How to tell people you don’t always have energy. Especially when you’re inviting them to visit 🦋

[Flutterbyca]

How to tell people you don’t always have energy. I live in the mountains in Southern California. It’s beautiful up here and I like to invite people up to enjoy the surroundings and the peace and quiet . This Is My Question. What is a good way to tell people I invite to my mountain home that I run out of steam throughout the day and especially at night so I have difficulty providing meals and being available all the time throughout the day. I don’t want to stop inviting people as it makes me happy to see others enjoying my home and surrounding area. Any thoughts?

[Bananas5]

Read this link...it is widely used among those with chronic pain to explain to friends....

webmd.com/multiple-sclerosi...

[Flutterbyca in reply to Bananas5]

Thank you

[Hidden]

Hi, what if when you invite your nearest and dearest to ask if everyone to bring somethingfor the event that way everybody is involved and your load is lightened and those around may notice that sometimes you need that bit of extra help xx p.s I'm in UK so sorry if your resting xx

[cyberbarn]

What about doing a schedule for them, so that you all know where you stand. Or sit and rest! If you do a schedule that has things like 'I will be resting, you can do X or Y' or Lunch preparation: I will be resting but guests can set the table and lay out the condiments and cut the veggies for the salad', or 'free time: guests may wish to walk the trail down to town to buy the newspapers.'

That way people know in advance what to expect, and how much free time they will get to enjoy the surroundings, and shouldn't feel put out because you have still put some effort into hosting for them.

[Flutterbyca in reply to cyberbarn]

Excellent suggestions. Thank you so much

[Barbola]

I understand completely.....i have big house, pool, woods and my family and friends love to visit and i enjoy their visits. But when im in pain or on low energy i tell them beforehand how happy i am for them to come and cheer me up (or i invite them with „i would like to spend time with you only i will need help with......) and that i will do whatever i can but i also need help preparing the meals at times, everyone understands. Its enough work to do the guest rooms, bedding, laundry etc. My family and friends will understand and if not, ( never happened yet) they can stay home!

[Flutterbyca in reply to Barbola]

Thank you so much

[Joanne1972]

I live by the sea and my family are all in the countryside so they often come to me for a week at a time for a holiday. I have m.e and fibromyalgia so have a lot of fatigue. When they first arrive I usually show them every room, making sure they see how lovely and clean and tidy it is, then I say something like 'right so you've all seen it can look tidy. Means I don't have to keep tidying up around them whilst they are visiting as they've already witnessed it looking nice. Making it a bit of a joke. I also let them know I can prepare one meal a day so if they can take care of breakfast and lunch I'll do a nice home cooked dinner.

I liked cyber barns idea of having things your visitors can do whilst you are having a rest. My sister used to take my niece and nephew to the local park for a while to let me get a bit of quiet. I found to much kids chatter very tiring after a while. I never had kids so am used to a quiet home.

Maybe you can have one person out of each group of visitors who understands your need for rest really well, could you have them as a kind of wingman/woman. So you can signal to them if you need to go for a rest. Someone who can kind of take over your role for a while. Then you not having to think of reasons or excuses to every visitor...just the one who can help you out

and give yourself some time to recover after your visitors have gone, I know it's nice to tidy up and get your home back to being peaceful and tranquil again but the laundry can wait a while so you can regain some energy

You live by the mountains...how lovely, I always find mountains very spiritual.

Jo

[Flutterbyca in reply to Joanne1972]

Thank you Joanne Your ideas are very helpful. Take care. Nona