Day 10 - oh god rollercoaster

[Betty8787]

I slept in today which I haven’t been able to do for sooo long. Instantly felt guilty. Worked out to try get back into my healthy routines that make me feel good.

I msgd my boy mate and he hasn’t replied so I give up now. He obviously doesn’t want to be friends anymore. Having a fag won’t change that (although he hated smoking so thought he’d be my number one support!!)

Been told today to just smoke because I’m

Clearly miserable. Errrr I’m trying to kick a 16 year habit so I might be more tired and appear ‘miserable’ but I’m not sure how because I’m loving the sense of smell and taste?! How easily I can breathe. I tried my ‘new’ lungs out today and ran 5K in 28 mins!!! That’s a PR for me!! So chuffed!

Had a pamper session in the bath - all the smells and feels made me so happy. I’m also learning about ‘boundaries’ and I think it’s clear I need to implement some new boundaries for myself and other people whilst I change my life for the better! The more people tell me this is wrong the more my heels are going to be pushed. I will NOT GIVE GIVING UP SMOKING just to appease people because I’m slightly more sensitive! Get over it. I’m accomplishing and doing my best!

Rant over. Love this place to vent and for things to look back on...

But should I just smoke? Then everyone will be my friend again? No smoking wasn’t the issue....smoking does not fix things!!!! Nicotine just likes to trick you into thinking it does! Only you can fix things and control what you do

[Battypatty92]

Hi Betty! I'm finishing my tenth day too, we are on the same smoke free schedule 😁😁.

Yeah my boyfriend isn't overly supportive he just leaves me to it and doesn't clock on when I have groggy moments, whereas I would be a little cheerleader for him if the tables were turned! But these last ten days have made me realise we don't need to quit for other people just ourselves ❤️.

Has your first ten days smoke free been what you were expecting? 😊

[Betty8787 in reply to Battypatty92]

Eeeep well done! Does it feel like 10 days to you?!

Sorry. I guess that’s why I vent on here because unless you’ve done it then sometimes people can’t empathise at all. I haven’t missed smoking. Mentally I am happy with quitting smoking it’s just the physical side I can’t control? Like my first 4/5 days I had flu like fatigue?

My taste and sense of smell is unreal! And the exercise now I’ve got more energy this week is amazing.

How about you? Always here for a chat!

[Battypatty92 in reply to Betty8787]

Thank you well done to you too 😏😁😁. Nah to be honest it doesn't feel longer or shorter than 10 days - I just feel like I'm on pause right now.. Working from home in lock down isn't helping that feeling though 😂. But that's why I thought now would be an ideal time, I was mentally ready and this is the only time I'll never have to worry about having to commute to work (I'd panic about feeling rough driving on the motorway for an hour each way!) and having to be around others at work.

Has it felt like ten days to you??

Yeah I've been surprised that mentally I've barely had to consciously distract myself from wanting a cig. I thought I was so addicted I would be struggling constantly! I haven't felt any physical differences (bad or positive) so far but I think that's cause I'm using patches so still getting nicotine in my system? I'm on such admiration that you're doing cold turkey! I wonder if that means you'll 'recover' quicker than me using my method!

I've been reading your posts and I'm so unfit, once I get a few more weeks in I want to try and use my improved lungs like you have 😁😁.