I am terminal: Dearest, Yesterday during a... - My Ovacome

My Ovacome

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I am terminal

Pumpkininja profile image
17 Replies

Dearest,

Yesterday during a consultation was told that I have 1 in 10 chances of the chemo be able to get rid of my cancer.Is in my tummy.Extremly painful, causing obstruction of the intestines.

The word used was :"you are terminal".They don't know how long I have.

I will still try next week one more chemotherapy Gemz but I don't know if im giving myself fake hopes and just destroying what I've rest of this body, after 6 months of Caelyx/ carbo....

I cannot eat, get bloated because the cancer is causing obstruction in my intestines.

I know this is very difficult to ask however any recommendation/ advise would be greatly appreciated.If any please 🙏🏼

I'm in shock not able to think. My husband the same.

Thank you everyone for all your support during this last months.

Big hug and wish you the Best for all of you.

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Pumpkininja profile image
Pumpkininja
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17 Replies
Lyndy profile image
Lyndy

Hello Pumpkininja, sending you a gentle hug. A lovely lady I met in hospital last week told me that she had decided against further treatment. She was very dignified and content, didn’t want to spend her last weeks being rushed into hospital.

She gave me hope. It made me think about what I do want at the end. I am frightened of pain and my poor failing body but I am not worried about being dead.

So symptom control becomes the more important thing to get right.

We have all dealt with so many shocks that this disease throws at us. I find giving myself time to sit with the latest thing helps me to centre myself and to know what I need/want.

Although I hate doing it, I have also found that telling people allows them to offer help and support. If you have hospice care in Belgium then definitely recommend.

It may seem a weird thing to say but, death being on of life’s big occasions, I am hoping for something creative and meaningful even at the end xx

Pumpkininja profile image
Pumpkininja in reply to Lyndy

Thank you so much dear 😘

Pumpkininja profile image
Pumpkininja in reply to Lyndy

It really help me your advise

Bistoboy profile image
Bistoboy in reply to Lyndy

Well said Lyndy , I feel the same

Pumpkininja profile image
Pumpkininja in reply to Bistoboy

Thank you so much in your precious advises in such sensitive and difficult topic.I'm going to be totally honest , I cannot think clearly... neither my husband.we we were not expecting... we are truly in shock.

Morini profile image
Morini

I listened to a nurse talk about quality over quantity of life which resonated with me. My approach has been to try a treatment and to weigh up the side effects that I personally experience in the decision to continue or not. Sending hugs x

Pumpkininja profile image
Pumpkininja in reply to Morini

Dear Morini indeed.Thank you so much.Xxx

Cardiff05 profile image
Cardiff05

I wonder if it would help to discuss your situation with someone who may be able to offer some further information and clarity.Although I'm in the UK I follow the anti Cancer fund which is an Belgian organisation involved in research.

I've found there website very informative and helpful and I understand that they do offer an telephone information/support service.

Brusselsesteenweg 11

1860 Meise

+32 (0)2 268 48 16

Wish you well

Pumpkininja profile image
Pumpkininja in reply to Cardiff05

Oh thank you so much! I will call them this week. Really thank you🙏🏼Xxx

Lilyada profile image
Lilyada

oh Pumpkininja - words none of us want to hear. As she always does, Lyndy has put into words what I am unable to express so well. Sending you much love and hugs. Good luck with that call tomorrow.

Angela xx

Trickysite profile image
Trickysite

Dear Pumpkininja, Please do get a second opinion from another specialist. My good wishes to you. Love, Emma xx

SopSinger profile image
SopSinger

If you're both in shock, let it sit for a few days, then sit down with your husband and discuss what you most want to happen (or not happen) for the time you have left. This is when you get to be selfish! If you want to keep trying chemo, that's fine, but if you don't, that's also fine. If you have hospice in Belgium, contact them sooner than later - they are not just about dying but about making the most of your time, and they will care for your family too. Sending hugs!

candyapplegrey profile image
candyapplegrey

Hello Pumpkin,

So sorry to hear this. I understand what everyone's saying re quality of life. You certainly don't want to continue with unmanageable pain. Can you ask for a second opinion? Maybe you have already.

What about trials?

Heard on Ovacome Day from a woman who was told her tumour was inoperable but one surgeon was willing to operate and she is alive 8 years later. But I get that you might not want another op.

I wouldn't have any more chemo either if it isn't working.

Also there are alternative remedies. Always check with your oncologist before using something they haven't prescribed. This is from another post of mine that I have copied in.

'I am dealing with the second recurrence and looking at third line treatment.

And wondering why my cancer (clear cell and endometrioid) stayed away for nearly three years after my first recurrence.

I tried a whole regime of vitamins, CBD and so on but eventually, there were too many for me to manage and I ended up with just fenbendazole and melatonin.

Then I realised that over the last few months, I had stopped taking melatonin altogether and had gradually been reducing the fenben to almost nothing. I took my eyes off the cancer. I started to believe that, after a series of clear scans, I was actually in the clear.'

Anyway, so now I am back on melatonin and fenben and hoping for a good response. I have also heard about another treatment that works better with normal OC but not clear cell.

But, even if you choose not to take anything, surely the very least you could hope for was something to manage the pain.

Anyway, you will be in my prayers and I send hugs. xx

AuntyOrange profile image
AuntyOrange

My heart aches for you & your husband. I think we all have the fear of running out of option eventually. I do believe that it takes as much, if not more, courage to face death as it does to fight for life. Like Lyndy, I am not afraid of death (not out of any religious beliefs) but it's the dying bit I'm not too keen on if it will be physically painful for me & emotionally painful for my husband. I am making myself aware of the options available to me now should it become necessary. I don't see that as negative as I will always fight for a better life but it's another positive step in my journey to be prepared. Don't ever lose hope even if it ends up being hope for a good dying experience after a good life. I wish you well on your journey & comfort in the love that you & your husband share. 💜

Schnauzer19 profile image
Schnauzer19

So sorry to hear your news, sending love & hugs ❤️

Bless your heart. My husband just passed away from pancreatic cancer three months ago. I miss him dearly. The main thing is to control your pain when you have no hope with any more treatments. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Sending a hug for peaceful days ahead ❤️

Bobbyo1 profile image
Bobbyo1

Not everyone the same but I was class as terminal ten years ago been on several treatments the consultant can not put time frame on it just took what was offered to me but found now that travel insurance said because I had cancer for longer than six months they won't insure me and to get consultant to sign form to say I can travel hope this helps they have to say the worst that can happen in the first placexx

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