Ok i've just done something that i hate myslelf for and it is getting all too common for me recently....
My step kids have just gone after their usual 'every other weekend stay' and i set about my usual routine of having a massive clean (why do small people make such big messes??). I put Aretha RESPECT on loud and set to with my flash... while is dancing around my lounge, singing at the top of my voice R>E>S>P>E>C>T and wipeing the coffee table (thinking i am actually really enjoying myself), my mind suddenley said " Be careful dancing Ella what if you fall or break a bone due to your disfigured feet" and immediately i turned off the music, quickly finished cleaning and continued to remind myself of all the reasons at the moment why i shouldn't have fun.
I was just about to go and have a rest (which i will still do anyway as kids can be knackering when i thought bol***ks i'm going to ask my friends if they ever do this same sort of thing to themselves. Do you ever stop yourself having fun or a nice time because you get anxious that you might hurt yourselves, or does any of your minds create needless anxieties when you have something nice planned? E.G. you're planning to go out for dinner with a girl friend or hubby etc and you've been fine all day but just as you're about to go get ready you convince yourself that you're too painful or you're planning a chilled out day at home alone and you start thinking about all that could go wrong??
Then there is the whole.. I have tummy ache so i convince myself that it is something terrible and it will end up with me being really ill/A&E/surgery... My therapist thinks that is because a few aches turned out to be Arthritis and did get worse so i presume that will happen with everything...???
I annoy myself i mean it's not as if we don't have enough to REALLY worry about and then my mind has to go and create more. It's as if i don't think i deserve to do nice things.
Ok so now you all think i am mad i will stop