I had a very decent day yesterday and even managed to have two beers last night without smoking. Alcohol and smoking always go hand in hand with me and this is something I will need to conquer. Funny thing is I don't drink a lot and almost never drink in the house at home. My wife is the same. Anyway, every time I quit smoking I end up wanting a beer. Strange.
I can never quite work myself out. Every time I go on a quit and get past the first 24 hours I find myself enjoying not smoking and focus totally on the benefits rather than what I might be missing. The worrying thing is I have been here before at this stage feeling great and being really positive only to blow it all and smoke. Why I do not know.
The longest period I have ever went without smoking was about the 70 day mark. At that point I thought I would never smoke again yet did within a few days. The lesson for me is to never disrespect the hold nicotine has over us all. Smoking makes nothing better for me. It is the easy way out and in many respects is a form of self harm.
I haven't spent any money in the past three days other than the couple of pounds spent taking my eldest son to swimming yesterday morning. When I think of the money that smoking has taken from me it is terribly bad. To think about that money sitting in a bank account somewhere.
I am quitting cold turkey and this has always been my preferred method. In the past I have read Allan Car which was great for making me stop just not staying stopped. I suppose that has always been the hurdle I have failed at - staying stopped. This time will be different.
I must admit to eating an incredible amount of rubbish yesterday and in particular last night. Ice cream is my weakness. I love it and have no switch in my head which says STOP EATING.
My whole focus at this point is seeing myself lying at the pool on holiday in less than three weeks from now as a non-smoker in a relaxed atmosphere and in a relaxed state of mind. Not stressed out because I want to sneak away to have a smoke. I just want to enjoy the holiday with my wife and kids as a non-smoker. No bad moods, no lack of patience, no arguments just a happy relaxed state. That is all I want.