I want my energy back......

[thekeys46]

Just feel the need to offload. Sorry if this comes across as a moan. I have been off work for nearly 6 months and have now decided to take IHR. If I have a busy half day one day I seem to be shattered and have a hangover feeling the next day. My B12 levels were borderline low so my GP suggested a course of B12 injections. I was hoping they would make a difference for me. Anyway I haven't had the response he thought I would have so he is not going down the pernicious anaemia route(I am also iron deficient and have parietal cell antibodies). I asked him to check my vit D levels but he said if I am out in the sun they will be OK.My folate levels are well above the normal level, but thats OK. He is just putting the fatigue down to the RA and all the medications I am on.

My mum hasn't been right for the last year since she had a pacemaker, before that she was bowling driving, playing darts etc. My brother lives in America and was sending his 12 year old son over to stay with my mum for 3 weeks. My younger sister emailed him to suggest he didn't as me and her didn't think mum was up to it but my brother spoke to my middle sister and sent him anyway. He arrived last tuesday. I took them out on wednesday and had planned to take them out thursday but I just had no energy so cried off. Mum took him to her local swimming pool. She was watching him and became hot so went for some water. She collapsed and was taken to hospital by ambulance. It was thought that she had a TIA. I arrived at the hospital just after her and was with her til the evening when my other sisters came up. My nephew was dropped at my house and he has been here ever since. We have to try and make sure he still has a good time. Its easy for the others they just call in as and when they feel like it. He has gone out with middle sister today,went out with niece yesterdayand with my son and daughter on friday. My house has always been where everybody congregates for bbq etc. Usually I don't mind but at the moment I am feeling down and last night me and younger sistter had words(we were ok after) I was looking forward to a relaxing day today and then at 10 am I had a phone call from mum, could I take her home? Got to the hospital and she isn't ready to go, they need to sort her medication out so have leftt her with instructions to ring when she is ready. I had an awful nights sleep last night-so many weird dreams and this morning my hands are swollen and most of my joints are 'hurting' and I just feel like crying but need to be Ok as I don't want people to see me like that. Even if my mum is home today my nephew can't go back there tonight as it wouldn't be fair on her. My daughter and her partner are taking him to Butlins at the weekend so at least I will have a break then.

Sorry, I just needed to lett it out. Because I look OK they assume I am OK.

xx

[Hidden]

Your allright to offload, We all do it, its a human thing.

It does not help when you dont feel right

I hope you feel better soon xx

[thekeys46 in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou.

xx

[Hidden]

I just think you are a real star. I hope your family appreciate you although I know that in the real world that doesn't happen as often as it should. Hope all goes well for your Mum and that you get the rest you need very soon.

Christina xx

[thekeys46 in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou. xx

[Hidden]

Be truthful to your family and tell them you are feeling lousy. Your nephew seems to be stuck in the middle of all of this but it's not his fault and maybe they would have lost money by not sending him over. Life is difficult with any illness so when it chooses to throw extra issues on your path, it all seems to culminate at the same time.

have you had a look at the B12 groups online? What your doctor has done is typical of the older type who haven't a clue really about the disease. You do need vitamin D regardless of the sun as we just don't absorb enough of it when it is here. I live in the supposedly sunny south but I'm still deficient. My B12 levels have come up to a realistic level now I've had the injections but if they stop I will be back to square 1.

Don't worry about ranting on here, it's what this place is for. Gentle hugs. Angie.

[thekeys46 in reply to Hidden]

I am trying to keep things as 'normal' as possible for my nephew. He still needs to have a good time. I am annoyed with my brother as he hasn't even rang here to see that his son is OK, just spoken to middle sister who doesn't tell it as it is.

I have had a look at the B12 groups and they all mention vitamin D and that if you have high folate levels then your B12 levels can show to be higher than they actually are. I am going to see a kinesiologist tomorrow to see if she can come up with anything. ( I keep hoping)

I try to remain positive but sometimes things just become too much as it has now. Things will get better. At least mum is OK

Thanks,

Lottie xx

[Hidden]

Poor you that is a stressful situation that you are in. You are not fit to do anything when you are exhausted and the slightest thing magnifies everything. How many weeks have you left now? Could the middle sister take him next week as your mum may not be up to it? Your family seem really close and supportive though and probably since you have always been the hub house they just without thinking took it for granted he would stay with you.

Hope everything works out and you get some rest quickly.

[thekeys46 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. He has another 2 weeks here. After Butlins mum was going to go down to her sisters in Poole but now she won't be able to. That was a problem in itself as Poole is 5 hours from here. My daughter was taking her down and she had assumed I would pick her up but I had told her I couldn't drive that far now(I have done it for her in the past) So I don't know what will happen after Butlins. Nobody else will take him as they are working. Because I am off it is assumed that I will and do all the running around with mum! Also becuse I work in the hospital it is me who gets told what is actually wrong with mum and takes her to her appointments. Usually I wouldn't mind at all but just at this moment in time I am just so tired.....

Time to put my happy face on as mum will be ringing shortly to be picked up.

xx

[Hidden]

Oh I really feel for you - that's hard re your mum and your visiting nephew and I understand how stressful it is trying to keep someone that age happy and occupied when you're feeling lousy. I think some real honesty is required so that your family (not your mum) know how you are feeling and this way your nephew won't be left high and dry.

I'm feeling much the same way today and haven't got a nephew to look after or a mum (sick or otherwise) - just three sons and a girlfriend and a dog - but my husband shares all of these with me.

I feel dire with a heavy cold that seems to have gone for the tummy too and yet the boys and husband have the same lurgie as me and seem fairly boyant so it must be because of the MTX and because I'm generally worn out that I'm struggling so much with this I think. I also asked my GP to take vit D test last year but he said the same thing as yours about sunshine although I live in far north of Scotland so am at high risk presumably - although I do walk the dog a lot. I don't know enough about vit B12 deficiency but certainly feel lacking in energy just now. Can't help or advise on the medical stuff but just to offer my sympathy as well. Tilda x

[thekeys46 in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou. I think it has helped off loading. I know it probably looks like a moan but it is good to come somewhere where others understand how I feel. We all want to keep going and not let people really see how lousy we feel.

I am still waiting to hear when I can have mtx injections. Not really sure why they have been recommended. I like to be in control and at the moment it seems things are out of my control. Will keep plodding away though and keep hoping that my energy levels will increase.

Lottie xx

[Hidden]

I hope so too Lottie re your energy levels. Glad you feel better for the offload - I feel better for doing the same on the other side re this evil fluey cold that is dominating my day today (and for the past week). It's ironic that I'm desperate to be allowed to take MTX by injection and you are not even sure why you're having to!? I like being in control too - having RA is a disaster for us control freak types eh?! TTx

[thekeys46 in reply to Hidden]

I hope you feel better soon and that you get the chance to have the MTX injections. I am assuming its an absorption issue with me.

Just got home from taking mum home. She seems ok just loads of appointments in the next couple of weeks

xx

[sylvi]

Lottie,you sound off as much as you like,we have all been where you are with family. We have also been where you are with your ra. we won't mind that you have a moan as we all need to do that at times. I won't mention your dear brother in the states,thats not my place,but we are all with you and you have got to take a stand with your family.

I hope your mum soon feels on the better side of being ill.

Love Sylvi.xx

[thekeys46 in reply to sylvi]

Thankyou. Just glad to have mum back home. She needs to relax and take it easy. its too stressful for her to have my nephew there. Have suggested we contact my brother and let him go home a week earlier. xx

[sylvi in reply to thekeys46]

I would, does he know his mum has collapsed and why hasn't he been over to find out how she is. I am sorry i sound critical but you and your sisters are all pulling together. sylvi.xx