Not the news I wanted😣

So had my full abdominal hysterectomy 5 weeks ago and today had to go and see surgeon for results of biopsy. I have to have 2nd op as it looks like there is borderline cells on the lining of my pelvis. I did get the option to wait abd see what happens but it could grow into a bigger grade and be harder to treat plus could spread. after alot of thinking and crying I've decided to go for the op as at least it will get rid with alot less chance of coming back. I'm devastated as are all my family as our first grandchild is due in March which I'm going to miss due to op but hey why can i do. what I'm asking is if anyone has had similar and how do you cope and how do I stop the constant over thinking. I seem to be constantly crying. I'm struggling to work out how I get through this. Any help would be massively appreciated.

Sheena. X


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29 Replies

  • Hi there

    I had supposed cyst plus everything else chopped out in January 2010. Some time later it was diagnosed as a borderline tumour. I took the news badly , despite fully understanding that the probability of anything coming back was low. I also had a second surgery 5 months later to investigate pain.

    So how you are feeling is completely normal and virtually everybody I have come.into contact with has had the same you must realise this.

    Poor thing....I remember feeling like this so well.....hugs. A second surgery is rough but it is doable. Your family I'm.sure will understand and coming into spring and summer you will feel better....but you must give yourself time to get over things.

    Love n hugs xxx

  • Wow thankyou I just keep thinking am I doing the right thing what if I have complications after because of op and perhaps I should just wait and see what happens as it may never get worse. hey who am I kidding I know I have to have op and need to think of others not just myself it's just I was just feeling better now I have to through all that pain especially the trapped wind after. so scared its unreal.


  • Hi Sheena

    Sorry it wasn’t better news but if you go for the op then you should be able to look forward to lots of time with your grandchild in the future...that's got to be precious ❤. There is no magic bullet for living with the threat that OC brings us but having a good cry, seeking support and sharing (all of which you are doing) are all in there. It won't always feel this raw but having other people who understand is a godsend xx Lyndall

  • Thankyou for your kind words it's horrific isn't it and it just seems to be all I think about. it just op it sorts thins once and for all don't think I can take much more. xx

  • Sheena,

    I haven't been I the same situation but had my debulking around the same time as you (9 Jan) & 3 days after coming home was readmitted to hospital again for complications/infection and spent a further 5 days in hospital. My emotions ever since have been all over the place & I've been very tearful.

    No wonder you keep crying, I think that's perfectly normal in the circumstances. You have just come through major surgery, & no doubt did not expect to have additional surgery. It's a lot to take in, & your expectations have changed. Not to mention your feelings about your first grandchild. I expect you are overwhelmed with emotions.

    I am sure your family will do all they can to support you, & that having this second op around the time of the birth won't mean you can't see the baby at all.

    Give yourself time to let your emotions out. If you feel up to it perhaps talk to someone, a friend, nurse someone you can offload to who is impartial. I find myself trying to protect my immediate family a little so I keep some stuff to myself.

    Big hugs

    Sarah xxx

  • Hi Sarah thankyou and tats exactly what I'm doing is trying to protect my family and not worry them anymore than needed. I think because we are in Devon and my daughter lives in Glasgow it's will be impossible to visit for quite a while although we can fly up but I will obvs have to wait a while. More surgery is bad enough but it's the worst timing. Thanks again for your kind words. Xx

  • I developed a tumour in my pelvis in 2015 and opted for surgery. I feel it was a good decision despite having to go through recovery again. You will drive yourself mad worrying about growing cells otherwise and this way you'll have peace of mind. Good luck


  • Lily-anne you are so right I've def decided to go through with it Ive done it once albeit only 5 weeks ago I've just got to do it again only thing that really scares me is there is a chance I will have to have a temporary stoma which I know I won't cope with. Xxx

  • I have a temporary stoma which I was not expecting. It may not happen, but if it does, it is doable. You get a stoma nurse to help you and there is a clininc at the hospital and a phone line.

  • thankyou. 😚

  • I have one, so do message me if you would like more info


  • Thankyou. xx

  • Have you talked to your doc or surgeon to see if it would make a difference to wait until after the birth? Doesn't seem like much longer. My doctor always has a good perspective on when flexibility is appropriate. Best wishes to you and your family.

  • Hi yes I have there is such a waiting list I just wanted to get it done whilst I have it booked also he did say as I've not long had an op it's best to get on and open up in same place. I just want this evil stuff out of me and all my family just want me better ha so I've just decided to get on with it. Xx

  • I really can't blame you for any of your feelings and the emotional roller coaster. I also had to go back for second procedure to find out the cancer is in a lymph node. Quite small but surgeon made me aware that there was a 50% chance of Lymphedema ( big leg) Our decision was not to remove it. I'm starting new pill for BRCA gene ovarian. I'm scared, depressed at times, strong part of day. All of the above and we have reason. I do force myself to walk and stay as physical as possible. I'm not a quitter, I just keep pushing forward and that's what you "have" to do! I have 3 grandchildren and that alone is a great reason to hurt like a warrior. Where do you live? If it will make you feel better I do think about cancer all the time, I'm not obsessed with it but it's always there. Enjoy your day and take it 1 mile at a time until you go over the finish line . It's a worthwhile Marathon!

  • Hi,

    I know it is hard. I was 37 years old, having 4 years old baby and trying for second baby when I found out that I have stage III c oc. I was devastated, firstly because I knew I won't have any more children and secondly, even worse, that I won't see my son growing. Had extensive debulking followed by 6 sessions of chemo. I was clear for 12 months, and cancer came back, very aggressively. Now I'm fighting again, I'm in the middle of chemo which I'm finding much harder than one I went through in 2015. I've missed many things, but 8m still alive. Our life is changing after diagnosis, you need to adapt and get used to it. I know it sounds horrible. But I cried a lot and after all that didn't help. Now I'm trying to be positive and I keep fighting. What else we can do, we have no choice. 😉

    Best positive and fight

    Best wishes and lot of hugs

    Zaneta, xx

  • Hallo Shezzer,

    In the meantime you can take control of your diet by building up you strength and your immune system by juicing mainly veg and some fruit in a Nutribullet. Not too much fruit though as all sugar feeds the cancer. Try and cut out the sugar from you diet, this is very important!

    A great website is THE TRUTH ABOUT CANCER with lots of advice and information about alternatives and nutritional advice.

    You are not alone.....

  • Thankyou. x

  • I do not wish to be argumentative but I feel I must point out for anyone new to this site that the statement that "all sugars feed cancer" is at the best misleading. Indeed cutting any major food group out of your diet can be harmful.


  • If you read my comments I didn't suggest cutting out whole food groups. I said not too much fruit which some fruits contain high amounts of fructose a natural sugar, but nonetheless sugar.

    It is the added sugars in processed foods that we should be aware of consuming as in cakes, biscuits and soft drinks that we should be concerned about.

    If you read the scientific research, sugar does feed cancer. Even one of my friend's Oncologist said that sugar to cancer is like oxygen to a fire!

  • Yes, Julia I agree cutting out a whole food group can be harmful, but is sugar a food group?

    The sugars I'm referring to are the ones like corn syrup etc found in processed foods, biscuits, cakes, and soft drinks......

    Some fruits contain higher amounts of natural sugars in the form of fructose, than others, still a sugar nonetheless.

    Go to the websites I have mentioned and learn more about its affects on cancer.

    It's up to people's personal choice if they want to educate themselves about alternatives that are available, that's why I've put the websites up here.

    All the best,


  • Dear Tina

    Thank you for taking the time to reply.

    Please rest assured that having worked as a health professional for 30 years I like to think I do have a basic understanding of human physiology.

    Making rash unsubstantiated statements on this forum is very irresponsible and potentially dangerous.

    Alternative views are fine but they need to be presented as such and not as statements of fact.


    PS to clarify, yes sugar is a food group and a major one.

  • I'm sure there are interesting things on this web-site, but anything with the title The Truth About..... makes my hackles rise.

    There are few things which are unambiguous and fully understood and ovarian cancer is not one of them.

    Of course advice to eat well is always sensible and helpful. But some at least of the history of medicine and nutrition over the last 70 years or so has been of one poorly trialled fads which made people's lives misery and then turned out to have been nonsense!

    I agree: building up your health and strength so you can better deal with treatment is not emphasised enough.

    It is perfectly possible to do this without having a Nutribullet. How did people manage before these and microwaves and.... and.... were invented? Many household budgets don't stretch to buying bits of kit and this probably adds to the stress of having the disease .

    Having cancer is a painful experience we all share. It is not a cult with special rules.

    I'm sorry if I sound irritable.... I've just seen this post or similar ones a few too many times.

  • Thankyou I will do anything to be beat this bastard disease but to be honest I've always ate healthy never smoked only drank socially not very often and did pilates 3 times a week and I still got it soooo I've just got to get through it and by that I mean having the op and eating as I always have including a few sugar filled treats every so often. I was trying to work what I had done wrong to get this but as my surgeon no one no matter what status or age is immune to this awful disease. just sheer bad luck in my case. Xxx

  • Its such a natural thought to wonder 'why me?', the causes of cancers are many and varied including genetics, environmental and chance. I think that dealing with the diagnosis and treatment is tough enough for anyone without any additional feelings of guilt about diet etc. I came to the conclusion 'Why not me?' given all i learned and find it an easier thought!!

    I have been at a number of conferences where the question of 'sugar' has come up. In every case, the speaker (consultants) has said that there is no credible evidence that eradicating 'sugar' from diets will prevent recurrance. Whilst of course acknowledging that a well balanced a diet can have benefits for everyone- this will importantly be within the confines of what is possible for the individual at that point and will be affected through health, finance or circumstances. The term 'sugar' is often bandied about, but on a chemical level (as it is absorbed in the body) it is just a simple carbohydrate and found in a range of things including milk, plants etc. A little bit of what you fancy, enjoyed without guilt, is surely a good thing!!! Very best wishes, Sx

  • From Mayo Clinic website:

    Myth: People with cancer shouldn't eat sugar, since it can cause cancer to grow faster.

    Fact: Sugar doesn't make cancer grow faster. All cells, including cancer cells, depend on blood sugar (glucose) for energy. But giving more sugar to cancer cells doesn't speed their growth. Likewise, depriving cancer cells of sugar doesn't slow their growth.

    This misconception may be based in part on a misunderstanding of positron emission tomography (PET) scans, which use a small amount of radioactive tracer — typically a form of glucose. All tissues in your body absorb some of this tracer, but tissues that are using more energy — including cancer cells — absorb greater amounts. For this reason, some people have concluded that cancer cells grow faster on sugar. But this isn't true.

    However, there is some evidence that consuming large amounts of sugar is associated with an increased risk of certain cancers, including esophageal cancer. It can also lead to weight gain and increase the risk of obesity and diabetes, which may increase the risk of cancer.

    Additionally,there is some important and interesting information here from CRUK site to consider: scienceblog.cancerresearchu...

  • 👌

  • Please reconsider this post Tina. It sounds contrary to the spirit of these boards... SX

  • Dear Tina28

    I have removed your recent post on this thread, and as the post has caused some concern I would appreciate it if you would please contact me to discuss the terms of use of this forum? Telephone 0800 0087054 or email or private message through this forum. We don't wish to limit discussion but we have certain guidelines I would like to discuss with you.

    Best wishes


    Support Service Manager

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