Dear You Lot - The Secret is OUT!
In an ever-confusing world of Fake News and Scams of all kinds, I can now reveal an Exclusive Story from my close friend and Undercover Media Contact, Tony French, about some new and disturbing developments in the murky world of Social Health forums.
Here’s Tony’s Exclusive Report in-full:
In ongoing investigations by INTERLOP codenamed Operation ‘Brain Frog’, Undercover Agents recently conducted dawn-raids on several addresses at a remote location in rural Italy. Subtly disguised as shuffling, grumpy, pill-swallowing ‘Polymalingerers and Pred Junkies’, the BF Team closed-in on, and uncovered a secret factory which is believed to be manufacturing up to 200 Fake PMR ‘Aunties’ on a monthly basis.
The Original, highly respected and authentic PMR ‘Aunty’ - known by her distinctive Avatar on a leading Social Health Forum - is believed to be the Genuine Article. However, counterfeit PMR ‘Aunties’, who bear an astonishingly accurate resemblance to the original version, are now being distributed via a sophisticated network of Posts and Replies on numerous other Internet Social Health Forums. Experts estimate that these fake PMR ‘Aunties’ are now being packaged and exported to new and expanding markets including the USA, Mainland Europe, Australia, and New Zealand.
The tip-off for Operation ‘Brain Frog’ came from a vigilant member of the PMR Community who noticed that the genuine PMR ‘Aunty’ appeared to reply, simultaneously, to 27 Members’ often anguished Posts about a variety of distressing (and sometimes embarrassing) symptoms and experiences of PMR - all within 30 seconds of one another. Experts in Mass Social Media Communication consider this to be statistically impossible to achieve by one person alone: and, therefore, it is highly likely to support the theory that some, if not many of the PMR ‘Aunties’ in question are Imposters - despite all of the responses being of an equally high quality.
One Insider-Expert likened this disturbing PAP (Parallel Appearance Phenomenon) to similar accounts in the popular media in 1979 when the famous (but deceased) Rock and Roll Legend, Elvis Presley, was reported to appear simultaneously in 27 locations around the globe, including The Champs Elysees (France), The Grand Canyon (USA) , The Taj Mahal (India), and a Fish and Chip shop in Manchester (UK).
Operation ’Brain Fog’ Senior Investigator, Marcus Chucklebum, told me: “This is a sophisticated and cynical, potentially Criminal Enterprise which exploits the emotional vulnerabilities of PMR sufferers who are not being taken seriously by their Doctors, just to make them feel ‘good’ again - whether by legitimate means or otherwise”.
He continued: “It would appear that the 200-strong workforce at the Fake (allegedly) ‘PMR Aunty’ factory have been working around-the-clock for the past 8 years to exploit this ever-expanding market - and have capitalised on the impassioned demands from PMR Sufferers who are desperate for any kind of advice or support around this distressing health condition, and who have no other place to go to for support and advice. Many of the ‘Workers’ at the factory appear to be PMR Sufferers too, so it’s a Double Whammy for the Fake PMR Aunty Syndicate - and its staff“.
The International PMR ‘Aunty’ Scam is believed to be aided and supported by a network of Accomplices including a certain ‘Lady’ from the South West of the UK (a known Elvis-Myth perpetrator) and a notoriously elusive man simply known as ’MB57’ who, reportedly, only ever responds to the commands ‘Oi, You!’, ‘Four Eyes’, ‘Uncle Bonkers’ and ‘Swivel Hips’.
Investigations are continuing around MB57’s true identity and whereabouts - but Intelligence Experts believe that he resides behind a sofa in heavily guarded Mansion somewhere in a sleepy seaside town in the UK, protected by a fierce and dangerous Bodyguard known as ‘Teddy’. Members of the Public in the UK (or anywhere in the world, for that matter) are advised not to approach either MB57 or Teddy since any encounter with them could result in a serious outbreak of uncontrollable Mirth requiring urgent medical attention and a nice cup of tea to ‘calm them down’.
Mr Chucklebum concluded: “Choosing a PMR ‘Aunty’ is a bit like buying tyres for your car. The cheaper and quicker option might seem more attractive: but, in the end, the Premium Brand is always best - even if you have to pay a bit more and wait longer. Also, don’t be fooled by the likes of PMR ‘Uncles’ such as MB57 - who are also muscling-in on the PMR Action. We at INTERLOP know who you are, and where you are…".
(End of Special Report from Tony French).
Well, my trusty PMR / GCA Amigos, that’s the latest PMR Bombshell. Look after yourselves, sleep well, and don’t have Nightmares… 
MB :-)
Try to keep smiling in between the tough bits, you'll get there 
