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RA and the Weeps and psychologist referral

Weepy day today. Saw GP this morning to discuss other meds I am on and have had a clear out of everything no longer taking. Has cut my list down from 4 pages to 2! GP then asked if I got depressed. Floodgates opened, several tissues later, she asked if I had ever had counselling and whether I would like to see a psychologist to discuss everything which has happened over the last few years (Cancer, Thyroid disease, heart disease and RA). What a wonderful list of ailments but no Angina attack now for 6 years and thyroid levels are still ok (thyroid removed completely in 2001). Asked how I coped day to day. Explained I read, painted, listened to music, took puppy dog out, stroked the cat and generally gave myself a good talking to. I can let her know if I wish to pursue the psychologist bit.

Does anyone else have experience of that? and If so, did it help? Would be glad to know.

Feet also very painful still and fingers keep cramping up and twisting to one side so I have to straighten them again. Did mention the rotator cuff to GP but it seems it is part of the RA although steroid injections don't touch it. Do wonder if I should now go for the ultra sound to see what trouble is there.


12 Replies

Hi lavendarlady, i have had counselling in the past and found it very helpful to talk to someone who knew nothing about me or what I had been through. I too put it off for a while thinking I'll get through it and be ok but some days I was ok and others I just felt like I had the world on my shoulders.

We need to deal with the past in order the face and enjoy the future, I was always looking back and weeping, and just generally finding life difficult it's so hard to explain unless you've been there and you know what I'm talking about as your suffering in the same way now!

Today I feel more able to cope when things do go wrong, I no longer look back and feel sad. It was though only a few months ago when I joined this site that it finally made me realise this and that by constantly grieving over my "old life" and the days I missed out on being a mum was doing me no good and that concentrating on the future is what's important.

Like you it's not just the RA I've had problems with I've had and still having many other medical problems but I can deal with them better now. Mine started by trying to conceive for ten years and the continuing problems of miscarriages and ectopic pregnancy and being told I would never have children.Then along comes RA and the constant operations I had to deal with it all came to much for me.

So I do understand and I feel for you as I know what it's like, please think about having the counselling it will help you.

I'm probably stronger now than I have ever been and you will be too.

take care



Hi Mandy. thanks so much for your reply and help. I'll think about it for a few days and then contact the GP. She said I only had to ring to let her know.

You have also had a bad time over the years but like you I do find being on this site very helpful and useful and I have gained a lot of information as well. (Hope I have also given some out!).

Best of luck and thanks again. LavendarLady


Hi Lavender Lady

oh my, you have been through it!

Not had counselling but I do think that after all you have been through it would be a good thing to do. Just one of those diseases is more than enough to cope with!

Make the call, you owe it to yourself, nothing ventured, nothing gained :)

This life nowadays often requires therapy even for healthy peeps!! :)

Bet your little puppy takes the edge off, what kind is it?

Hope your feeling brighter xx


I've had counselling over the years for one thing and another - family problems, issues with weight gain and body image, bullying at work and how to deal with the future faced with redundancy.

I'd recommend it, but you need to be confident in the person you see and - to get the most out of it - prepare to really be clear about what you'd like to aim for. For one thing its great to have someone to talk to without having to reciprocate, and to gradually build up understanding about yourself. Its helped me to deal with specific difficulties in my life but also to apply things to new situations.

So, Lavender Lady, I think that you'll probably find this really helpful in dealing with the various things that have befallen you. But like everything, the main value comes from within yourself, and a good counsellor will just help you to access what is there already - your inner strength.



me dear lavender you have so much!..Do take any support offered.. counselling etc and

please if I can help in any way please message me.

Gps and consultants often forget the whole person and how they are feeling. if its any consulation I DO know how you feel im struggling too with only ra and fibromyalgia. I havent had cancer, but dad has just be diagnosed with bladder cancer.. which cant be all succesfully removed.. The rest of that diagnosis is......

Im still awaiting physc counselling and pain management after nearly two years

Saw my luke warm consultant today.. reminded her still waiting.. got an apology!!. she doesnt really listen and my mothers unbiased opinion ... was that she does not inspire much confidence


Hi All, thanks so much for the support. Still very down this evening and didn't get much joy from my art class today either which is unusual. Will ring the GP and ask her to refer me to the psychologist. Lost my father 5 years ago and still grieve for him. He had prostate cancer but that didn't cause his death - it was a really nasty chest infection. I think it was pneumonia but the hospital wouldn't commit themselves to that. My one regret is that he died before I could get there. My mother died in 1986 (on her 69th birthday from cancer). Miss both of them still. I think it has all added up over the years.

Sorry to hear the problems you are having Summer with your consultant. I am lucky with mine - he's a real treasure and I can ring him any time. Will let you know how I get on but GP did say it would be a while before I got an appt! LavendarLady



I am a mental health nurse and i would recommend therapy to help go over the past troubles you have had, a lot of my patients find it fantastic to talk to someone who does not know them however some people find it hard going over old issues, but I def think you should try it. and good luck with it if you do, and with regards to depression I was reluctant to accept the help but I am on anti-depressants and I am a lot better you could not speak to me at one point without me bursting into tears but I am a lot happier now and I think that has also helped me come to terms with my RA. If you ever need any support please do message me and take care x


Hello there

I have been helped by counselling and psychotherapy in the past. You dont need to feel that you are not the one who is in control. You can shop around if you need too until you find some one who helps you to feel better about your life. We all find life tough and sometimes need abit of support to get through the difficult parts. Counselling can really help and also anti depressants( which I take too.)Figure Life is v short and there is no point suffering for the short time we are here. When nothing brings pleasure i think it means we are really getting down.Glad you have a good GP and hope you get something sorted soon.

Kind Regards

fiona x


Hope you start to feel better soon Lavender Lady - sending getle hugs your way.

I have often thought how strange it is that when we are given such a life changing diagnosis we are not offered any emotional support as standard - just taking it all in at the begining is overwhelming and I really feel that some counselling, and then an open door to return as you cope with all this disease has to throw at you, would be wonderful. I suppose it comes down to money..... it sounds like you have a good (and understanding) GP

Take care xx


Thanks everyone for your support and help. I have taken the first step in phoning the surgery and asking them to get my GP to refer me. No suggestion from her yesterday that I should have anti depressant tablets though. So may make another appt and discuss it with her. Will let you know how I get on but my GP says there may be quite a wait! LavendarLady xx


Hi Lavendar Lady

I too am very weepy at the moment. I went to my GP on Monday and he diagnosed moderate/severe depression. He, although loathed to give me any more medication, has given me amytriptyline (? spelling!) 10mg at night. I have found sleeping very difficult with pain and maudlin thoughts, he thought if I got a good night sleep that this would go part way to improved state of mind. Fatigue has been pretty rough. I would accept any help you are being offered. I wasn't offered counselling but am sure if I asked, he would sort it out although it takes quite a while I think.

I find playing with the band helps me. They help me with all the kit and I can still hold my instrument up for the most part!! We played at Brighton today in the sun for loads of picnicers and sun worshippers. Under a tree in the shade surrounded by friends was better than any medication though, I have to say!

Reading about all those of us who suffer with the blues makes me sad. Not fair is it?! Being upset makes you upset doesn't it. I hope you get some good help and that it makes you feel better able to cope.

lots of love, Caroline


Hi Caroline. Thanks for your message,. I did try Amytriptiline but it doesn't suit me and I was on the lowest dose and still had to halve the tablets (not easy) and still was a zombie until lunchtime the following day! I do go to an art class on a Wednesday afternoon which is lovely and I work Monday and Thursday mornings which also helps a lot. Plus the dogs to think about and my beloved cat. Feeling better this week and not so down. Think I have hauled myself up by my bootstraps again until the next "down" period. But I will still go and see the pyschologist once the appointment comes through. Just had two lunches the last 2 Sundays with friends which has been great but tiring and I suffered the next day as a result of doing too much. Must learn to pace myself! LavendarLady


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