It’s been a while since I’ve been on here, life has a funny habit of getting in the way!
What can I say, I went for my rheumatologist appointment. Apparently I’ve also got fibromyalgia - I’m not convinced. I think it’s generally an umbrella term for “you’re in pain and we don’t know why”. They sent me for 3 A4 sheets worth of blood tests, all fine, no arthritis, they seem to have ruled out a number of things, but I’m sure there’re so many things in the world with such similar symptoms that it scares me thinking it could just be something unknown. I’m still taking vitamin D supplements, using my B12 patches and going for injections, as well as being prescribed Amitriptyline to help with deep sleep and muscle repair. A lot of days I honestly feel worse than I ever have before, I using a walking stick far too often for an 18 year old, I’ve had to quit my job, my relationship is balancing on thin ice because of my mood, and as much as I try to stay positive I am really struggling in my head right now.
It really feels sometimes that the outside world doesn’t see how hard I’m trying every day to be a “functional” human being.
I know my next step needs to be seeing an OT, I’m lucky enough to have friends with experience in this kind of thing, but to me it feels almost like giving up the fight and just accepting that I’m going to have to live off ESA all my life, and I’m not going to be able to do a lot of the things I want to do - I think that’s what I’m struggling with the most, it’s such a daunting thought and it’s making it very hard to start the whole process and make that very simple call to my GP.
Anyone with any advice or opinions on how to deal with this long term, as it currently seems I’m going to have to, I would be so grateful to hear it