I feel so big

I have put so much weight on I'm fed up .... I have had so much trouble with being sick etc that my healthy food plan went out of the window .... I got so down and lost all of my positivity and was snacking just to keep some food down ... I'm starting to feel better now and got the shock of my life when I looked in mirror ... I look so huge ... at least I'm alive and kicked cancers ass .... time to diet 😐

23 Replies

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  • Hi Shelley I know the feeling! Have put 3 kilos on since Christmas, I know I need to lose it but like last night just needed some comfort food so opened up a box of choccy nuts I had at Christmas! I think we are too hard on ourselves, you have been through such a lot, was your last scan all clear, are you NED? I too am stage 1c having my last chemo carbo only on the 24th, mine was serous high grade, not sure what clear cell is, so much terminology! When the weather gets better and you feel better tackle the weight, just be kind to yourself for a while.............that's what I am doing! Good luck! x

  • Yes my last scan was clear I am Ned check 3 month check up on 19th .... clear cell is a rare cancer that is quite aggressive so I have been lucky ... I want to get back to normal but my drive and energy are so low ... thank you for your reply it has helped me to realise I am not alone 😍

  • Morning Shelly!

    I agree with Triplets be gentle with yourself you have been through a lot and it will take time for your body to recover so don't be too hard on yourself. Don't bear yourself up if you fancy a snack enjoy it and when you and your body are ready then you can look at doing what you feel is necessary to improve how you feel about your body! I am nearly 10 months post chemo now and just starting to tackle my eating patterns and getting in to a more healthy approach to eating, I am ready now I wasn't before!!!

    Mind yourself!


  • I think I am being too hard on myself ... I've just had a couple of tough months and coming out other side I just feel a mess ... thank you for your reply your looking fab I aim to look as good as you do 😍

  • Shelley I know what you mean. Please be patient with yourself. You've been through a lot. The diet will come in time. I lost about 25 pounds after Debunking surgery and a week of liquid diet. Then it all came back. I was so bummed I thought that was one bright spot after everything. The pounds will come off on time.

  • I did the same lost loads of weight and it's all back gets you down .... look like a balding round ball I'm huge .... my appetite is not that great but the pounds roll on ... eating all wrong things .... thank you for reply it helps to talk it out 😍

  • I've put on lots in the last couple of months - really disappointed but OH (also increasing) and I agree we are not going to do anything about it until the results of my post-chemo scan at the end of the month. Too much stress at the moment.

  • Im in that club too- I was my best weight just before surgery...I'd been doing Slimming World which was also helped by the symptom of not being able to eat as I was full after a single piece of toast!!!!!

    I looked slim and was so happy to be wearing different clothes etc. Then I put on weight with each chemo - first week I lost weight due to sickness and nausea then I couldn't stop eating and that happened each time. We also ate as we wanted to over Christmas. I have cut out food now but am not yet ready to face going back on Slimming Word - it works fantastically for me but I'm not in the right headspace.

    There is a fine balance between looking after ourself and feeling bad because of weight. I'm trying to find it!!!!

    We are in this together!!

    Take care

    Clare xx

  • Thank you Clare I too was on slimming world I so want to get back to it but as you say my head space is not there I have to do something but my frame of mind is still stressing over oc 😳

  • Hi I too feel overweight,I was so slim after surgery, but the weight has slowly going on.

    I am at the moment at a spa,my Christmas present,I have just done 20 lengths of the pool and have an Indian head massage booked shortly.

    I hope this kick starts my health and weight loss regime.Lets not beat ourselves up,it's a long journey,but we are all still here in varying different sizes!

    Lots of love and positive thoughts to you,

    Carole xxx

  • Thanks Carole so jealous of the massage ... well done you for the twenty lengths .... I don't think I could manage one lol .... I need to draw a line in the sand and welcome the new me ... now where did I put my mojo xx

  • Hi Shellygirl, lets look at the positives. You are in a good place at the moment with OC and that is the main thing. We all put on weight over Xmas, I am trying my best to get back walking now my hip isnt playing up, But you have to have the mindset to do it so at the moment I am not doing too bad. I think my scales are wrong anyhow, the weight fluctuates by just a kg or half a kg nothing in between so blaming that for the moment, I havent opened Xmas chocs yet so I am probably eating wrong stuff too but it would be worse if I wasnt able to eat, We will get through this.

  • Thank you so much for your kind words ... we will get through this 😍

  • Hi Shelly

    When I started chemo I read the booklet about eating well including butter, cream etc and really went for it! That was July 2015 and I am just now thinking about tackling the 2 stone I gained but it is tough because I have fatigue and can't do much physical stuff! I think I get a scan soon as been on Avastin for a year so if things are looking good for the moment I think that will spur me on to get a bit of fat shifted! I know it would make me feel better so if your head is in a good place then go for it! Good luck , you can do it! Xx

  • Thank you for encouragement 😍

  • Shellygirl

    You need to give your body time to heal from both chemo and surgery, my onc told me our bodies are fighting and trying to heal from the treatment and this can take anything up to 12 months to clear the toxins.

    My last treatment was mid September 2016 and I still have some sluggish days and some normal days, be good to yourself listen to your body it knows when it can perform and give it the chance to heal.

    Hugs Ellsey xx

  • I do exhaust so easy taking a tin out of the cupboard is all I can manage sometimes .... going upstairs well total exhaustion .... I feel so ashamed of myself 😳 Thank you so much for your reply it does help to know that I'm just not being lazy lol .... my motivation to do anything does not exist ... my friends ask me to go out and I make the effort to go but I don't look forward to going it feels like a chore to get ready .... I'm not in good place at moment... I need great big kick up my bum lol πŸ˜‚ xx

  • Hi Shelly- I also have to lose weight just to feel good about myself. I lost about 3kg after surgery last spring and felt great. I have always been a walker(having dogs keeps me that way). I did slow down after the full cut TAB. It took a while to get back into walking but I did and kept it up through chemo. The day right after carbo/taxol I could not, but the worked my way back up to 3-5 miles a day. Then of course the dreaded CT scan after chemo was done I ate too much-stress I think, then Christmas came and with it the cold darker weather, and Christmas treats, etc. you all know that story!

    I have just started Weight Watchers using the power foods only(can find it on Pinterest) last week. weighed myself this morning and down 3 pounds. You can do it Shelly -hardest just to get up enough gumption to start. Take one day at a time only, baby steps. Visualize how you will fell and look after the first 10 pounds and keep going. we should have a OC/weight loss support page!!!! You gals are so wonderful and encouraging. wish we could all meet together.


  • Awwww thank you Carol I know I have it in me but you think with Oc what else is going to happen to make me feel rubbish .... I know I've just got to focus and things will happen .... thank you so much for encouragement sometimes that is all you need a boost .... I feel so ugly with scar from top to bottom .... short hair that almost isn't there and a huge belly 😳

  • I am right there with you Shelly-big scar, short short hair. I am trying to control what I can and at the moment its my weight gain. We have to fight cancer!! If cancer caused all this weight gain through treatments and recovery then we can fight back and take control. You can do it Shelly-we can all do it!!! I will beat cancer!!!


  • Your right .... it helps to know we are not alone in going to conquer this 😊😊

  • Me too 😒😒, I'm so glad I'm still here but need to get a grip soon! I do think we've been through the mill though so gently does it! X

  • Thank you for your reply your words echo exactly my feelings I'm so greatful I woke up from my op which is all I focused on for weeks lol .... getting through chemo etc I'm so glad I have come through the other side ... I just need to get a grip take my life back 😳πŸ’ͺ🏻 πŸ€—

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