Strange night

Strange night

Well here i am and it 12.30am and i can't sleep. i have been in pain all day. I had to come downstairs to get some painkillers as i haven't any by my bed. I tried to settle down,but all of a sudden i thought i could hear my mobile going off. Now that would be difficult as it was downstairs and you wouldn't hear it in bed. I shot awake like a shot out of a gun. I thought you must be dreaming sylv and tried to settle down again. Then in my minds eye it seemed that my laptop had come to life with a message for me. These visions were as clear as daylight. My first thought was my son was trying to get hold of me. As you know he is working away. He has a cold at the moment. I don't know why i just had to get up and come down and check,which you can gather by this blog that i'm still awake. Nothing untoward on my phone or laptop so don't know what that was all about. I've been known to have dreams that have come true in due course.

Well it has been a painful weekend all told. I know i'm having a flare up of ra. My hands are very hot and sore so i keep putting them in the sink with cold water to try and ease them off with little success. As you know from my previous blog i went out to a proms night sat. and i had a lovely time,but i knew i would suffer,but it was a good night and i thought what the hell it was worth it. I never dreamt it would be as bad as it has been. so i have spent the day on my chair trying to rest. Hubby and grace went to the parade and i watched the one on bbc this morning.

I'm reluctant to contact anyone as i'm getting the feeling that they are fed up with me,thats what i think anyway.

Think i will try and go back to bed in a while or i might just get comfy on my chair and try and sleep. It is very warm here tonight which isn't helping.

So night night good people sleep tight.

Sylvi.xx

20 Replies

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  • hello Sylvi, i am up too. You might have retired by now. i got up at 2.30, a great big moon shining into my room making me believe it was much later. My oldest girl had a hard time sleeping tonight she has the transfer test (previously called an 11+) on saturday and she is now worried about it - she is bright and intelligent (0bviously taking after me) so should do well hopefully she will not be overcome with nerves.

    Sylvia, i think we are in a similar place at the minute - heavy weekend and experiencing flare up of pain. My upper body is just burning, its in my back and neck as well as the usual hands, arms.......It has missed my knees this time which is wonderful.

    I feel a bit down in the dumps as well at the minute, i have made an appointment with the gp and will look at getting some antidepressants or something as i am really struggling at the minute to find joy in anything. I am beating myself up over nonsense and my dismal state is not good for my two little ones.

    Whether it is true or not, i believe that my husband doesn't care or really doesn't want to know as he doesn't want to deal with it - i can sometimes count on him for practical support but i find that my brothers and sisters and friends are more interested in how i am coping and i rely on them when i am really struggling. But more often than not i just go it alone.

    I have been the one who historically did everything in our relationship He is a solitary guy and likes his own company whereas i love loads of people coming and going. I resent the fact that i can't do it all anymore and there is noone there to pick up the slack. We have drifted apart so much and the ra is not bringing us any closer if anything.......

    I am tired, in pain, its the middle of the night and things always look so much more depressing. I have had two tramadol (change from codiene) so hopefully i will get some sleep. Hope you do too Sylvie. NIght night.

  • Hi Mads

    If it were me i would have to just ask him??? I can't do with husbands who don't care.... but you never know like Sylvi said he might actually care but just doesn't know how to show it, so find out?? (sorry to you men out there, but men are a bit simple in their thinking, and it seems that they need to be told what we women feel is obvious;-) at the end of the day it doesn't sound like it could hurt the situation as you already feel alone. By the way you are not alone, you've got us ;-)

    You are right though, things always seem so much worse in the middle of the night.

    Hope you are having a better day today and that you got some sleep?

    Ella xx

  • Hi yes some anti depressants will help. please talk to husband about how you are feeling.., men sometimes cant show feelings too well and often can appear less caring than they are because of this. xx

  • Oh my darling i feel for you. I do have a good hubby who does everything for me,i couldn't cope without him. To get your hubby to understand whats wrong with you write down in a diary your feelings of pain,emotions and how you feel regarding him. I get the impression that you love him dearly and don't what to lose that,so tell him that as well. I'm sure he does care but doesn't know what to do and being a man sits back and hopes it will sort itself out in time.

    I kept putting my hands in the sink all night,they are still swollen,i'm frighten at the amount of painkillers i'm taking.During the night it worked out about every 4-5 hours, i have had a couple of hours sleep down here and then went back to bed at 3.30 and had another hour or two. I hate the thought of what this disease is doing to me. I look at my geace and i see me 20yrs ago,loud,bolshy and would open my mouth if i saw something unjust being done.Now i feel like hibrenating and wake up when i'm in less pain.I don't want to go out most of the time,i do force myself to go out at least once a day,but night time is getting to be impossible, Our village has it xmas lights switched on at the end of the month,but i won't be going as it will be too crowded.

    See your doctor by all means and if you do write everything down take that with you. I am on anti-depressents and i'm seeing a clinical pschycologist as well. I have to say this sight has been a god send to me as i have been able to let it all out. My hubby doesn't know what i write if he did he would really know what was going on in my head. I trust all of you as i know you are feeling exactly the same as i am. On my good days i share all the lovely tales and things with me and i do try to keep others going when they are having a rough time too.

    My darling i hope that you had some sleep and are up and ready for today.Thank you for listening to me and i hope this little missive is of some help to you.

    Love sylvi. xx

  • Hi Sylvi

    I'm glad you have good support in your husband. You're right when i started to have therapy, i started to understand how to do this Arthritis thing ;-) I haven't as yet had anti-depressants as the doctors and I feel that the depression i feel now and then is reactive (due to whats happening and not a chemical inbalance), My therapist always says to me " well it doesn't seem un reasonable to feel this way". I can see their uses though ;-)

    Please don't spend too much time worried about what this disease is doing to you, you can't help whats going on, and it sounds like you are doing everything you can? Life changes and it can change again from how you are feeling now. Things could get better! who knows, but on my good days that is what i feel is exciting, obviously on my bad days i think 'what a load of rubbish ;-).

    Hope you are having a better day

    Love Ella xx

  • Hi Sylvi

    When I have a flare up like this, I use a product called Dynamint. It has a cool and then warm sensation which I find is very soothing and comforting.

    Some of the ingredients are peppermint, calendula, eucalyptus and tee tree oils.

    It doesn't relieve all the pain, but for me, it does seem to ease things somewhat.

    Hope you get some relief soon.

    Alison R x

  • where do you get that stuff from Alison? xx

  • Hi Sylvi

    You can purchase it online at dynamint-muscle-cream.co.uk. If your struggling, let me know, and I'll post you some. As I said, it isn't a miracle cure, it doesn't take all the pain away, but it does seem to help, especially when the joints are burning.

    Good luck

    Alison R xx

  • thanks i certainly look at that'

    sylvi.xx

  • sent for some just now. only ordered a small bottle to start with to see how it goes. thanks alison. xx

  • Hope it brings you some relief Sylvi - let me know how you get on with it.

  • WILL do.xx

  • Friday,alison i ordered that cream and it came today,so i'll see how it goes and let you know.l

    Sylvia.xx

  • I am sorry to hear you are suffering so Sylvia.. please be careful on the amount of painkillers you are taking.. dont over dose! Try to unwind before bed hot bath. milky drink. no tv, computer or gadget use near to bed time or, as a sleep survey on tv today says or in the bedroom!.. electrical activity from devices can affect sleep patterns xx

  • I won't take them less than every four hours,most of the time i don't need them through the night. Its just that at the moment i'm sufering more than usual.

    Summer you can be the first to know i've aquired a new scooter. Its a lot bigger and its got a cover right over the top, a friend of mine had got after her dad died and tried to sell it on ebay but couldn't,She let me have it for £400. It needs a good clean,but it will be perfect for me going to and from the village and beworth. My other scooter is ideal for the purpose it was got for and thats to put in the car when we go out,but i have found its not that safe for me for everyday use,so now i have 2 scooters. This one needs a tax disc. I have to send of the paperwork to transfer it to my name.

    I don't think the weather is helping any of us at the moment. My tv has a timer on the plug which switches the tv of completly as the lights on it make the room very bright so we cover it until it goes off.

    Take care,sylvia.xxx

  • Hi Sylvi

    So sorry you're feeling so unwell,i think you overdid at the weekend!but so what -you still have to live your life and have some good times now and then.

    Mads -sorry your having problems at the moment - good idea to see your GP.I'm not trying to defend your hubby but he sounds a bit like mine.When i was first diagnosed he found it very difficult to cope-he is very "technically" minded -everything is black or white and if theres a problem he needs to find the answer.As we all know there is no real cure for RA and he found this very difficult to cope with.I now take him to a lot of appointments with me and i think he is now accepting there is now "miracle cure"

    Take care both

    Julie xx

  • SYLVIE!! We are not going to get tired of you, or anyone, telling us what's going on. I am sorry that you are having such a flare.

    Perhaps Prom was a bit too much, but hey, doesn't come around every weekend!

    I had similar experience the day after my son's wedding and reception. Oh my, I had a great time. Was on my feet almost constantly the whole day and evening, and I danced. I just had to hold on to one handle of my walker for balance, the other hand with my friend guiding me and promising she wouldn't let me fall.

    We are 3 friends, all with RA and Fibro, so we look out for each other.

    Anyways, the Sunday after I was not moving well at all. My hips and feet would not work well and my wrists and hands were useless. Took most of the week to do anything but sit in my chair, holding Bridget. Rest! Then remember Pace yourself. Active for however long you can, but quit before you get more pain. Take a break, if only for 15-20 mins. Hang in there! Loret

  • Thanks ladies, saturday night all i did was sit in a chair and do a bit of flag waving. Went to the loo and sit and have a cup of tea.

    I've had a good night sleeps last night,but i can hardly move. I will just have to rest again.

    sylvi.xx

  • sylvi,

    hi - you do make me laugh! reading about you waking up and being certain things are ringing and switching themselves on in the dead of night is so absolutely right it is untrue ! ! ! i have had nights sitting alone on the sofa doubled up in pain that i am sure i hallucinate ! ! perhaps that is what you were doing ! ? isnt it hilarious to think there is a world of us wondering around downstairs, wide eyed with drugs, talking to ourselves about things that are going on !!! and inthe morning we have morphed back into normal wife and mother - amazing xxxxxxxxxxx

  • That my dear was so vivid it was unbelievable.I have had premonitions in the past and thats what it felt like. I glad i can make someone smile and laugh because this ol body of mine ain't good for much else i can tell you. I find i can communcate with other people well and i can talk,boy can i talk!! Its amazing to think that a woman who only has 1 gcse to her name can make people smile and feel better themselves,i think that is my role in this life and to suffer from pain. I sure like you i wouldn't know what a normal wife & mother looks like.Ha ha!!!!!

    XXXXXXXXXXX

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