I haven't been on in ages, for a few reasons. Firstly my lovely wee Daddy of 92 died on Nov 22nd. He was was of an advanced age but was still driving and out everyday buying in what was needed for the house, very active and his mind was as sharp if not sharper than my own. I'm an only girl so I was a 'Daddy's girl' and very close to him and I had my arm around his head when he died.
I wish I could say he died with peace and dignity but I'm sorry to say that wasn't the case. I won't go into the details but it was not a site I ever wish to see ever again. While I couldn't fault the medical staff (nurses and young doctors) that remained at his side (some who stayed well past their home time to continue to nurse him to the end) from 4 in the morning until his death at half past five in the evening, it seems to me that some of the consultants are more interested in keeping a body living than in how a man of 92 should end his days. In the end I lost the head and told them to leave my daddy alone and just let him die with dignity, which he did with his loving family around him. I have four brothers in America but only two were able to get home for the wake and funeral. His three great-children took part in his Requim and his son, who is a priest, officiated. Even though I'm an atheist this 30 odd years it was moving, lighthearted and memorable. As wakes go he had a good one, lots of visitors telling yarns about him, memories cherished and shared and amazement at how 'young' he was for a man of his age. Many described him as a wee gentleman......I had to laugh when I thought how he would giggle at being referred to as a wee gentlemen.......believe me he would have giggled!
As for myself I'm just not well and haven't been since September. I have on going non symptomatic UTI that no amount of antibiotics are shifting. The result is that I'm suffering chronic fatigue, nausea and the strangest thing has happened too, I've gone off things that I normally would love......wine, coffee, chocolate, in fact I've sort of stopped eating. I have gone down at least one size, that's how I measure weight loss or gain as I won't have scales about the house. I eat enough to keep me alive but I'm never hungry nor do I ever 'fancy something', know that I mean? I eat one meal a day and try to make it as healthy as possible. I sort of live on soup and salad these days.
I'm sure this is because of the on going infection and once it is finally sorted I'll start eating again and I'll find that one size I lost and put it back on again!
Of course all this infection is stopping me from getting my gold injections that I have been waiting on since August. Right now I haven't the energy to get to worked up about it, I'm just drained these days. No Christmas this year for me either, a few things for the grandchildren and dinner on Christmas Day and St Stephens Day (Boxing Day). I was to get some decorating done in the bungalow in the New Year but have postponed it for a while, I'm just sooooo tired and couldn't bare the thought of all the disruption, maybe later on I need the year....we'll see.
Anyhow, my friends, I just wanted to let you know that I'm alive and kicking, if only just. I wish you all a lovely and healthy Christmas and New Year. I'll be glad to see the end of 2016. XX