A hard decision

Hi ladies after the worst 3 weeks of my life I was planning my funeral.had chemo myocet 3 weeks ago and have felt worse each day.saw onc today and have made the very difficult decision to give up on the chemo.iv been having it almost non stop since diagnosis 18 months ago.i feel permanently sick, tired and no strength in my body.she said this is the progression of the disease.iv got steroids for the nausea here's hoping they work.so I guess we just see where life takes me.it may go up who knows but I guess I just enjoy what I can.regards carolyn

27 Replies

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  • I wish you the very best. It is so difficult, but I do believe in the power of life and positivity (not that I've been so positive lately), a break from the chemicals and a chance for your body to fight naturally may be right for you. Who really knows.

    Good luck, sending you a virtual hug and lots of positive vibes

    LA xx

  • Hi Carolyn, so sorry to read your post but whilst there's life there is hope.

    A break from the chemo and maybe some good food once the steroids kick in will make you feel better. Wishing you all the best at this difficult time. Xx

  • Carolyn,

    Like LA sending you virtual hugs and lots and lots of positive vibes!!! I wish you the very best!

    Dxx

  • Hi Carolyn..sending love and hugs your way. This is a tough old road we are on. Hope the steroids help you to get your appetite back xx Lyndall

  • Dear Carolyn

    I understand completely where you're coming from. To have been on treatment non-stop for 18 months and feel so awful is no life. What I am hoping is that you can recover from the endless onslaught of treatments and hospital visits, restore your wellbeing, and that with palliative care you can be comfortable and make the most of where your life takes you. Who knows where that may be .

    I'm currently not receiving treatment and I can't unless a couple of problems can be sorted out. I really don't know whether I even want any more treatment because it's so invasive. I've been referred to palliative care and have had the most wonderful service and treatment from them in a lovely environment far removed from crowded waiting rooms, clinical settings and hurried appointment times. I can only say my brief experience attending hospice and with their care and support has been a very happy one.

    Keep in touch, if you feel you want to, and let us know how you're feeling and how you're getting on.

    Sending hugs and love xxx Annie

  • Dear Carolyn, felt very sad for you when I read your post, Totally understand how you feel, because I have been there on many occasions, but believe it or not, you will pick up. Sad thing about this foul curse of a disease we have, is that there are so many ups and downs, many of which are very severe. But you must keep up the fight !!!

    Sending you much love and support

    Jackie O xxx

  • Hi Carolyn, maybe it is time for you to take a break and recover some strength and your appetite. I wish you well and hopefully you can build yourself up and enjoy good days without having to go through treatment. This road is full of twists and turns and a break from hospitals etc is probably what you need right now, Later on that decision can be revisited. Thinking of you

  • Sending a big hug and lots of positive thoughts xx

  • Wishing you the very best.

    Hugs and best wishes

    Asma x

  • Much love coming your way xxx

  • 18 months is a punishing regime and your body will surely thank you for a break from it all, although it must have been a hard decision to make. I hope they've set up some alternative support and care for you now that you're not going in for continuous treatment and tests and so on as we can sometimes feel a bit cut adrift when the chemo routine comes to an end. Wishing you well and hoping you get some strength and enjoyment back in your life.

    Beth X

  • My partner is in the same position,no more treatment.Steroids will help they did with my Vivien.

    On good days do something nice.

    Take care Craig x

  • My love and prayers to you. We all have to make life descisions. You have to do what it best for you. I hope the break from the chemo helps you heal. Xx

  • Hi

    You are brave to have made such a hard decision. I understand not wanting this disease to take what's left of life. 18 months is a long time. I hope you have some respite now. Be kind to yourself and and when you feel well enough make the most of your time. Be gentle. All love & positive vibes coming your way xxx

  • Dear Carolyn

    I just want to join in that group hug and to tell you that you are in my prayers . If you would like I could ask a lovely friend in an enclosed order of nuns who has been praying constantly for me to include you and all the brave women with OC and PPC. All the other women here have given you great practical advice which I echo. In the meantime I hope you gain more and more strength as those chemicals leave your body.

    XXX

  • Hi Carolyn sending you much love hoping the steroids improve the situation and allow you maybe to start a trial or chemo again . Best wishes jue x

  • I'd like to thank you all so much for your words of kindness and hope.i am so lucky to have you ladies there for support and to know I am in your prayers.on a good note the steroids are doing their job and that awful nausea has lifted.love and kind regards Carolyn xx

  • Dear Carolyn,hugs and kisses to you,and good thoughts.Im so happy the steroids kicked in and your feeling some bit better.Like you I'm on continuous treatment since diagnosis 2014,I think it's the mental suffering which is the worst with this disease.Youve made a very difficult choice,but,one that is good for you and for which you will benefit from.Quality and not quantity of life is so important.much love

    Xxxx

  • Dear Carolyn

    I just want to send warm hugs and love.

    It is a difficult time for you. I hope you continue to feel a little better.

    You will be in my thoughts.

    Georgie

  • Love to a brave and beautiful woman. Liz

  • You're so brave. What a hard decision you have taken. Your body may start to fight back itself but what a step not the unknown you are taking. Good luck and I hope you have some good times when you recover from the constant treatment. Hugs Lx

  • Hi , I felt like you when I was coming to the end of my treatment.Two years of treatment,sick of infections ,in and out of hospital.Side effects of chemo. Oh I was feeling so low. One day I cried none stop.I wasn't depressed.So tired of all the fear and pain. I'm not a person to give in. I am a fighter,but I told my husband and my boys ,that's it no more chemo.Why am I putting myself through this hell.It's for you all. Oh I sobbed. They sat and listened .Anyway I did have my last two Cisplatin/Taxol ,but was rough again I ended up in hospital with a bowel infection. Now my body needs to recover,I'm on wait and see. I feel great ,CT Scan and ca125 results were good. I know it's only a matter of time till it returns. But I'm enjoying getting out and about again.I'm actually planning ahead. I don't know what treatment is next,a lot of chemo didn't work or I have taken a reaction too .If had time to think straight and get stronger. So Carolyn hope it works out for you,it sure is a roller coaster ,take care love Meg x

  • You are so brave. Lots of love and hugs coming your way

    Love

    Mopsie

  • A brave and wise decision. Hope you are comfortable and have some truly great days ahead. Bless. Vx

  • Oh Carolyn, I'm so sorry hyouve had su h a rough time. I know that day will cone e entuya!my for me too but I just can't imagine it at this time. I do so hope that a period oif time chemo free will let you build your strength up and perhaps you may be able to have another bvash at it in a few months time. Thinking of you. Ann xo

  • A very difficult decision but it seems the right one for now, here's hoping this break is just what you needed. Sending you all best wishes, Kerry xx

  • Dear Carolyn, i dont know what to say except that God Willing you will be better off w/o treatment. My wife is just three months into this with debulking/hipec and three chemos done out of six and its the hope and family that will ensure she goes through the six.

    Naimish

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