Scary day ahead!

I had an horrendous day yesterday and woke up this morning not one bit better. I'm very agitated and feeling very shaky, I can not let this take over me! I will not allow this to grow any legs, I will not allow myself to go back to depression and sad thoughts

Caffeine stops straight away, camomile tea is back to stay.... And Im going back to day one, one minute at the time, one hour after, one day. I'm struggling big time, but I am not going to let this take over all the work I've done.

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  • Ah mmaya, I don't know what advice to give you, why is this happening?? What about booking yourself in for a massage this afternoon if you can take time off work or something else that you know will relax you, wishing you strength to get passed this, you can do it, hopefully some of the more senior posters will be online soon to give you advice...sorry I am not much help to you....

  • Hello again Mmaya.

    Firstly I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard and stressful time right now but this probably isn't just because you're depriving yourself of cigarettes. We recovering smokers always feel that a cigarette helps calm any difficult situation we have to face but of course we know deep down that it doesn't (even if it gives us a few moments of false relief).

    You've come too far to allow yourself to go back to square one so take a step back and take a clear look at what's going on. I know it's a cliche but sitting down in a quiet place and taking a few slow, long deep breaths does sometimes work in moments of panic so try that for starters. Do something to take your mind off the immediate situation - get out and about, do anything at all to distract you away from the problems (and the cigarettes) and try to keep yourself busy. Just remember that whatever's going on (whether it be a family problem you're worrying about or the quit) that it will get dealt with and pass whether you allow it to worry you to death or not. As for the smoking, well I know you would be mortified if you gave in now after getting so far.

    Just try to take it easy Mmaya. If you've got any really close friends that you can share your feelings with and trust then have a talk with them - sometimes sharing your troubles does help.

    You know you can always come on here and talk, or even pm me if you need to.

    Don't let yourself be fooled into thinking that smoking is the answer to anything though because I can promise you it isn't.

    Keep your chin up and stay strong.

    Sending cyber hugs to you.xx

  • Ah linda it's not the sadness yet, more like a lunatic, I was like a bull this morning and I did take my pills. Sweet jesus, I managed to calm down eventually but even my heart felt like it was going to explode. The good thing is I have a really nice lad sitting across from me at work, he is one of those people that even if the house was on fire, he would leave peacefully, no stress. He kind of knew that I wasn't well today so kept messing around and making fun of me drinking too much water...and eventually, it stopped.

  • Oh Mmaya, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. I think I know how you'll feeling.

    it's easy for us to say, but you just have to get through this day anyway you can. Remember you post about treating this quit very seriously and telling your boss you were having treatment. Look it back up. It was a really good post.

    Today is your emergency and you have to treat it as such. If you have to leave work do so. If you have to go to bed and cry, do so.

    Go and a see a doctor, if you can

    Talk to someone.

    Whatever it takes

    We're all here for you

    Xxx

  • Elizabeth, I will not fail this time. There is no way I will ever ever try again, so might as well get it done.

  • Hey guys, survived so far, didn't have any coffee this morning and had about 2 l of water so far. I've calm down a good bit from yesterday. ...but it comes to show that I cannot put guards down. I'm feeling a bit better this afternoon, certainly won't touch coffee any time soon and will have to concentrate on what I am doing if I want to keep going.

    Thank you all for your very kind words.

  • Home time now, won't have to go to work tomorrow thank God. I'm much calmer this evening, just to clarify this was one of those typical episodes in rehab. The junkie was not able to deal with reality without a fix. I'm happy that I didn't smoke. Another battle won, but very scary... I was very close to relapse this morning. I know at this stage of the quit these days don't happen so many times but they are impossible to deal with. I know one will not be just one, it will be a pack...and then another. I will not fall for that!

  • Well you rode out the storm and things should calm down. It's good to hear you sounding more relaxed and confident again.

    There are so many triggers that unnerve us while we're on this quit mission so I think we just have to keep our guard up all the time even though we may think we have things under control where smoking is concerned

    You will not fail Mmaya, of that I am sure but I think we're all allowed a wobble or two along the way - God knows, I've had plenty in my time.

    Onwards and upwards. xx

  • Mmaya..Wow you are really fighting this one and I am so glad you are staying so strong and want this quit so bad. Very well done !!

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