"I'm fine thanks" - But am I?....

Why is that when we meet someone that we haven't seen for a while (or you may see them quite often )

They say "Hello how are you"

We say, "Fine thanks" FINE! what sort of word is that when inside we feel absolutely terrible. Don't know which joint hurts the most so tired you could sleep standing up, I really could go on,...and we say "I'm fine thanks"

Is it because we just can't be bothered or just know that they're not really interested just being polite, and...

even when you do tell them a little before you even finish you get that classic line...

"But you look ok"

I know I'm always saying it but sometimes I want to pour my heart out and tell them how I really do feel and other times I just can't be bothered to talk either.No pleasing me I suppose.

That's what's good about this site i suppose I can talk when I want about what I want.

Thank you

xxx

[Hidden]

Hello Mand

I find I meet people and they say...Oh you look so well...so then I can't say how I feel because I don't want to make them feel awkward.... and yes I agree this site is brilliant for just letting it all out long may we blog xx

[Hidden]

know how you both feel... not much outward signs unless I am wearing hand splints or wandering round in bare feet/ socks, no shoes cos feet hurt, I think most people have no concept, its not like seeing some one with a leg in plaster, or in a wheelchair, sorry if any one reads this finds anything i have said offensive or if they are in a wheelchair ,alison

[Hidden]

Hi Alison, your right it's like if you can't see it your ok.

Sometimes I need my stick other days I don't but people don't seem to understand that either, it's like "oh you were ok the other day" just because I hadn't got them them. Same with splints etc. Just have to put up with it I suppose, the only one's to understand are the one's going through the same thing like the one's on this site I suppose.

mand xx

[Hidden]

Hmmm it's this "looks ok" bit isn't it. I popped to the lambing shed this morning for a quick look at the new lambies. David said, you will have to cock your leg over the hurdles I've tied them up.. Errrr well.... hummmmm.... actually I can't.

So he helps me lift my one leg up and over, but it aint long enough to touch the other side. So there I am akimbo with the hurdle between my legs and I can't move one way or another! He says now just let your foot drop onto the floor the other side. ahhh hip,... oh.... knee, can't move foot as this will entail twisting my knee slightly... oohhhh sorry, can't. BIg man lifts all xxx stone of me over to the other side. Crickey... didn't know it was that bad! Thank you. but of course I look fine!

It's good to moan on here isn't it..... keep posting and take care x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Julie, always something to share with us, lovely. Keeps me sane!!

mand xx

[emandedmum]

Do not even get me started on this...3 yrs on and still the insensitive comments made when I was very ill cut like a knife. Sometimes it is extremely difficult to forgive and forget those who didn't care enough at the time to even come and see for themselves before making judgements. Nuff said. Rant over .

[Hidden in reply to emandedmum]

I know exactly what you mean Jo, some of the people I had problems with are members of my own family. I had to take one of them with me when going to see the consultant for him to explain how things were and only then did they actually realize.

mand xx

[emandedmum in reply to Hidden]

At least they came around to it, no hope here...head and brick wall come to mind!!

[Hidden in reply to emandedmum]

It took a very long time though Jo and they will get to understand I'm sure.

If you can get your partner to understand your half way there I'm sure the others will follow. In fact I know they will, how long it will take though,well, that's another question!

I do feel for you if your having trouble to get hem to understand your RA because it is very difficult.

Having said all this though don't put all you energy in trying to get them to understand your RA, concentrate on yourself!

mand xx

[emandedmum in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Mand, I have given up with the idea of enlightening these poor souls, if they were really that interested then they would want to find out without me having to push the subject, not that I do!! As you say I have more pressing matters

[Lorrayne]

I have always thought exactly the same as all comments above, and yes thank you, I'm fine! .... not.

Julie you do make me laugh! Did you get out ok? or did hubby put his back out and just undo the string?

[Jojo06]

I often get the question "how are you?", from work collegues I've been off for 18months now. When I got this question recently my reply was.." I'm alive thanks"...

[Hidden]

Wow, bet they didn't know what to reply to that one.

mand xx

[Tricia-P]

Hi All

Mand you are so right, I went to the supermarche today half way round I was just about in the trolley trying to stop my feet from hurting so much, scooting along with each one in turn, when this stupid woman who lives aound the corner from us whom I'm sure knows I have RA. Said hello you look well....................... I rest my case

Best wishes

positive thoughts gentle hugs to all

Tricia

[Hidden]

If we could only feel the "way we look"

I'm sure life wouldn't be half as bad.

mand xx

[cougar67]

I agree with all of the comments posted. I get so frustrated with it all because on the outside I look ok and it's not always visible to the eye. I honestly believe that if the people genuinely cared for you they would want to find out more about the disease and how it can affect someone. I dumped a boyfriend not long ago as he clearly didn't get what I have and was moaning about having to have an operation to remove a corn and became so indignant when I said I would gladly swap places and my getting a bit defensive when he failed to understand the significance of what us lot have to put up with.

[denvajade]

hi guys I know what you mean, I have Fibro,RA, depression. bone marrow cancer,and a huge stomach/digestive disorder that no one can sought out and my mother in law who lives with us said she does not want me to talk about my health again.Does she not know it consumes every moment of my life. I have friends that I know longer talk about myself to them as they to cant deal with it, even my husband said last night its all too hard for him, I replied how do you think it is for me" I AM LIVING IT" OH WELL I JUST CARRYING ON COMING TO THIS SITE.