Arrived at UCLH for my weekly check-up for my clinical trial. 3 cannulas refused to work-trouble even getting blood. Low magnesium again -apparently permanent damage from frontline chemo- and serious dehydration. Have to go back again tomorrow to try for the cannula again. Just want to give up as the trial pills make me so sick but I am convinced that the rumours that I can feel have shrunk. Feeling trapped and can’t stop crying.