Hi all, I’m new here so apologies if this is in the wrong place.
MAY BE UPSETTING SO PLEASE EXERCISE CAUTION BEFORE READING.
My mum is 4 weeks into a 2 to 6 week prognosis due to going into total bowel obstruction due to tumours squashing her small intestine.
She is in a hospice and is comfortable but I was wondering if anyone else has experience with this? The doctors can’t give me any information except for “when it’s time it’s time” which is understandable.
To be honest, I don’t even know why I’m posting this except for my heart is absolutely breaking and you lovely ladies may well be able to relate.
Please delete if this isn’t appropriate or allowed.
Thanks.
Written by
Jennywright
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Hi Jenny this is heartbreaking for you x what cancer has your mum been diagnosed with and have they offered her any treatment even if only palliative to ease her symptoms and discomfort x
I hope they have your mums pain under control and are you as a family getting any counselling through this awful time?
All I can do is send you big hugs and let you know we are a good supportive group of ladies here xx
Just remember you’re there for your mum and she will love having her family there with her you can do this as mightily hard as it is because you love your mum xxx
Oh Jenny..so sorry about your Mum, I would suggest you talk to the hospice staff about what they expect will happen..no direct experience myself but many people say they are so much more experienced than doctors are and know how to support you as family. xx Lyndy
Jenny. I'm so dreadfully sorry for you and your family. I can't imagine how you must be feeling and my heart goes out to you at this time. Thoughts and prayers with you x
Thank you all, you are very kind. She is having anti sickness and morphine over two drivers to take away any pain. She has an NG tube and has it aspirated daily to relieve some pressure.
She was doing so well at kicking it as well.
I don’t really know about all the types and numbers of it, I just know she had Ovarian Cancer that was only diagnosed last April after she went into bowel obstruction. She had been complaining to the doctors for years about stomach problems.
She had 6 rounds of chemo then a hysterectomy last October. Then by Christmas her cancer levels were almost zero. All of a sudden in April this year it all came back so so quickly and the doctors said there was nothing more to be done in May. 😢
When I read your post, it took me right back to 2004, when I lost my Mum.
She had oesophageal cancer & was only ill for 3 weeks. I am a nurse but had never had any palliative care experience. The team looking after her were great & she was pain free. The main thing for her to know is that she is loved. As the end draws near, my Mum became very relaxed & quiet/sleepy. She was well looked after. I’m sure you Mum will be too. Feel free to ask me any questions. Linda xx
Hi Jenny . It is hard for our family's I have two daughter who are very supportive and I know that the day will come when I will be glad that they are with me and I'm sure this is how your mum feels, I'm glad she is being cared for and her pain is under control make sure you look arfter yourself also if you need to talk to someone ask, I'm sure they have counseling to help you and your family, plus we are always here if you need us.
Dear Jenny, I'm so, so sad to read your message. My heart goes out to you. I wish I could think of a way to help you. When my own Mum was dying 8 years she was very poorly and the decision had been made that she could no longer cope with food and was too ill to cope with having a stomach tube being put in to be fed. They tried to give her just 1 litre of water intravenously, overnight, which helped for a short time before her body could no longer cope with that. I was told that she would start "actively dying" shortly. A term I've never heard of before or since. It seemed that it meant her organs would all start eventually closing down. When that stage did start it still took a few more days before she did actually pass away. The reason I'm telling you this is because she had morphine driver with something else. She was unconscious and appeared to be very comfortable, never stirred. In the end we were almost willing her to die as there was nothing else to be done and she wouldn't have wanted to linger. We were all just so grateful that she wasn't in pain, heartbreaking though it was to lose her, we took comfort trom the fact.
Sending love and sympathy and a great big hug. Do keep in touch if with us all if it helps, Solange
Dear Jenny- i am so sorry about the trauma your family is going through. My heart goes out to you and your mom at this horrible time. Let her know she is loved and cherished. Is there any other chemo she can try? there is so much out there now. Please get hospice to help. vent here as much as you need to. we are a lovely group bonded by the horrible disease we have all encountered in our lives.
Hi Jenny--I have been where you are with my Dad--and although hard to watch, hard to know that he wouldn't be with us soon, I know he took great comfort in us all being by his bedside, talking even when he was sleeping or sleepy and tending to things he asked for as made us feel useful. The nurse told me towards the end, they may not be communicative but they know you are there. We held his hands, whispered we love him, and we surrounded him till the end. Never easy and my heart goes out to you. I agree the hospice nurses know a lot so maybe you want to write some questions down so you don't forget when they come. So sorry you all have to go through this. oxoxxo
Dear Jenny, I feel for you going through this dreaded disease with your mum. I have gone through the same with my late wife. The recurrence of ovary cancer reacted so fast that we did not have enough time to try new regime. Hospice will take care of your mum. Make sure that she is pain free and comfortable even with bowel obstruction. Our onco gave my wife minimum morphine under palliative are so that she was pain free but still awake to the very last minute with our children all around her.Then the body system shuts down slowly but we are relieved to be with her to to the very last minute at the hospital bed. So please be with your mum always.
Dear Jenny. I don't think there is any more you could do except keeping an eye on your mum being pain free and being near her over the next days and weeks. Please try to look after yourself as well during this time. Xx, Maus.
Thinking of you loads . This sounds the same as my beautiful mum . Bowel obstruction and also they said perforated Bowel . We lost her 2 weeks ago and ike your mum she was doing so well so it came out of the blue . She went into the hospice and I stayed for 10days where she died 2 weeks ago . Feel completely overwhelmed as thought she was doing so well !!
I hope you are looking after yourself . Take Care and much love x
I also can relate to this awful nightmare you are living. My mum also has a prognosis of weeks. She has large tumors also and we are praying that her bowels move soon. Mam always had said i hate talking about bowels they are private 🤣seems to be it's topic of conversation every day now. Hopefully our mum's and us find strenght somehow through all of this. No one deserves to suffer xx
I'm sorry as I just lost my mom to Carcinosarcoma. I can relate to your pain. My mom's metastasized to her lungs, abdomen and brain. She was given 30 days n 53 days later she fell ( bc half her body was paralyzed) and hit her head n had a brain bleed n went to Hospice.. she was suffering ( I believe this bc she wasn't able to speak but was alive for an entire week w no food etc n she wiggled her toes n squeezed my hand she was in pain ) I'm so so sick over it all.. My dad is a mess too...we did come across this woman and she has this cancer her name is Diane. She started a website called gcsproject.org and she raised 350,000 for research ( as it's the only research out there ) but she just passed away as well I found out. I apologize if I'm saying too much but I am in despair n grief n would do anything to have my mom back healthy. I miss her so much and my life has forever been altered. I do see a Hospice therapist and I'm considering going to group. Thanks for letting me share. 😞😟😢
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