In an ever-confusing world of Fake News and Scams of all kinds, I can now reveal an Exclusive Story from my close friend and Undercover Media Contact, Tony French, about some new and disturbing developments in the murky world of Social Health forums.
Here’s Tony’s Exclusive Report in-full:
In ongoing investigations by INTERLOP codenamed Operation ‘Brain Frog’, Undercover Agents recently conducted dawn-raids on several addresses at a remote location in rural Italy. Subtly disguised as shuffling, grumpy, pill-swallowing ‘Polymalingerers and Pred Junkies’, the BF Team closed-in on, and uncovered a secret factory which is believed to be manufacturing up to 200 Fake PMR ‘Aunties’ on a monthly basis.
The Original, highly respected and authentic PMR ‘Aunty’ - known by her distinctive Avatar on a leading Social Health Forum - is believed to be the Genuine Article. However, counterfeit PMR ‘Aunties’, who bear an astonishingly accurate resemblance to the original version, are now being distributed via a sophisticated network of Posts and Replies on numerous other Internet Social Health Forums. Experts estimate that these fake PMR ‘Aunties’ are now being packaged and exported to new and expanding markets including the USA, Mainland Europe, Australia, and New Zealand.
The tip-off for Operation ‘Brain Frog’ came from a vigilant member of the PMR Community who noticed that the genuine PMR ‘Aunty’ appeared to reply, simultaneously, to 27 Members’ often anguished Posts about a variety of distressing (and sometimes embarrassing) symptoms and experiences of PMR - all within 30 seconds of one another. Experts in Mass Social Media Communication consider this to be statistically impossible to achieve by one person alone: and, therefore, it is highly likely to support the theory that some, if not many of the PMR ‘Aunties’ in question are Imposters - despite all of the responses being of an equally high quality.
One Insider-Expert likened this disturbing PAP (Parallel Appearance Phenomenon) to similar accounts in the popular media in 1979 when the famous (but deceased) Rock and Roll Legend, Elvis Presley, was reported to appear simultaneously in 27 locations around the globe, including The Champs Elysees (France), The Grand Canyon (USA) , The Taj Mahal (India), and a Fish and Chip shop in Manchester (UK).
Operation ’Brain Fog’ Senior Investigator, Marcus Chucklebum, told me: “This is a sophisticated and cynical, potentially Criminal Enterprise which exploits the emotional vulnerabilities of PMR sufferers who are not being taken seriously by their Doctors, just to make them feel ‘good’ again - whether by legitimate means or otherwise”.
He continued: “It would appear that the 200-strong workforce at the Fake (allegedly) ‘PMR Aunty’ factory have been working around-the-clock for the past 8 years to exploit this ever-expanding market - and have capitalised on the impassioned demands from PMR Sufferers who are desperate for any kind of advice or support around this distressing health condition, and who have no other place to go to for support and advice. Many of the ‘Workers’ at the factory appear to be PMR Sufferers too, so it’s a Double Whammy for the Fake PMR Aunty Syndicate - and its staff“.
The International PMR ‘Aunty’ Scam is believed to be aided and supported by a network of Accomplices including a certain ‘Lady’ from the South West of the UK (a known Elvis-Myth perpetrator) and a notoriously elusive man simply known as ’MB57’ who, reportedly, only ever responds to the commands ‘Oi, You!’, ‘Four Eyes’, ‘Uncle Bonkers’ and ‘Swivel Hips’.
Investigations are continuing around MB57’s true identity and whereabouts - but Intelligence Experts believe that he resides behind a sofa in heavily guarded Mansion somewhere in a sleepy seaside town in the UK, protected by a fierce and dangerous Bodyguard known as ‘Teddy’. Members of the Public in the UK (or anywhere in the world, for that matter) are advised not to approach either MB57 or Teddy since any encounter with them could result in a serious outbreak of uncontrollable Mirth requiring urgent medical attention and a nice cup of tea to ‘calm them down’.
Mr Chucklebum concluded: “Choosing a PMR ‘Aunty’ is a bit like buying tyres for your car. The cheaper and quicker option might seem more attractive: but, in the end, the Premium Brand is always best - even if you have to pay a bit more and wait longer. Also, don’t be fooled by the likes of PMR ‘Uncles’ such as MB57 - who are also muscling-in on the PMR Action. We at INTERLOP know who you are, and where you are…".
(End of Special Report from Tony French).
Well, my trusty PMR / GCA Amigos, that’s the latest PMR Bombshell. Look after yourselves, sleep well, and don’t have Nightmares…
MB :-)
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markbenjamin57
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More fake news coming in suggesting that an imposter calling himself markbenjamin57 has been ruining the reputation of the original mb57 by posting sensible posts about relevant radio programmes on fatigue when we all know that Mark Benjamin himself was asleep at the time.
Fatigued? Tired? Bonkers? Tricky .....v funny though. Thanks to ALL of you witty people. I love reading all of this nonsense, especially knowing that all of you have so much knowledge. I'm in awe!
Great laugh to end the day, even if it stopped me getting an early night [no I'm not a slow reader, just once you get on the site it makes compulsive reading and one thing - as they say leads to another] Many thanks it was worth it !
Rumours have spread to central Europe where the ex member of this forum PeTee70 was eliminated by some unknown alien being whom it was thought had some inside information about this scam. He miraculously managed to return as Pastit and is currently having a short break in Austria. It is claimed that he was seen at the Musikverein in Vienna.
Good Morning .markbenjamin57.. l like your names of Polymalingerers and Steroid Junkies .I struggle with your sense of humour sometimes and go back to your posts through the day depending if pain allows and Brain Fog let's me see the real point to the posts and then l have a giggle to myself..l have just spent weeks in tears with pain and the fact that I have got this horrible PMR and other obstacles with it. Relentlessly I have given in and gone up an extra 1and a half mgs of steroid for the last 2 days and my pain is better. I seem to be fighting my Demons all the time who keep pushing me to do more . It's Always nice to know that there is so much support on this Forum and that Alone helps me fight on . Onwards and Upwards and l will try and keep Negativity at bay. From this PMR Auntie ..trish29
Hello marbenjam57..l feel now after 13 yrs that l can only take so much,but one thing after the other keeps appearing...l fight all l can and smile as much as possible..knowing others are going through as much or more than me keeps me telling myself,maybe l day there will be light at the end pf the tunnel.
Yep, trish, I'm sure that a philosophy of 'You are Not Alone' helps in all of this. You might need to give-in sometimes, but Never give up on Yourself..?
Hi again MJB. I try not to give up on myself but a lot of the time l feel so inadequate..l had a fairly good day today.l managed to get to Library and Lunch out but l have been exhausted for the rest of the day.Best wishes to u
Dear Trish, WHAT MORE DO YOU EXPECT with PMR?!!! (only joking...).
But, seriously: you have no need to feel 'inadequate', so don't beat yourself up for struggling energy-wise with what is a chronic, debilitating auto-immune illness. Take it from me - I've been there and got the T-shirt..
Maybe have a closer look on this forum about the 'Spoons' theory and 'Pacing'? There are some tabs / topics on the RHS to guide you in the process. 'Fatigue' is one of them - I'm sure you'll find it helpful
I have just completed a 4 day holiday in Vienna with my OH, my brother and his wife. Despite me telling them how difficult PMR is to live with, they just can't understand why I can't keep up with the sight seeing as I am finding the fatigue is really slowing me down. I think one has to experience it to understand it.
Hello Pastit. l know how you feel and hope you managed to enjoy some of your holiday .l have just had a week away with my Partner Pete at a Lovely River Lodge in Stratford -on -Avon where we go most years so Pete can do some fishing. It was very hard to get out and about this year but l loved the Wildlife as always. I know how to pace myself but it doesn't Always work out that way.The exhaustion is the hard part and at the moment l have pain in my upper arms and shoulders and under left armpit so it takes longer than usual to get going and most of the time l feel like l am in a straight jacket and unable to get on my mobility scooter..l am under my GP for this and this morning l am back to my Bowen Therapist for some gentle massage and Therapy. Because l have had PMR for a long time l feel that my family feel that l should be over it by now but it doesn't work that way . Thank you for answering my reply and l hope things improve for you ..Best wishes trish29
Thank you for your story trish29. Yes I had a great time thank you. On one of the visits I had to let the others go on alone while I rested on a bench until they returned. We had already walked around Schonbrunn palace and I felt completely done in 😟 but really interesting and well worth the visit ☺️
No, it was the Mark Fakir who is really an Auntie.................who came from a heap in lightest Africa as s/he and the Fakirs needed to escape the Antie-eaters who had found the Polywhotsit and Giantthingy's positively delectable after they had ingested their daily doses of the finest medication ever invented.
Big pharma are now mounting a rearguard action to ensure that the antie-eaters make no more inroads as they have realised removing the P and G's because of their ingestion of this delectable concoction is not in their best interests. They are mounting a two pronged attack as the persistence of the the awkward squad in denying people this finest medication is eating into their profit margins and must be ceased forthwith.
They have also ensured that the non-fake Aunties are moved into a safe location (near a town named Remission) until the real Mark appears to haunt us once again ...........
But did the investigators consider the Schrödinger's theory whereby said "Aunty in Italy" can manifest multiple times anywhere, better get the top scientists on to this
Your post read in front of my SAD lamp, sunlight and laughter, perfect start to the day. Keep it up old chap! xxx
Having just returned from my Yoga and Gin sojourn with my trusted and loyal companion Elvis - whom I can assure you is no Myth, he is definitely a Mythster is all senses - I am appalled at the so called investigation undertaken by INTERLOP
Having spoken via the interthingy to my esteemed and learned mentor the Contessa de PolyMolyResistanceFighter, I have to advise she is incandescent with rage (not a pretty sight) with the news that, whilst away reviewing her vast southern estate, her northern premises have been subjected to an investigative team of no-good busybodies.
The "fake aunties factory" referred to to is no such thing. It is in fact a studio set up to produce replica life-size automotive models of the venerated lady herself, which she intends to send to her numerous followers of her web site - kicktheassoutofpmr.com. These poor souls will be able to win said models if they can truthfully answer the 3 following questions -
a. Did your GP recognise and diagnose your symptoms on your first visit?,
b. Did you successfully achieve your goal in reaching zero Pred within the 2 year limit set by medical staff, without a flare? and
c. Did you get through your journey with PMR without anyone saying " but you look so well!" ?
If they cannot answer all three positively then a suitable bottle of bubbly wrapped in a 50Euro bill may get a positive response! Details on the aforementioned web site.
For your information the revered Contessa has graciously allowed a few of her trusted acolytes to act as her spokespeople when she is indisposed (too much of the sparkling stuff - hic) and they may be seen in other parts of the world - but they are not fake - she would never condone that! But of course, to maintain such adoration they must remain anonymous.
As special dispensation has been granted for me to reveal my true self, I did consider inviting yourself, Marcus Bumblechuck and that journalist chappie (whom I believe to be responsible for these malicious rumours) down to my humble abode in deepest, darkest Dorset, but on reflection and discussion with my faithful Hound Dog decided against it. One's standing cannot be blemished by associating oneself with the common riffraff of investigative journalism.
So I have to warn you that should they, or any other paparazzi be seen on my property then I shall have no option but to break out the dear old Colonel's trusted blunderbuss one more time and use it with my usual panache. I may only have one good eye, but I can still hit barn door at 40 paces, but a bit more practice is always welcome, one has to get one's sport when and where one can nowadays - blasted health and safety people are such spoilsports don't you find, what.
Must be orff now, Elvis has just put the chip pan on, and he does get carried away rather, but certainly not as far as Manchester - much too cold for his Southern roots. He says "Hi yawl, uhuh"
Ah but I haven 't written telling how to spot fake ladies from Dorset yet! Maybe real ones have to be able to run up Gold Hill (in spite of pmr) be able to spot a fossil on the beach at one hundred paces. The list goes on! Oh and Of course the ability to read Tolstoy in Russian
Rumour has it that a certain Lady from Dorset is in fact a double agent. Tony French mentioned it to me in passing. BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE - or we're ALL in trouble
Ahhh Hovis..... Gold Hill might look picturesque - but as a Kirsty McCall song goes .."not in these shoes!....."
As for spotting fossils on the beach, have you been to Dorset this time of year .....it's full of 'em! Just try getting a Cappuccino in your favourite coffee house. "Oo er I don't want one of them new fangled drinks, I want a nice cup of tea?"
You are all batty, must be the myraid of meds offered and taken.
So I therefore respectfully suggest that you all change to apothecaries and doctors of the Middle Ages and dump all Meds with the exception pred and just take:
During the Middle Ages, making elixirs of life or fruit brandies was the responsibility of apothecaries and doctors. Because fruit brandies (aqua vitae), as its Latin name suggests, was a drug widely used in Arabo-Persian medicine, and then spread across the Mediterranean. The first to leave a paper trail of the technique of distilling alcohol and fruit brandies in Christian Europe were the Catalan theologian and physician Arnaldus de Villa Nova and a Franciscan monk who later became a cardinal, Vital Dufour. The latter wrote, circa 1310, a book of medicine that was found in the Vatican library and described the virtues of "burning water" (aygardent) which would later be called Armagnac.
Then sense might return and my shares will increase.
Yes, I am fine but I also know I am batty..................and you lot will never know how much I needed this thread the last few days.............keep smiling.
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Try to keep smiling in between the tough bits, you'll get there 
