Still blathering

OK. Me again. Still feeling weepy and thinking out loud online which is probably not a good idea. I've hardly shed a tear since last February.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone in my last post. I didn't mean to be smug or patronising or pitying ... and I'm so sorry if it came across like that.

I actually think ... and I'm not sure how this works or if it's right ... that I feel guilty as well as relieved. Is it possible to have a guilt at feeling so lightly brushed by this disease?

Tomorrow I'm going to try to go back to my 'before OC life' and see everyone again. Maybe getting 'back to normal' is more emotional than hospital stuff? Much love.

11 Replies

  • It's called 'survivors guilt' I suffer from this too. May be par for the course when you see what your friends are going through xx

  • Hi, just read your last post and it doesn't sound at all smug, patronising or smug, it just sounds like someone who is relieved at dodging a bloody great bullet and that must be a massive relief for you. The feeling of guilt is normal and you must not beat yourself up over it. Go and live your life, you've been so through so much and now it's time to have some fun, so pleased for you, love Kerry xx

  • Thank you Kerry. Your words mean a lot. I AM going to enjoy life. Sounds a cliché but everything is different now. Xx

  • Oh goodness, no one thinks that of you,it's lovely to get a sucess story.

    I think you are suffering with a bit of shock as we all are,I was told it is like post traumatic stress syndrome, it doesn't matter what your outcome is, it's just the matter of a brush with possible death makes you feel vulnerable.

    Make the most of your life

    Carole xxx

  • People often feel guilt because they survived and others didn't, such as aeroplane crashes, ship wrecks and even war. I think it's a normal human feeling.

    Your post wasn't smug or anything like it. It was good of you to post with good news. It's uplifting. I hope you will now treasure every single day of your life, which those of us who have been in this position really know how to do.

    All the best!

  • Hi there

    Please don't feel that you have offended's great news that you don't need any more treatment.

    I am also one of the lucky ones, borderline tumour so no chemo , but don't forget that you have also had a big trauma with two surgeries etc. So don't feel bad if you dont feel 100 per cent brilliant 100 per cent of the time in the coming weeks and months.

    Love and hugs xxx

  • Dear Kate,it is quite natural for you to feel the way you do after being brought face to face with your mortality at such a young age. I had this experience many years ago when suspected breast cancer turned out to be nothing serious. Even though I got the all clear I was weepy and depressed for weeks and my GP told me it was only natural after what had happened. Remember too you have had surgery and the effect of the anaesthetic can also have an impact on you,

    Now you need to concentrate on recovering your strength after surgery and be kind to yourself as you heal and slowly get back to feeling more like yourself. Don't beat yourself up if you feel weepy and want to cry. It is all part of the natural response to what you have been through.

    Hope your recovery will be smooth and uncomplicated and wish you all the best for the future. Do message me if that would help.


  • Thank you Barbara. That's really kind. Kate x

  • Well good for you and I can't believe anyone here who's having a worse time would want you to be in there with us! I hope you get back to whatever you want to from your life before ovca.

  • HI Donut, I have read your post just now and its honest and natural. It is great to hear people have done well, it keeps the rest of us keeping on in the hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You feel gratitude which is a huge thing to embrace, always feel grateful but also be kind to yourself and dont be blaming yourself for getting off the roller coaster, we are all happy for you

  • Thank you for understanding. Kate x

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