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I want to support my Mum who has been finaly diagnose with RA

My Mum has been suffering with osteoartritis for many, many years - 40 years at least. She has just been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthrithis after 8 weeks of severe pain coupled with pneumonia and limited mobility. She was discharged from hospital when the pneumomonia had improved sufficently only to be admitted in the middle of the night 10 days later with a sudden onset of lack of mobility, chronic pain and breathing problems. Seems like her joint pains (put down to septic arthritis previously were somethig else entirely). I really need to know how to oversee her care to ensure she is not just sidelined as just another elderly patient with mutliple health conditions (she also has COPD, type 2 diabetes, chronic kidney disease and high blood pressure). Anything would be greatly appreciated,

Rosie : (

16 Replies

your poor mum! what do they say she's got instead of the septic arthritis?

you sound a lovely caring daughter,

I'm sure you'll get some suggestions on here soon.



Thank you for your reply Sandra. It nows seems that rather than have septic arthritis it is actually RA and they are starting to treat it with steroids and she will be treated on the rheumatology ward which puts my mind at rest.



Hello there,

I can only echo what Sandra just said - I'd be over the moon in years to come if my children were speaking about me the way you talk about your mum.

One way to proceed is to find out as much as you can about Rheumatoid Arthritis. It might seem overwhelmingly complex at first but monitoring it and treating it actually come down to relatively few key points.

You need to know (if you don't already) the basis on which they diagnosed her. For example, the results of any blood tests. I think doctors will need to tread very carefully with any drug therapy given her other conditions so perhaps you will need to keep up the pressure on them to find the right way forward for her.

How mobile is your mum? Maybe I'm being unrealistic but some forms of exercise are good for RA & this might be something to look at if at all possible.

The NRAS website is good for information but there are of course loads of sites on the internet that deal with RA.

All the best to you & your Mum. I hope she starts to feel much better soon after all she's been through.

Luce xx



Thank you for your reply.



Thank you for your reply.



thinking of you. ask your /her gp to put you in touch with any services you can access eg care/ respite care, dial a ride etc?.. the NRAS website/ helpline has helped most of us on here give them a ring monday too x


Thank you for your reply.



Hi Rosie

A big hug to both you and your mum. X0X

You have come to the right place for support and info as we are a big caring family that not only gives advice, but we are also here for you both if you just want to vent your frustration or need a shoulder to cry on, which we all need at some time!

When mine flares which in recent weather has been often! I find keeping. You joints warm makes it more bearable, I think I look weird walking round the house in scarf, gloves & wrist warmers, but it does help. I also have a anti inflammatory cream to rub into joints which is a god send.

Hope your mum gets some ease from her pain very soon and please keep us informed of how she gets on. We are here for you both.

Big hugs and blessings of strength and love to help you both through this very difficult time and I have asked the guardian angels to watch over you both.


Thank you for your words of support. I think this forum will be a sourse of useful information to us as we get to grips with my Mum's condition.

Thanks again.



Reading mitzymoo's response made me wonder how the cold weather affects older people with RA. I'm in my 50s and was indifferent to the cold until I got RA - now it is a major factor. My feet especially seem to have their own micro-climate - a very cold one.

My friends and relatives definitely do not understand that my need to keep warm, especially at night is part and parcel of this condition - they tend to see it as a new fussiness, I think.

So it might be worth really quizzing her about whether her home, her bed & bedroom etc. are warm enough & whether she needs new things to wear, thermals perhaps. She might have been feeling uncomfortably cold and thinking she had to put up with it due to age.

Hopefully this will all be irrelevant though as temperatures rise!?

Luce x


hey i hope the docs can get yr mum on the right meds, so she can start feeling a bit better. the right meds can make a very big difference to the quality of life. and i would also like to say what a fantastic daughter you are xx


Hi Rosie, Rosie's mum xx

Hope mum is feeling abit better, I have been having a think about how to make mum as comfy as possible and for you to have a little rest with her!

My prescription for you both is:-

* get as comfy as possible on sofa, recliner chairs or bed of your choice

* beverage of your choice (a week dram added if needed!)

* snuggled under snuggy blanket, duvet etc

* favourite girly film of your choice

* box of nose friendly tissues!


As often as possible, nothing better than abit of mother daughter bonding to make you both feel better, have a laugh and a good cry for what ever reason, it doesn't matter as the film is the excuse for the tears and both of you will feel alot better for it!

Big hugs and wishes of strength and love to you both and angel blessings

Take care


Hi Rosie,

Sorry to hear about your Mum's diagnosis. The NRAS Helpline team will be able to answer any questions you have about her care and about RA in general. Their freephone number is 0800 298 7650 so please don't hesitate to give them a call.

The website may also be of help to you at this time if you haven't visited already - nras.org.uk.

Kind regards,




Hi Rosie and Rosie's mum,

Hope you are both well

Take care, Angel blessings for you both


Hi Rosie

I am sorry to hear your mum is so very ill. It must be hard on you. I had to care for a mum with alzheimers as well as working full time and I got break down and rheumatoid came at me that way 11 years ago.

There is information online regarding RA but it is bitty as it is not known much about. Caring for your health through diet is essential with this condition. Alcohol, cigarettes, acidic foods, sugars, yeasts in bread, gluten, meats, dairy are out. Veg, rice, pulses, nuts, coconut milk, soya, tofu, some spices like ginger, galingal, ginkco, ginseng, turmeric (heart strengthener), asafoetida (antibiotic naturally), garlic, coriander and others all seem to be helping me.

Keep weight down and even if in bed or sitting down still practice moving the bits you can move like stretching muscles or tensing muscles whilst lying down. Yup, it gets that bad!!

Positive thinking is a must and a desire to fight back and help yourself. Quitting is not an option. Let your mum do things for herself as much as poss even if it hurts to watch her. I would not let anyone help me do anything even though my whole body was in agony burning and twisted, every move like burning glass in joints and tendons but I am fighting back and have remained wheelchair and care home free to date.

I went through the pneumonia for months. Tough it was!! Rosie although it is difficult you have to care for yourself as you can slip into illness too!! That is what happened to me. Get out and about and busy.

Hope you find this useful, share whenever you like



Hi, sounds like your Mum is very lucky, she has you by her side. Sometimes we just need someone who will listen and be with us. Remember she will have good days and bad days, listen to her when she tells you she hurts, is tired and support her. Read everything you can about RA, to stay informed is so important. Good luck to you and your Mum.


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