Apart from the health issues what bugged me most about smoking was the shame. I used to love playing computer games and smoking at the same time. This would leave lovely brown stains on the fingers of my left hand. At business meetings I'd have to remember to keep my left hand under the table. It was so bad I started putting plasters on my fingers to lessen the staining, I spent a lot of money on plasters. I remember once at work someone wondering if there was a fire somewhere, but the smell was me, the smoke in my hair, it smelt like a charred forest. Smoking made me feel weak, all these get up and go people but I just wanted to get back to my room and smoke. The tables have turned. I went to watch the Lions play the All Blacks in the pub last weekend and at half time the smokers went into the garden to have a puff. For a moment I felt superior, but then I felt sorry for them. They looked wrecked, they shambled, they are victims and they are hooked.
I repeat and I will repeat until the day I die without fear of any consequences – cigarette manufacturers should be had up for murder, they made cigarettes addictive and never bothered to count the cost of how many people they killed and lives they ruined. And they are still doing it.
moments from my smoking past i regret
Day 45. Rebuilding :o
Taunted by "take it or leave it" smokers?
