Morning all!
Wondering if any of you have experienced this? I have been moving along nicely thought I was back on track getting used to my "new normal" as we seem to call it nearly 9 months out from Chemo but in the last couple of weeks I find myself prone to melancholy that I can't seem to shake! It's not bad but randomly I will cry or feel like crying! Anyone experienced anything like this??
Dx
Hi D I'm not in a position to say anything useful on this as I don't have the experience. Knowing us lot someone will though. just a note to give you a virtual squeeze and a smile. Chocolate fire guard in terms of useful advice but well mean tall the same.
X Netti
Thanks Netti!
Hi DX, I know what you mean, I go along fine and then like a bolt out of the blue I get these feelings, I think most of us probably do at some point, but being the warriors we are we dust ourselves done and get on with it Take care of yourself Pam xx
Yes D,
All the time! I am 21 months after chemo,I cry randomly,it's not self pity,I think it's shock as to what has happened to you, I was told we suffer from post traumatic stress after cancer and it's nothing to be worried about unless it starts to affect your life.
You may want to look at councelling,or meet up with some ladies in your area with OC,or just try and do some things to lift your mood.I was also told it's more worrying if you don't cry as then you are bottling things up.
Also, if you have had a radical hysterectomy,then you have all the aftermath of that.I sometimes feel ungrateful that I'm not more appreciative of the second chance I've been given and would like to do more,but, quite frankly I feel too exhausted.
All we can do is do our best,don't beat yourself up,you are a brave lady as we all are.
Christmas is emotional too
Love
Carole xxx
I think you are right Carole somethings we forget the enormity of what we have been through! I did have full hysterectomy mine was laparoscopic but I suppose that's doesn't make much of a difference it's all still gone! I am waiting on results from genetic testing too and I think that is playing on my mind. My sis who had breast cancer got her results on Weds and they were negative which is fantastic for her as she has 2 daughters and it prob means mine will be negative too but it's the waiting that's driving me a bit mad!!!
Thanks for your response!
Dx
Well I wish you all the best with that,I have various waiting over the last few months about that,not from my side,it's not genetic.But we found my husbands mother died of OC,so we have had double whammy and still don't have a definitive answer as we can't trace back as there is not available knowledge.
We have had to accept what was there before testing?,but my daughter will be monitored and taken seriously.
Don't drive yourself mad, it sounds like the outcome will good,but otherwise you are a strong lady and will cope,
Love C xxx
Hiya I think waiting for results is extremely stressful. I had been fine too, and then while waiting for results of my scan, all my fears came back, and I cried randomly & found it very difficult to pick myself up for my step-nephew's wedding last weekend. On Tuesday morning, when I went to the hospital to get my results, I had to go into the Macmillan place to ask for somewhere private to cry, so I could let it all out before I got to my appointment! Macmillan were really lovely, & my scan results showed NED, So I've been fine since. xxx
Thank you, Carole. Your note is exactly what I needed. I was feeling terrible that I wasn't jumping up and down with gratitude and happiness because I've made it this far (12 months after that nasty debulking surgery and 6 months after chemo) So glad I'm not crazy and other women feel this way! I'm not sure if I'm in a funk just "waiting for the other shoe to drop" (recurrence) or delayed shock or what. I try to put my trust in God, but that anxiety and depression keeps creeping in.
Hi,
I suppose if you factor in grieving/ bereavement into the recovery process then feeling melancholic and tearful seems a very natural part of adjusting to new 'normal'??? I feel underqualified to comment as I haven't had chemo - I had the op TAH and am still waiting 5 weeks on for full results of what the MDT said was on the 'benign to borderline spectrum' - but I am having odd tearful moments out of the blue. I can imagine that if you have had chemo with all that that can bring even if your body is returning to normal there is so much to cope with psychologically...
Miranda xx
Thanks Miranda,
You're right about bereavement I think sometimes it's months later when you start to mourn what all this has taken from you!
Best of luck with your results and Merry Christmas!
Dx
Hi,
No, we don't. You just getting old... 😈😈😈😈😈
You could be right Zaneta!
How are you?
Dx
Hi
I'm the same. I cried once when I found out about recurrence. Then nothing, no emotions just black humor. Then again I cried a lot on Thursday as this was really bad day for me. It was our 15 years marriage anniversary and I've spent half of day in hospital trying to get ct scan done. My veins has gone completely and there were no way to put the niddle in. So I had enough, really enough. I said I don't want to do it anymore. Then on Friday my black sense of humor came back. So that's why I put the joke. Hope you didn't mind. 😉
Not at all Zanetta!
I have a friend who also uses black humour all the time so I knew what you meant!
I am sorry you are going through so much at the min! You are a fighter so keep fighting! I hope you will be well enough to come to the coffee morning in January and I will see you there is you are!
Have a great Christmas and new Year!
Dx
PS: Happy Anniversary!!
It's my guess that all the time we're recovering from operations, undergoing and recovering from chemo we concentrate on that and then finally the enormity of what has happened to us and what the future might or might not bring, rises to the surface.
Like the new profile pic by the way!
Hi D
Sorry to hear you are feeling a little low. Maybe it could be the menopause affecting you, don't know if you are taking any hormonal supplements after your op and treatment
. The other thing could be delayed shock from everything you have been through. This affected me around six months after chemo and I battled with it and slowly slid down the long slippery road of depression. I felt really ashamed of myself that I couldn't be happy ... after all my chemo had finished and I could get on with my "new life" as so called friends would tell me.
Please make appointment to see your GP if you continue to feel sad and weepy, there's lots they can do for you.
Take care and Happy Christmas
Lynda 🎄X🎄
Thanks Lynda,
I will talk to GP if it continues hopefully it's just a blip in the road and won't last long!
Have a fab Christmas and new Year!
Dx
I cried like a waterspout for the first few weeks after my diagnosis, actually went to the doctors and was given anti-depressants. I never actually got round to taking them as the first one gave me the runs, and I cheered up anyway. However, the last few nights I have been overcome with grief and guilt about my mother's death in 1980 from OC. I'm sure there is an easy explanation, or it could be I'm just a nutter.
You are not a nutter! A lot of it is this time of year and you can miss family no matter what,I am an only child and my parents have gone and I have lost "friends" through this illness,Ihave a husband,son and daughter with their partners and one grandchild,lots of cousins,aunts ect and not in contact with any,but some very good friends.
Do you Have Family?,if you do,it doesn't always help as I know they don't always understand.
I have a lot of guilt over my parent deaths, but it won't help and they wouldn't want us to feel like this,hope this helps,you are not on your own
Carole xxx
Hi d
I think I've felt emotional since diagnosis may 2015. Some days ok, some days cry a lot. However, haven't we all been through so much, no matter what stage of cancer we have.?
Also this time of year,which I love,can make us feel emotional and vulnerable.
Wish you well d and happy Xmas !
Judy x
Just wanted to add and this sounds so ridiculous to me now, but I even burst into tears if I saw a pregnant lady ..and the silly thing was I was 60yrs old and couldn't have had a baby if I hadn't had the big op.
Sounds familiar.....it takes time to process everything and I find I have good weeks and bad weeks....xx
Just go with it 🙃 Let it all out and move on. Just because you have a blip don't let it spoil your day/week/month. I find it quite cathartic to have a good cry and at the time it's not pretty but it lets it all out so I can put it behind me and carry on living. Smile you woke up this morning!! 😘
L4W
Hear hear L4W......got out of bed and am cleaning the place from top to bottom!
Onwards and Upwards!!!
Dx
Don't know that I'd have gone that far!! 😘 Treat yourself to something nice you deserve it.
I've been feeling the same way, D and I have put it down to the time of year - all Christmassy and family time. This time last year I had no idea what awaited me in the New Year, and at diagnosis never thought I'd still be here, and now I keep welling up over everything. I cried at both nativity plays my daughters did, and I normally find them vaguely dull! My husband posted something on Facebook about how he nearly lost me earlier this year and loves me more than ever and that made me cry...
It certainly looks like a lot of us have gone through all these emotions.
I filled up reading your post lol... what a wouse I am 😭
😘 xxx
I am like this too but it's only about 3 months for me 😳
Hurrah for getting through for being post chemo! It is hardly surprising you are given to bouts of melancholy. All of us here have had to face the scariest times in our lives, but whilst we were having treatment we had someone literally looking after us and now we are flying solo and it is terrifying. I know just how you are feeling. I feel like a conquering coward. What I have found helps is to remember the biblical verse about none of us knowing the number of our days, to spend some moments remembering the treatment and how you dealt with it and how you have emerged as a 'new' person. That new person is YOU and you are amazing and very very brave. Do not feel melancholic for the old you, celebrate the new you and most of all just get on with living, loving, laughing and being you.
Hi D, its just a blip, it hits us when we least expect it, You see we are now away from the hospital routine and like cast out on a desert island, At this point, I went to visit Arc Cancer Support House hear in Cork. They have trained listeners who will refer you to a counsellor and perhaps a few reflexology treatments also help, Its a lot to get through in a year. You have been busy getting away etc and now its an emotional time of the year anyhow. If your feelings persist do speak to your gp or your team. Unlike the Breast Care ladies we do not have anyone to talk to after treatment. I find the ICS offer services but when you go looking they are not there or you meet a blank. This is how Ovacare comes in and perhaps we need an Ovacare Group set up in the West of the Country. There are patients out there so it needs to be looked at in detail, Anyhow all this running and racing for Xmas does get to you, last week I was convinced it was back even though I had okay check up the week before, Mind yourself and be kind to yourself,
Hi D, so sorry you are feeling a bit blue at the moment.
If you think about it, (and often we don't sit down and take stock of things because we are so busy 'moving forward') you have had a big big trauma, you have been on that treadmill that is GP appointments, OC diagnosis, major surgery, chemotherapy and goodness knows what else. You are 9 months on from finishing your chemo which (if I've got my maths right) means you must be near the anniversary of the start of chemo? Maybe there is some significance there?
As you know, we have all our 'lady bits' taken away in the operation, I have friends who have had this surgery (not because of any cancer) and who say they got a little depressed and mourned the loss of their organs and it is believed to be quite normal to be like this, after all they were what made us so very special in that we could create new life with them and now we can't (although at virtually 62 not sure I'd be capable or want to anyway 😂).
Because we had chemo pretty much straight after surgery we didn't have the time to mourn our loss because we were presented with another huge hurdle (chemo) to jump over before we'd even properly finished jumping the surgery hurdle.
What I'm getting at is that perhaps now is your time to mourn this loss?
Our new 'normal' is also something that is hard to come to terms with so maybe you're struggling with that a little too?
I really don't think this time of year helps either, we are under so much pressure to have a happy Christmas and everything that it entails is more likely to make us blue, it's so much more pressure (I'm a real bah humbug at this time of the year😕)
Contact your oncology team, they have trained people who understand and can help you.
Take lots of care and I hope you feel better very soon, sending lots of love and big hugs ❤️Xx🎄 Jane
I certainly got weepy at times. My life had changed so much and there were things I have missed forever. One of my grandchildren arrived at around the time I was diagnosed and I still don't have the same bond. I'd still been working part-time and gave that up. I lost a friend as she never made the effort to visit. I did develop a new life but it took time. And there was just the shock of the diagnosis and not seeing myself as the fit, healthy person I'd been before. And no-one quite understands all that except for the people on here.
Counselling might help you, if it carries on. I find it harder this time of year, unless I plan seeing friends and getting out and about. I try not to be home on my own all day (I have a partner but she works full time+ and is stewarding a horse event all day today). I've started yoga with a really good teacher who makes it fun. I hope you find things that help you x
I think CropCrop might be right about it being close to a year since it all kicked off. I spent last Xmas day in hospital after debulking and I must admit I'm not sure about how I feel about this Xmas. It's getting close to 'this time last year I was.....' and they aren't pleasant memories, are they? I'm also a lot weepier than I used to be. I really hope that your 'low' feelings are just a blip but do get help if you need it-at least tell your family how you feel.
Love and hugs
Lou xxxxx
Hi D
I am three months on post treatment and starting to feel the new me, sat looking at the Christmas tree the other night and the tears just came. I only thought I am glad I am alive.
Merry Christmas
Hugs Ellsey xx
Sorry you're having these feelings. I think it happens to lots of us randomly out of the blue. I think it's a bit of reaction to all the fear and stress, not helped at the moment by the grey days. Hope it soon passes. Maybe have happy music on, or cuddle down and have sofa days watching daytime television. When I have a bout of it, I find I cry as much for happy news as I do for bad news. 😊 Love, Solange
God yes me constantly! ! Am around a month out of 3rd line treatment and extremely weepy at everything! ! I think the time of year makes us feel a bit more weepy at times!
Satcrying at the Strictly final Saturday night and don't get me started on all the adverts! !! 😢😢😢💕💕
I go through this as well. It takes very little to make me cry. Movies, commercials, during conversations with others, or for no reason at all. It makes sense too that we may suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome with all we've been through. Hang in there. The clouds will lift eventually. I don't believe we will always go through this Kim xo
Chemo Delayed
Decision made - delaying 2nd treatment :)
Reaction after ct scan
Operation delayed
Allergic reaction to Carboplatin
