Waiting for a flare

After a long painful journey with cancer, my father died peacefully on September 11th 2015. I just assumed I was going to go into a major flare this week. I sat around waiting for it...a week has past and although I miss my dad, I feel the sulfasalize is still working...I'm kind of numb, and greatful that I haven't gone into a painful flare.

Love you Daddy,


23 Replies

  • Big hugs and so sorry for your loss .... In time no doubt a flare will materialise but try and not think about it ...... I don't know what advice to give re your fathers passing as it isn't something you can advice on.... Just chin up think of all the good times and don't forget him ... I'm sure he will be around you and never far away in spirit .... All my love and sincere condolences xxxx

  • Hi Sue, My deepest sympathy to you with the loss of your dad. I really hope the sulfa is working for you and you don't get that big flare as it will be the last thing you need right now. Best wishes to you xxx

  • Hi Suzannedale, so sorry for your loss. My heart and thoughts are with you at this sad time. Gentle hug Babs x

  • Sorry on the loss of your dad. He is out of pain now and it seems your not going into a flare either.Hugs from me.xxx

  • Big gentle hugs, deepest condolences for you loss. You will find that you will go through many stages of grief but embrace them all you need them to get over your loss. I do hope you dot get a flair but try not to dwell on it. Take care, thinking of you. Xx

  • Sorry for your loss.

    Big hug


  • I'm so very sorry for your loss. I lost my father to cancer a little over a year ago. I never had a flare afterwards but I found myself profoundly exhausted for months. Caring for and/or worrying about a terminally ill loved one takes a great deal of energy and can be depleting. I guess time will tell just how you might be affected. I hope you have the circumstances to take good care of yourself a get a lot of rest. My heart goes out to you and I wish you all the best.

  • I have had a number of flare ups in the past months. The way to control if I found was to increase my Predsolone to 20 mg. a day for 5 days, then 15mg for 5 days then 10 mg for 5 days and then back to my usual dose of 7 1/2 mg. It works for me.

    All the best


  • Sorry to hear about your dad keep your chin up xDawn

  • My sympathy for you & your family Sue. You always miss your dad but memories have been forged & they stay with you. You just need to get through the tough time & I really hope the SSZ keeps you from going downhill. x

  • So sorry to learn of your loss Sue. Bereavement is always tough but in my experience autoimmune disease flares don't always correspond with times of emotional trauma, despite me expecting them to. For me it's more a cumulative thing.

    But also the upside of taking these drugs is that, if you can tolerate them, they are often very effective at tackling the disease process. Please take care and be as gentle with yourself as possible - as others have said there are many stages of grief to go through but it does get better. Txx

  • Hello Sue, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your dad .

    I lost my dad two years ago end was very surprised to not be hit with a flare . This is only my theory and I will try to make sense. For me, there are two types of stress (when I say stress I mean any negative emotion whether that is guilt, grief, loneliness, pain or even boredom).

    If I feel stress which is out of my control then I am likely to flare, when the situation is at a point where I am feeling unable to do anything about. For instance my work situation lately has caused several flares and I have recently resigned, now I feel in control and able to take steps to improve my career.

    The change of career is stressful however in a positive way (my positive stress) because I am taking control and leaving our environment where I felt vulnerable.

    When I lost my dad I grieved as you should , don't bottle up any emotions and most importantly don't feel any guilt , I say this because when we lose a loved one we normally find some way off feeling guilty! It was hard of course , I still feel emotional after losing my mum seven years ago and don't think that will ever go away. I believe the guilt and stress I felt when loosing my mum may have led to igniting my RA.

    I hope I make sense. No wonder your feeling numb.

    I love how you finished your question 💜 x

  • Hi Wiliby, your theory makes total sense to me. When I've considered when my current symptoms progressed to they level they are at now it was at a time when I was under an awful lot of personal, work, family stress. Every new symptom was treated as a standalone, so no tests and no diagnosis. I've managed (through hard work and resilience) to overcome my "stressors" and now feel mentally back to the confident, capable person I used to be. I feel I have finally taken back control of "me" and it is an exhilarating feeling. I know my nearest and dearest have gotten used to my being incapable, unable to cope, needing my life and finances managed for me and they are now of course struggling with the rejuvenated me - even though my health is still bad. But I am strong enough now to say if you don't like it lump it. Thanks for putting it all into words for me. Babs x

  • Hi Babs, glad your taking control 😁.. it's amazing how much it changes everything!

    I've become 'invisible' at work since diagnosis, I've have so much to give if only they'd take their heads out their own........bottoms 😆

    It is exhilarating!! Hope you get some relief from your pain soon xx

  • I lost my mum just over a year ago, after a difficult year and a horrendous last 6 days, and like you I was convinced that it would impact on me physically as well as emotionally. But it didn't. I think Wiliby has put her finger on it, as there's a big difference in types of stress, and although I was sad & grieving it was time for her to go.

    Numb is a good description. I hope it wears off slowly and allows you to grieve at your own pace. It takes a long time, and still catches me out from time to time. So sympathy, and fingers crossed that the SSZ just keeps getting better.

  • So sorry for your loss. Gentle hugs to you during this time.

  • Sorry to hear about day sending you hugs,xxx

  • Thank you all for your kind words. I am truly touched by all the well wishes.

    Take care


  • Oh Sue I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. You must miss him dreadfully I pray that your medication continues to work and it allows you to focus on working through your grief.

    Big hugs my darling x

  • My condolences to you and your family. I hope you find strength in the happy memories you have from over the years. God bless you.


  • Take courrage to face,let the departed soul REST IN PEACE.

  • So sorry to hear of your loss. X

  • Thinking of you at this very sad time. I lost my dad several years ago now and still miss him but I do retain many happy memories. He gave so much to my life especially my intense love of Classical music and Italian opera. I am sure you have many happy memories too. xx

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