D day at hospital

Morning guys,

Well the day for being admitted to hospital is finally here.

I don't know if I want this day to last as long as possible or to go really quick so my operation in the morning will soon be over.

I'm still suffering with anxiety when my mind wanders and I'm so emotional about it all and keep crying. This is not the normal me. I was pre diagnosis a very strong independent woman who dealt with things very matter of fact. I don't like this new me.

I'm sure it may be side effects from the chemo or even the menopause and can't wait for it to just go.

I am the only one being operated on tomorrow as it is the extensive radical surgery it is not just the hysterectomy, I will have a liver surgeon and bowel surgeon just in case further work needs doing.

I'm not looking forward to the recovery, not being able to do much, but hopefully won't want to.

Anyway, just to say thanks for all your support on the run up to this , it has helped.

Mandy, xx

48 Replies

  • Morning Mandy, it is quite normal to be anxious before such a procedure, I was too. My operation was 6 years ago this July and yes recovery does take a wee while, but take it slowly and let everyone around do what needs to be done. I am a single woman and did not have many people around, my children helped when they could, but having been on my own for many many years I too was a very independent person, but I took as much time as I could to recover. Unlike you I didn't have chemo before my op. I now live my life as an independent woman again, sure there are things I can't do now that I would have tackled before, but heyho I do other things instead. You will recover from this, just keep that thought in mind, stay strong and positive and take care of you and life will get better. Wishing you all the best for tomorrow, big hugs Ann X

  • I'm with you all the way Mandy. Very similar op to mine on 20th. I'll have you in my thoughts all day. I think you are entitled to let the superwoman guise drop for this. As soon as you feel up to it let us know how you are. Lots of love. Tracey x

  • Morning Tracey, how you doing?

    It won't be long now until your surgery. I hope you are coping better than me with the wait and you are well,

    It has been said that I will have 3 days in the high dependency unit so if I don't have my phone with me I wish you well for the op now,

    Mandy, x

  • Just remembered it's the 20th june.

    As soon as I am up and about I will send you a message and let you know how it went,

    Hope you feeling well,


  • Thank you Mandy. I wont bother you till I hear from you but you are in my thoughts. The best of luck and lots of love . Tracey xx

  • Thank you. I should have said 20th June when by now I should be a week post op. I'm OK. The oncologist is now asking the trial docs if I can start a 5th cycle before op as the delay is some 5 weeks. I'm getting stressed by it all. Is one cycle then enough sweeping up afterwards? I wish I didn't over analyse everything. Enough of me anyway. You are in good hands and after a few days you will start to feel better and the old positivity will return. Xx

  • Mandy ,good luck. If I can give you one piece of advice ask for an epidural, the pain relief was fantastic with it. Really positive thoughts are been sent to you

  • Hi Dryden1,

    They are doing an epidural and leaving it in for a few days after,

    Iv never had one before but have been told they are really good.

    Not sure about the needle into the spine but sure I will need one.

    Thanks for your reply,

  • My daughter is an anesthetist nurse, she says they place the epidural with a needle but it's removed and you'll just have a soft catheter remaining in your spine for pain relief days after surgery. Sending you positive prayers for surgery! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!

  • Sending you much love and big but gentle hugs. I'll be thinking of you xxxx


  • Thanks trish,

    It will soon be here and done and dusted.

    Ready for it to be over and be on my way to NED.

    Hope you well,


  • Mandy, the very best of luck for your surgery. We are all sending you virtual hugs and hoping that it will all go very smoothly! Take it easy with recovery and let yourself rest as much as your body needs to! And ..............drink loads of water!!!!! (It's the broken record again!!!!😁😁😁).

    Onwards and Upwards


  • Thanks d,

    I appreciate your reply, hope you are doing well post chemo.

    Mandy, xx

  • Hi Millie c

    The very best of luck and sending you hugs. I had surgery last August. Epidurals are fantastic. Be very kind to yourself and you'll make a good recovery

    Judy x

  • Thanks for your reply, I'm soooo nervous. I just can't sleep. I can't wait for it all to be over. X

  • Hi Millie

    Sending you positive thoughts and loads of hugs. Over 8.5 years ago I was where you are now. I went from a strong independent woman to a gibbering mess. However, after the op was over, not as bad as I thought it would be (fear of the unknown) it's surprising how time moves on and your strength returns. You'll get through this and look back from a stronger place. Please keep us posted. Kathy xxx

  • Thanks Kathy,

    That's amazing that it is 8 and half years ago. I can't wait to get back to some kind of normal.

    I'm sooo nervous. It doesn't help they have given me laxative and am now attached to a drip all night. No chance of any sleep.

    Anyway, glad u had a great time in Vegas. It's an amazing place which I hope to visit again someday soon.

    Mandy, xx

  • Positive vibes for today, thinking of you. Xxx

  • Lots of positive vibes to all of you facing surgery. You will soon be on the mend. I was really surprised how quickly I was on my feet..even after the epidural and general anaesthetic. As long as you go carefully (I had about 40 staples and looked like a metal hedgehog) you should be fine! XxxLyndall

  • Thanks lyndall,

    I know I have to have the surgery, but I am so nervous. My partner Lee is staying with me overnight. I could not have done any of this without him. My sister too has been such amazing support.

    I know I will get through it, but at the moment I'm sooo nervous.

    Mandy, xx

  • Hoping everything goes well for you. Know that everyone here is thinking of you.

    It's good to get the tears out. And being anxious is to be expected. This is a massive step forward in your recovery.

    My op is tomorrow too so will be thinking of you.

    Sarah X

  • Hi Sarah, good luck tomorrow. Let me know how you get on and if they go ahead with surgery.

    Take care, thinking of u.

    Mandy, xx

  • Sending you a big virtual hug, I also had bowel surgeon on standby but I just ended up with a few stitches here and there. Try not to worry, I know its hard because we dont like being confined or having others in control of our lives like the nursing staff or doctors. I want to wish you well tomorrow and hopefully your recovery wont be as bad as you think. Lots and lots of hugs

  • Thanks Suzuki, I totally appreciate all your responses over the last couple of weeks, always so positive,

    Mandy. Xx

  • Hope everything goes well and many -hugs-

  • Thanks for your reply,

    I'm sooo nervous but at the same time know I have to have this done.

    Can't wait until it's over.

    Mandy, xx

  • All the best love xx

  • Thanks dollysmum, appreciate the kind words,

    Mandy, xx

  • Good luck for the op and your recovery. I've had 2 lots of major surgery and it's tough the first few days but once you are able to get up it starts getting easier and the body's ability to repair itself is amazing. Don't suffer in silence - if you are in pain tell the nurses - but the epidural will be great for first few days. Also I wouldn't rush to eat anything too much clear soups, rice, plain things until your digestive system recovers but they will advise you in the hospital. Hope once it's done you will feel less anxious. It is a very up and down road we are on but hope yours will be on the up from now on. Hugs, Madeline x

  • Thanks Madeleine,

    Can't wait for it to be over now, appreciate the advice regarding eating,

    Mandy, xx

  • Good luck for the op Mandy. Even Superwoman needs time off ! Take each as it comes. You do feel better as they go by so be really kind to yourself. Hugs xo

  • Thanks Julie, xx

  • Take care and good luck for tomorrow hope it all goes well. Big hugs xx

  • Thanks and big hugs right back at you. Xx

  • Thinking of you, surround yourself with lots of pillows and wedge some along your side in bed, that really helps. I also slept with a small one over my abdomen too. Plus hold one over your abdomen if you need to cough or sneeze. Drink lots, thahelps plus also helps with bowel motions. You'll soon be ready to come home and healing so take care xx


  • Thanks Clare, hope you get the rash sorted when you see the consultant and your next chemo goes to plan,

    Mandy, xx

  • Dear Mandy, I really hope the op went well. You'll be exhausted today but the pain relief will work and allow you to rest. These ops are such big things for your body but the building blocks to recovery. Thinking of you.


  • Of course you are anxious and weepy. Who wouldn't be facing what you are about to face. Say prayers, chant mantras and believe all will be well. I will say a special prayer for you. My turn next month! Take care. Jeanne xxx

  • Mandy, Thinking of you - all the very best for a good op. I didn't sleep, either, for the weeks before my op. I was terrified! As the others have said, take your time, and let yourself be looked after. I'm single, no children, but friends and family were great at taking care of me. Hugs xxx

  • Sorry, I've just seen your post this morning. I hoe your surgery goes well and your post op pain will be well managed. When you're ready let us know how you are getting on. Best wishes. Ann xx

  • I hope that they give you a timescale for being hospitalised. I found this helped me a lot. The most annoying thing I found was not having the strength to pick up the magazines that people gave me to read. Maybe take an ipod with you and chill to some really good music, maybe ask if you can have some space in a side ward to get some private time with your visitors and some quality sleep. Thinking of you. I spent my initial time knitting, I made a complete jumper in a week and, lastly, take in some chewing gum, it will help with the constipation that you always get!! Doctor out!!!! Gio

  • Its totally normal to feel nervous and afraid even..We cant be super strong beings all the time...I am sure it will be fine..All will happen so fast. Byt he time you've counted to 10 ---then you're awake again and its all over..Recovery will also be fine..It will take time but your'e in good hands..

  • Hi Mandy how are you doing. Are you ok ?

    All went well for me on Tuesday. The large tumour in abdomen had burst so they had to operate there and then. Full hysterectomy and debulking.

    Hoping to go home tomorrow.

    Worst pain is the trapped wind 😩😷

    Moving around a bit today and managed a lovely sit down shower. Have follow up app in 2 weeks so should know about the chemo then. They sounded positive that they got it all out with lymph nodes too.

    Struggling to eat anything. I know I need to but just can't face anything just yet.

    Sarah X

  • Hi Sarah glad u got ur hysterectomy done and recovery is going well.

    I feel absolutely shattered. I think it is the epidural. Unfortunately I had to have my large bowel removed too so am left with a stoma permenantly which was worse case scenario. My ribs are killing me where they have pushed inside to scrape my liver, they also punctured my diaphragm which they had to restitch.

    They have been feeding me on a drip up my nose into my stomach which has just been moved today.

    My surgery lasted 9 hrs.

    I went into difficulties the night after with blood pressure where they thought I had an internal bleed, thinking they were going to reoperatre, so was on high dependency unit for 3 nights.

    In terms of pain the epidural is doing its job but making me tired that I'm not getting about much yet. They say that is normal for the extensive surgery Iv had.

    I will so glad when this is over. Xxx

  • You sound like you have been through the mill. I am so sorry.

    I certainly will not be complaining about wind again.

    I can't believe what you have just gone through. Your body is going to be shattered for a little while yet so make sure you listen to what it tells you. Tiny steps. I hope they keep you on the epidural for a while.

    I am sending g you a big gentle hug. And will be thinking of you every day. Xxxx

  • Aaah babe, if the wind is causing u discomfort complain away, it just makes you feel better.

    They kept me on epidural so far thankfully. Not sure what I would do without that.

    Take care and hugs to you to. Xx

  • Hey Millie!

    Sounds like you had a rough time I am sorry about that! I hope you are feeling a bit better now!

    Take care and mind yourself!!!


  • Thanks D,

    It was worse case scenario. Can't believe it really, but are trying to come to terms with it all. Still very tired at the mo.

    I'm glad it's over and done with now.


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