Feeling Guilty

Hello, I have been off work for 4 weeks now due to illness which began with severe pain in my knee which I now know is two torn minuscus' and RA damage for which I am awaiting surgery. This was then trumped by a bad reaction to naproxen (given to me to help with the knee pain) and I ended up in A&E crawling on the floor because the pills had burnt through my stomach. I was then sent home (having also been diagnosed with a kidney infection and liver inflammation ) with the wrong antibiotics which meant I had to return to hospital with crippling kidney pain. This has all seemed to put me into a flare and my shoulders have been seizing up. I had steroids injected into them which helped at first but they are getting bad again already. I'm felling better than I was last week but my knee is still trashed and will be until surgery and my shoulders aren't good. I have just taken a look at my last bloods and my liver function is elevated so I'm going to see my GP. I'm anxious about going into work but having already had 4 weeks off, I feel really guilty about not going back in right now. I have never taken time off like this and have always just worked through the pain/illness but I am due to begin a new job in 3 weeks (something less physically demanding) and fear I will run myself ragged at my current job and not have the energy for my new one.

Should I stop being weak and go to work?

6 Replies

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  • Thats a hard one darling. Could you try to go back when your new job starts thereby giving you more time to recover. Hugs.xxxxx

  • Suki1088

    Its tempting to go back to work now especially as you are one who doesnt regularly take time off it goes against the grain. The danger is if you do this before you are ready then you are going to make yourself ill,go off sick again and may not be able to start your new job at the allocated start date.

    It would be better to have another 2 weeks off to get yourself a lot fitter,return to your old job for the last week to finish up and leave it in good order and then start your new job which is less physically demanding.

    You Are not being weak you are being sensible and your work colleagues will appreciate it too.

    Good luck and hope you are better soon.

    Crusee

    XXX

  • Stop being weak and don't go to work but actually look after yourself cos no one else is going to do it for you..... you're having a rough time at the moment and there is no shame in that - you need time so take time is my advice.

    All the best

    Ali

    P.s. I've just read my reply back to me and it sounds a bit harsh... I've written it with the best intentions and compassion so apologies if I come on a bit strong.

  • Dont go back to work - I worked from aged 15 & still working now (aged 66) the last 5yrs I recuced to a 4day then 3day working week. I was a very conscientious worker never off work unless absolutely necessary. However I ket suffering with violet vomitting & diarrhoea & pains in my stomach on a monthly basis & I kept losing weight. Last Nov was the worst & Im sure all the painkillers I was taking caused the lining of my stomach to burn or puncture. After several tests & stopping ALL painkillers I am now gradually getting better although I now suffer with a build up of acid in my stomach & have to take Omeprozole.

    So I have been more or less off work since Nov I had 2wks off then managed to go bk 2wks but off another 4wks & Doc extended it another 4wks. Im waiting for Homecare team to come out & start me on Humira which keeps getting delayed if I get a cough or cold.

    So Im due to return to work nxt Tues but hopefully 1st injection on Mo 13th. So I will contact my Doc to get a further sicknote as I am aching all over with being on no medication since 23rd Dec. I dont feel guilty at all now as Im genuinely ill & have always worked over and above expectations in every job I have done.

  • Thank you all for your input. I appreciate you taking the time to 'listen' to me and offer your helpful suggestions.

    I have come into work today ( writing this on my break) However, my boss Is really understanding and sympathetic and doesn't have any expectations of me right now so I am free to leave when I need to and I'm not committing myself to any projects and definitely nothing physical at the moment. I think seeing workmates has pulled me out of a depressive abyss. I'm going to take each day slowly, leave when I need to and see how I go.

  • Hi Martinilady,

    Your response really hit home for me. I too have worked since I was 15 I was diagnosed at 16 (now 28) and have never taken time out apart from the odd day. I would juggle school with a part time job and then my mum would come and collect me in the car. Sometimes she would have to carry me into the house because my ankles would be so inflamed. I think at that stage I was still in major denial that this thing had taken over my life and I was determined to do everything I wanted. I still have tendencies to drift back to that way of thinking and for that reason have never really allowed myself time to breathe. Distracting myself with work means I don't have to face it and all its ugliness. Now have been forced to face it. I waiting for surgery and as I explained my recent episode has knocked me for six. I have to face it!

    I really hope you get your Humira shots and start to feel better. I am also off my DMARD's due to being so ill and I am waiting to restart.

    Thanks Again

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