My low back pain rules every aspect of my life, in fact, when I think about it, I don't have a life, so maybe I'm denying my low back pain the opportunity to rule my life.
I recently had facet medial block injections, which didn't work for me, and I was discharged from the pain clinic. I also had a CBT assessment, whereby the psychotherapist nurse said I was probably the most pro-active patient he had ever seen in an assessment in his whole career, which resulted in me being deemed a non suitable candidate for their programme.
I try to sort things out myself. Self help for me has become an obsession, I really am obsessed with this chronic pain thing, but I hit BRICK WALLS every where I go. I do yoga, I visit a chiropractor, I do physio, I have an ultrasound machine, I have a TENS machine, I've had acupuncture, I've been hypnotised, I've had counselling therapy, I go to the hydro-pool, I meditate, I practice mindfulness . . . . . .BRICK WALLS everywhere!
Pain wins every time. I constantly fail and succumb to being crippled, not being able to stand tall, not being able to sleep, and not being able to control my emotions in the workplace.
I work in a macho environment, and it's slightly awkward when a grown man is reduced to tears due to pain spasms. It's horrendous. Then I watch TV, and a vet operates on a dogs spine and gives the dog a new lease of life, and in another programme a GP reduces patients medication and sends her to kung-fu, and she seems to get better.
So my point is, things are happening for other people, and even animals, yet I am stuck with what I've got. I've accepted that it is what it is, but surely there must be an avenue for me to go down. Have I really hit a BRICK WALL? Is this it?