new to group

[Lanie2024]

Hello, I’m new to the community. My wife was diagnosed March 23 with stage 4b OC. surgery right away six rounds of chemo and just about to complete her 24 cycles of Avastin. We are scared of death of the lack of a parachute. I’m sure this is a common concern. Not just a physical, but this mental aspect of all this is so so difficult.

[Alpacalama]

Hi there, sorry to hear you’ve joined the ‘club’

We all understand how you feel having been there. Tough to start with, especially mentally as all the focus is physical treatment. I was diagnosed stage 4b HGSOC Oct 21 chemo, surgery, more chemo. Finished Avastin and Olaparip Mar 23. I was offered counselling for 6 wks summer 23. Still a bit of mess mentally for another year then after my scan in July24 and still NED something clicked that I was still here and needed to get on with life.

It never leaves you, the gun to back of head feeling but you learn to ignore or live with it. I think it’s like grief, we all react differently and the time scale involved is different for everyone. This site is great for giving everyone hope and a positive boost.

I hope you BOTH get the help needed. Recently my husband admitted to a friend he should have asked for help and counselling. He was my rock and I would never have thought he would accept counselling but I realise now he should have been included too. The strain on the supporting partner is great, don’t be afraid to talk and ask for help. X

[Lanie2024 in reply to Alpacalama]

Thanks for your input. Both my wife and I are in therapy individually and as a couple, so again getting help in important and meaningful. Just seems we are on this train that will never stop!

Thanks for your reply!

[Katmal-UK]

Ask for counselling, you won’t regret it. Not something I thought was for me but believe me it helps immensely x

[delia2]

As others have said, the anxiety is the worst part of this. I had chemo for my second recurrence last spring and I noticed that I felt calmer once it happened! How ironic! I’ve finally gone on an antidepressant, something I never thought I’d need., but it’s helping a lot. It’s been six years now and I never expected to live this long. Now the hard part is accepting the continuing need for treatments, of which there are many coming down the line. One day at a time!!! Hang in there and try to enjoy the time without treatment.

[Lanie2024 in reply to delia2]

Thanks for your input. Continuing life with constant treatments is the scary part as well. Good luck to you !!

[Leniko]

its terrifying when you first hear the diagnosis. I was diagnosed in 2008, and had an TAH and 6 cycles of Carbo taxol. I have had two recurrences over the past 17 years, which were treated with chemo, radiation, immunotherapy, and Avastin. Avastin kept me in remission for many years, with few side effects. They now have so many treatments available, which can extend survival for many of us. Best of luck!

[OvacomeSupport Partner My Ovacome Team]

Hello Lanie2024

Thank you for your post. I'm sorry to hear how scared you and your wife are feeling. You've already had many supportive replies from our members. I just wanted to add that as a partner of someone with a diagnosis of ovarian cancer, you can access our support services, including our friends and family support group which meets once a month online.

The support team are here Monday-Friday 10am-5pm on 0800 008 7054 if you need any information or want to talk anything through. We can also schedule a call with you at a convenient time or book in a videocall if you prefer.

You can also direct message us through this forum at OvacomeSupport, email [e-mail], or text/WhatsApp us on 07503 682 311. There is also instant chat through our website ovacome.org.uk

There are details of our friends and family group on our website here: ovacome.org.uk/Event/family... You can join the mailing list for a monthly reminder, and book a place each month as you prefer.

If there's anything at all we can help with, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us.

Best wishes

Anna

Ovacome Support

[Lanie2024]

Thanks Anna!

[Motiva]

Hello Laine,

Your wife shares my diagnosis date of March 23. It has been a big, difficult and undesirable road to navigate. This group and Ovacome have been very supportive for me.

As has already been said counselling is so beneficial. I had it immediately and then when I started the maintenance phase of Avastin/Olaparib. The latter sessions were mainly how to manage the other parts of my life which just continue as normal- ageing parents etc.

The value of someone to off load to that has no personal only a Professional interest in you removed the need I felt of protecting them or trying not to be too dramatic- of course it is dramatic but there is still a desire to down play it especially after the initial treatments when you want to establish a new normal with your friends and enjoy the trivialities of other people’s lives - son returned home and won’t tidy his bedroom, a distraction from ‘the gun at your head’. Rather unbelievably from when it first started it has become less controlling and you can resume a new normal, with the fear mainly kept under control.

Your wife is so fortunate to have you as a support and you are so wise to seek out independant support too.

Take care,

F x