A home visit, for David, from the CPN last wek proved very successful. She wanted to meet him in his home patch which meant she would like to meet me too. Beetroot chutney making ha already been planned for my morning s he was greeted by a rather blood red me. She never flinched. She laughed though when the hens appeared as 'someone' had left the dor open. Wel she wanted to meet us all!
Easy to talk with I left David in hr capable hands returning only when my input was asked for.
David was honest with her - mostly - although hedid play down many symptoms and actions. And of corsethe pain wasunder control. A survival techniques we all have so as not to stand out and be different from the pack. Stand out and you show you are vulnerable to predadtors. I tried not to correct him and let him use his own words but when he was clearly strugging to getthose words right she asked him if it would be OK tolet me help.
Anyway big dos and litle dos, chutney finished, hens shooed ack out and she came to the 'good' news. NHS Lanarkshire runs 8 week course fr people such as David and so happens one course was starting this week and she could offer him a place. My heart sank as he is not good ingroup therapy and I knew whathe would say. Wrong. He said OK would give it a try. I was so proud of him and wanted to cry. he is trying so hard and wants to get better - or as better as any chronic pain member can. Meeting us all half way rather than expecting another pill or magic wand can only be a YES.
Off he went tuesday having been collected by mini bus retrnig over 2 hours later almost falling over his words to tell me. Just hiself and 3 others on the curse with 2 members of staff and a trainee. Yup almost one to one. The other 3 gentlemen has all grown up in a neighbouring village, moved away and lost contact. How extraordinary that they should meet again under these circumstances? So lots of 'do you remembers'.
Being the first meet it was mainl about introductions and why they were in 'low mood'. David was the only one with CP although 2 others did have pain of lesser degrees. Next week will be about medication. Like most CP members David has an ology in those! We are away so will miss out but he has firm plans to continue on our return.
As a carer it was a strange feeling being here on my own for those few hours. A feeling of guilt, shared by most carers, that somehow you have pushed that other person out. Sort of dumped them on to someone else. Funny cos al the things I could have done and i did none. Just worried he wouldbe OK. Would they understand when he said one thing and meant something different? Would he be home in 10mins having walked out? I know these are felt by carers and it rarely happens that staff aren't wonderful but there is still that what if?
Interestingly the CPN when she was here did say that they have found very small groups works wel. No one can sit in a corner and be ignored. They have a set list of topics they cover and success rate is high.
Thank you NHS lanarkshire Thank you CPN. But most of all thank you David..
Pat x
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What good good news Pat. For both of you. Maybe David does do groups but only the right ones. I'm hoping that when I eventually get on a similar course it will be as successful for me. Have a good day
Just a quick reply Paton, that is brilliant news for you and David. I agree too that small groups work much better in my experience so good of the CPN. Now I fancy a bit of that home made beetroot chutney if you can email some Beetroot is very good for you, I buy one that Baxter's make quite tasty but not home made. My hubby used to make a mean tomato chutney and I was the jam specialist with the fruit from the garden and allotments in our younger days. Enjoy the me time you get when David goes for his me time at the group, and have a good day today. Speak again soon I am off to a music concert at the theatre today 50's and 60's music. Bye for now xx
Would if I had a car, the show was good the artists were very versatile. Plus some comedy thrown in. Sorry you could not go with us maybe another time x
Hi Pat,Not much to add,but it couldn't happen to a better person. About time Lady Luck came your way. And once again a bit of humer in there with the chickens. I'm really pleased for you both,I hope life gets a little easier for you both. Norma.
Don't feel guilty it is good for David and you Pat it gets him out and it sounds like he enjoyed going and gave you a break to recharge your batteries so to speak. Good luck and i wish you all the best. Poohbear'
That's great news for both of u, give David my best wishes
Sorry for late reply Pat, I am SO thrilled to read your post. I hope you soon settle in to your time out and have some really restorative breaks while David is at his group.
Richly deserved for both of you, big smiles here on your behalf
I didn't reply yesterday as exciting stuff going on in my world - my cousin ( in Canada unfortunately ) was delivered of identical girl triplets!!!! My how their lives changed in a very few moments! I managed to get to their wedding 2 years ago, can't see myself managing the journey now but never say never.
For now I'm just full of gratitude and joy that all were delivered well, breathing on their own and really good weights for 34 week triplets - 4.11, 4,7, 3.11
What a blessing, it's really cheered me.
Thinking of you Pat and David with a real sense of gratitude for the services you have manged to access up there. I'm sure they are so wonderful with you because of how you treat them - as I said, richly deserved.
So pleased for you Pat. As previously said, I hope you can start to relax and recharge with the time out you get as you really deserve it. You sound like a lovely, strong, courageous woman who deserves a break ... And more. I hope this also serves to lift your David's spirits. Good positive news for you at last.
YAY! That's fabulous news! Well done to a brave David for taking the plunge out of his comfort zone, and I can't tell you how pleased I am to hear you are getting a bit of "me time". It will do so much good for BOTH of you. I run a group for people with mild to moderate dementia, and although I allow carers to accompany their loved ones if they wish to, I encourage them to savour the freedom for a couple of hours as it has all sorts of benefits on their relationships. They all tell me it feels very odd at first, even feeling guilty, but I advise that those few hours of regular freedom prevent burnout and promote good health and happiness, especially if the time is used to pamper and do normal stuff such as coffee with friends, an exercise or hobby class, or a beauty session at the salon. It's therapy from all angles so go you! And what is really marvellous is David is not feeling on his own, and has mates he can share with. Oh this has really made me smile today, thank you for sharing such positive news. xx
Oh Pat this does sound wonderful. A huge step for David. So glad to hear that the Big Man stepped forward. I know what a effort that must have taken him.
Glad David agreed to give the group a try, hope he finds some benefit by going. I hope you enjoy your well earned free time.
I know it's so very hard to stay positive and keep your temper under control when you're in constant pain, but sufferers really need to think of those closest to them; because they suffer too.
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xx
Not a good day with my pain
