Well, as if John Wayne, Professor Unley Stanwin and Janet and John aren't enough, some of (the more reckless amongst?) you are still asking for more. Haven't you all got something better to do?! As the ancient Chinese proverb goes: 'Be careful what you wish for..'
So, here goes. I decided to parody a few of the more juicy 'extracts' from the forum covering some initial posts around key themes over the months and years.
To protect the innocent, this comes with the usual disclaimer that all avatars, characters, descriptions of health conditions, suggested remedies, and anything else posted here is entirely fictitious and not intended to bear any resemblance to real people - whether living, dead, or cryogenically preserved in Marmite. For better or worse (probably worse), it's all a product of my questionably sound (after 2 years on the Preds) mind and imagination. Who knows, even I might be fictitious? Anyway, that's what my lawyers told me to say and I'm sticking to it...
On Rheumatologists...
Nicekaren28:
"Hello to all here, you lovely people! Help Please? I had an appointment with my lovely new Rheumy today (he’s sooooo young and gorgeous!). He said I don’t have PMR but something else that’s 'mega' complicated with a name that even he can’t pronounce. But he’s very nice and I trust him even though I can’t understand what he’s saying most of the time (he talks very quickly and in ‘rapper’ style - like lots of young guys do nowadays). I’d rather I had PMR than the other thing but I don’t want to upset him as to be honest I quite fancy him. He’s such a Hunk and I’m like: ‘He’s Awesome!’. What should I do?!!!!! Anyone want a nice cup of tea..? By the way I am 82 next month but I'm like 'cool' about it. ‘Seeya’!"
On Medication..
Notmadreally23:
"HOW DO I RELEASE THE CAPS LOCK ON MY KEYBOARD?!! IT’S DRIVING ME EVEN MADDER THAN THE PRM! AND HAS ANYONE SEEN MY DREP TABLETS?! I PUT THEM DOWN JUST NOW AND CAN’T FIND THEM! IT’S SO MADDENING! IF I DON’T TAKE THEM IN 5 MINS I THINK I WILL EXPLODE!!! BUT I’M NOT MAD REALLY (WELL MAYBE JUST A LITTLE BIT)!!!!"
On steroid tapering...
Pillsplitterprof17:
"Has anyone here reached the magic 17.00000 (to 5 decimal places, corrected) mg preds threshold and had difficulty in getting below this? I am a professor in micro-science and have calculated that, by using a sub-atomic particle splitter (borrowed from my Ph.D teaching work at Bristol University), I can taper by 0.000000002 mg every 6 minutes to reach my goal of 17.4 mg per day by 07.00 hours on 19th June 2032 (GMT). Although this means I will never get more than 5 kilos and 45 grams of sleep for the next 15 years, 4 miles, 2 metres and 15 pints (+/- 2%), I think it’s worth it to stay on track. What do the experts here think from a scientific perspective? My main concern is that I may have exaggerated my margin of error by a few acres. Excuse the hurried query, I've been under a (xxlotxx) bit of pressure at work recently and my wife has just left me. Responses by spreadsheet only please. Oh, s*d it, someone just tell me what to do - anyone out there fancy another beer.. hic. :-/"
On PMR....
GlumdavefromHull:
"IMHO, PMR is all BS. As a retired SAS veteran and MOD security guard, daily self-flagellation, a high VIT D diet, 20/20 vision and 200 push-ups per day
are DEFO the way to KO PMR or anything else in life 100% ASAP. FYI, it worked for me at the front line of hostilities in the UK when I was CO GRADE 6 with the G4S OSC (outside-catering division). Those posh GPs with their white coats and DXs are a total WOT - OMG!!!! Get a proper 9-5 job like I did LOL. 10.4. OK? BFN… :-/"
On Alternative Remedies...
Inthecloudsbutlovingit65:
"Hiya all, and may Destiny be your Spiritual Guide today! Has anyone here tried taking distilled extract of the wild Venezualan Artichoke plant to relieve their suffering? I saw on the internet that I can get it from ‘wecanhealanythingforenoughcash.com’ (some nice folks in California) for 300$ per 1mg capsule. By the way, I don’t have PMR or GCA - or anything else wrong with me really. I just wanted to be a part of a community. It’s lonely where I live now all my friends have moved away. My pain is more spiritual than physical. ‘Love Yourself and the World is Yours’ - that’s my mantra!’ p.s. anyone here got 300 bucks to spare? Divine thanks XXXXXXXXXXXXXX"
On Newbies...
Beetleface69:
"Just wanted to introduce myself Im beetleface69 don’t have anything to write about myself just a bit bored waiting for a bus just thought Id let you know bye."
On Medication and Side Effects...
Sillyorwhat:
"Am I being silly or what? I’ve got my methatroxilate mixed up with my prednosaline and for good measure took a double dose of co-dipthopharmasyl straight after my thyroxitrone (which I usually take an hour later with a teaspoonful of ground bi-trycilitrate). Actually, I feel perfectly fine after this. But could this result in me suffering from methotroxidodipthopharmathyrobitrylacticalidisone overdose symptoms - or am I just making things up in my mind? Silly or what?!! Love and kisses… (heart emoji)"
Footnote (not another post..!):
'Laugh in company and the world will laugh with you. Laugh alone and it's probably time to see a shrink (only joking...)
Happy Days All
MB