HELP BADLY WANTED ...end of Tether and RA, OA and Ost... - NRAS

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HELP BADLY WANTED ...end of Tether and RA, OA and Osteoporosis etc getting worse cos of stress.

beauty96 profile image
20 Replies

My husband passed away on July 8th. It was our 49th Wedding Anniversary. What I am asking for is.....I have phoned Cruse Bereavement up in July [they are in Boston]and told I had to wait for three months. Now it is four and getting on for five and still no answers. GP suggested the Mental Health Team but there is a long wait, and I also have qualifications in Counselling, Psychology etc. I can't afford Private therapist cos of my income coming down a lot. Does anyone on here, know where to go from here. I need a strong well qualified person to help me out. I am at the end of my tether. 74 and it is eating into me. I know my RA, OA and osteoporosis are worse cos of stress. I am eating well etc. But desperate and don't want another breakdown, my first at 14. Anyone help me. I live in coastal Lincolnshire.

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beauty96
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Philip profile image
Philip

Morning, you sound like the world is coming to an end ( a lot of people would say at last) like you say stress is making you very poorly and can bring on many things, normally i would find something to take my mind of things, maybe a cross word puzzle or something on the telly, even run round the naked Lol, if it helps do it. I often phone Samaritans when i cant sort things out in my head, they wonderful people to talk to and get your feeling much better.

The number is free phone.

116123 free phone Samaritans.

Astral profile image
Astral

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your husband and are suffering so much. Cruse have a freephone helpline where thay have trained volunteers to talk things through with anyone who has suffered a bereavement. They are open Monday to Friday 9.30 to 5pm.

The number is 0808 808 1677.

Unfortunately they are not open weekends but give them a ring tomorrow, I hope you can get some help.

beauty96 profile image
beauty96 in reply toAstral

Yes I have spoken to them. I cannaot understand why I have to wait four months. When I worked in the field, like Aleppo type place, [I was never there] I was trained to put horrible things in compartments in my brain and shut it off. Malcolm has caused me to think differently. I can shut it out, gosh it is 30 years or more since I did such work. I feel ready to unwind but honestly don't know how. Three breakdowns and I always fear another. Have a high IQ that does not help. I am looking for a one to one help. Cruse on the phone have been really kind. So have the Sams. I can't cry I just shut it off.

Em13 profile image
Em13

Beauty, I am close by and if it is any help, we can talk.

I'm not a professional, but Cruse volunteers are trained to listen more than anything else.

beauty96 profile image
beauty96 in reply toEm13

Yes I knew that. I am not sure what to do. Adult care and others all have long waiting lists. I know that cos people come to me for help. I can't help myself. I will private message you.

Ali_H profile image
Ali_H

Hi,

The Let's Talk service is a good NHS service and you can self refer. I've had phone and face to face support from them.

Try ringing 0115 8760157 but that's the Leicestershire/Nottinghamshire number and I can't find the Lincolnshire one but these may be able to steer you towards a more readily available service.

01522 546168 Is the number for the Lincoln centre for grief and loss and they may be able to help.

Also because of your age you might get support from the Lincoln Age concern wellbeing response service on 01522 782 140 Again you can self refer to this service.

In the meantime NRAS helpline is there to tap into and we are here to encourage and support the best we can.

This first xmas and winter for you will be tough so do tap into your support networks regularly... even if it's only to share a virtual coffee with your HU-NRAS friends.

Keep warm

Ali

beauty96 profile image
beauty96 in reply toAli_H

Thank you Ali, at least some signposts I will phone and see how far I get.

Ali_H profile image
Ali_H

Hey girl you know where we are.... and on a completely different note.. I have some shoulder impingement at present and it's kinda but not really responding to physio... any pearls of wisdom for me from your experience or any tai chi exercises that might help?

Cheers

Ali

beauty96 profile image
beauty96 in reply toAli_H

If near Skegness Tai chi can help come and join us ---- but you need the right tutor who understands what is wrong. The start off point is simple swinging of the arm. If it hurts cut down the exercise till it does not hurt then go a millimetre more each day. Secondly don't lean on that side in bed. Cos it will make it worse. Thirdly wear a blouse etc and poke the arm into it so it is right angles to the body to rest it. Like a sling but don't use one of those, it rests the arm allowing healing to begin. pm me if you want to.

Ali_H profile image
Ali_H

Cheers,

Alas nowhere near Skegness... West of Rutland!

I'll add some gentle arm swinging to my regime and see if it helps.

Funny enough it is on the side I like to lie on so will wake up on that side even if I fell asleep on the other side!

Cheers

Ali

beauty96 profile image
beauty96 in reply toAli_H

If I can help more just let me know. When it starts to get better one changes the exercises.

Ali_H profile image
Ali_H

😎

Contact your local hospice they usually do counciling

beauty96 profile image
beauty96 in reply to

thks will do. Got to get some help from somewhere.

in reply tobeauty96

Gone through the same it dose get better it's so hard I am still try to find my place in the world again and battling these conditions and being lonley for the first time in my life this site has really been my lifeline so much help and uplifting comments.

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I can't advise you, but I can send you gentle hugs.

beauty96 profile image
beauty96 in reply to

Thank you. Been just over four months trying to get help. Bless you

Fra22-57 profile image
Fra22-57

Aww bless you . It's hard enough having these diseases without having so much grief.Having such a great loss will add to your stress and make you worse .

I moan at my husband but more so in frustration because I can't do the things he does for me.I don't know what I would do without him.

My advice would be to keep ringing them and pour your distress on them.You need help badly.

Do you not have family that could step in and help you.I live Lincolnshire but north

Thinking of you x

beauty96 profile image
beauty96 in reply toFra22-57

Yes I am in Skegness. My brother lives in Bedford and suffers from Prostate Cancer. I am going there for Christmas.

Fra22-57 profile image
Fra22-57 in reply tobeauty96

That will be good for you so you are not on your own.The first xmas etc is always the worst.

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