!! Other more expert opinion should be along shortly....ATB

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Hidden]

Ohh, nooo.. Pd, not EXPERT opinions. Gawd Elp Me...

[Jankie]

Outrageous 😂

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Jankie]

What else did you expect from me, Jankie..?

[bunnymom]

It can't be pred head as you remembered so many details. So must be another dark side of PMR 😉

[Constance13 in reply to bunnymom]

Hope we don’t all catch it!!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Constance13]

[markbenjamin57 in reply to bunnymom]

One of many..?

[Jackoh]

Can't see a problem- typical male response!😜

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Jackoh]

[aladymo]

Heard another one along the same line. Man was leaving work , fell slipped on ice ( this takes place in my beloved icy snowy cold country Canada). Called his wife told him he fell and Emily took him to the hospital - he’s in emergency - he has three cracked ribs , a fractured ankle and a concussion. Her answer. “Who’s Emily?” !!!!!!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to aladymo]

Boom boom - lovely!

[YuliK in reply to aladymo]

Three scaffolding building workers were sitting on the top floor of a multi story building eating their sandwiches.

First man said,

" omg, ham sandwich again, ..if my wife doesn't change the menu then I shall throw myself from the top of this building"

The second man opened his sandwich and found tuna inside ..he also started to shout,

" that goes for me too, if she doesn't change the menu then I'll also throw myself off this building"

The third chap opened his sandwich, and immediately threw himself off the building...

The other two left on the top of the building decided that they had to phone the dead chaps wife and tell her what happened and it was because of the contents of his sandwich...

Well they plucked up the courage to tell the wife the reason he threw himself off the building.

The wife was stunned, "I don't know why he threw himself off the building, This morning he made his own sandwich".

[markbenjamin57 in reply to YuliK]

Lovely!

[Constance13]

Imagine if you had really done that? A police car would be at your mansion asap to ring your neck!😂💥

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Constance13]

Yep, I bet the Old Bill get that sort of thing quite a lot..

[Constance13 in reply to markbenjamin57]

Unfortunately, quite true! What is the matter with people?

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Constance13]

I think some are one slice short of a loaf and think the Old Bill will come and destroy a wasps' nest / let the cat out for them etc. Unfortunately, others are deliberate pranksters and waste a lot of Police time...

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to markbenjamin57]

You should hear some of the things the ambos get called for!!!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to PMRpro]

Bruised egos... Bad hair days... Noisy neighbours...?

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to markbenjamin57]

There was a call for a cat.

telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/0...

metro.co.uk/2017/06/30/some...

There's even been a study:

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl...

[markbenjamin57 in reply to PMRpro]

Reminds me of the old saying: 'Fact is stranger than fiction..'. Trouble is, with so much Fake News around nowadays, people often can't differentiate. That's probably why I get away with so much semi-credible Nonsense here. Hey ho!

[Hidden in reply to Constance13]

Others usually!.. ..All barking barmy most of us are!! Keeps us going!

[Rokerman]

The last time your limo was (allegedly) nicked - and aaalmost had me fooled...- it was your ursine friend who got the blame..! Have you let him out again?

Happy New Year (and keep the keys safe)

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Rokerman]

Ha Rokerman, you have a good memory (for someone with PMR - ha ha!). Nope, just 'sold' Tedski on ebay (to be accurate, paid someone to take him away..)

HNY to you too - let's hope for a positive one all round

[Grants148]

Oh Mark did you really sell poor Tedski on E bay ? It has made me forget all about your beloved limo !!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Grants148]

Only joking Grants, I said that just to keep You Lot on your toes...

[Constance13 in reply to Grants148]

As if he would!!!!

[Grants148]

He had better not !!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Grants148]

Mmmm... although once or twice I have considered renting him out to anyone that can make use of him

[Suet3942]

Not a “ rent boy” . Poor Tedski. 😂😂

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Suet3942]

Actually I meant renting him out to help with the shopping, car valeting, DIY tasks etc. But then again..? The mind boggles..

[Suet3942]

Lol. 🤣🤣🤣

[tgca]

Was Tedski driving?

[markbenjamin57 in reply to tgca]

No tgca, he's banned after the last time he 'borrowed' the Limo....

[tgca in reply to markbenjamin57]

Blooming boy racers