The Beast Within

Hello everyone, I am new to this site. I was diagnosed in 2015 with stage 3B grade 1 breast cancer and given a 6-12 death sentence since I was not on board with chemo nor radiation....I wanted to heal my body with naturals. After 18 months of not being able to shrink the tumor or better yet rid my body of the beast I turned to chemo after several treatments with Herceptin and Perjeta (which actually performed quite well with regards to shrinkage, however my desire to begin the natural route again as opposed to mastectomy has not brought the desired results unfortunately. My last treatment with Taxol was 8 weeks ago. I have had bone and joint pain every day of my life since age 37 (now 70) diagnosed as fibromyalgia. I am experiencing tremendous/excruciating knee, fingers/thumb pain....constantly yelping from the when caught off guard and had to learn new ways of doing things as a result of the pain/misery. Everything seems to hurt with a great deal of increased numbness and tingling in the lower extremities and hands. There are many, many sleepless nights. As a result of the misery, I would be perfectly okay with going peacefully in my sleep....perfectly okay. I don’t see how this body can possibly be fixed at this stage, as I have been trying with everything I have to no avail. I wish the very best for all of you with cancer and all the other dreadful diseases that take over our bodies and bring about misery.

[27-359]

Hi. Your post has really saddened me and I can hear your pain and misery in your words. Sometimes this life does become an effort. We are on this road now, and have to do what we can, when we can, to try to ease our way along. I wish you small areas of happiness in your life, and hope that you have loved ones to share this burden with you.

Jenny

[Eriksendi]

I think the title of your post ,' the beast within' is so apt. I too was saddened to read your post and hope that you have your family and friends to support you. TBH, I am sure many of us have had, at some point in this awful journey, similar thoughts. I know I have especially throughout those long sleepless nights when I wonder just what I have done to deserve this and just long for my good health back. For me there is no choice but to cope and fight back the best I can. My family are too precious and I couldn't bear to leave them yet. This morning when I woke, the sun was shining and the birds singing and for just one tiny moment I forgot about this horrible disease. Fight on, appreciate and enjoy the small things.... life is so precious. Sending hugs x x

[luluw]

I was so sorry to read your post. My daughter has fibromyalgia so I have some idea of what you have gone through for all that time.

I had very bad joint and leg pain from Taxol and also neuropathy (the numbness and tingling in extremities). It took quite a while for it to improve after my treatment had finished. Maybe there's a possibility that yours will improve a bit in time-I really hope so.

Have you talked to your medical team? I know fibro is incredibly difficult to treat but they may be able to help.

I know I will reach the 'end of the road' at some point. I think we all do. I hope that yours isn't just yet and that you can find some joy and peace in life and some relief from your pain.

Much love and many hugs

Lou xxxxxxxxxx