This Quit Needs To Be Final - Day 4-7

I had a very decent day yesterday and even managed to have two beers last night without smoking. Alcohol and smoking always go hand in hand with me and this is something I will need to conquer. Funny thing is I don't drink a lot and almost never drink in the house at home. My wife is the same. Anyway, every time I quit smoking I end up wanting a beer. Strange.

I can never quite work myself out. Every time I go on a quit and get past the first 24 hours I find myself enjoying not smoking and focus totally on the benefits rather than what I might be missing. The worrying thing is I have been here before at this stage feeling great and being really positive only to blow it all and smoke. Why I do not know.

The longest period I have ever went without smoking was about the 70 day mark. At that point I thought I would never smoke again yet did within a few days. The lesson for me is to never disrespect the hold nicotine has over us all. Smoking makes nothing better for me. It is the easy way out and in many respects is a form of self harm.

I haven't spent any money in the past three days other than the couple of pounds spent taking my eldest son to swimming yesterday morning. When I think of the money that smoking has taken from me it is terribly bad. To think about that money sitting in a bank account somewhere.

I am quitting cold turkey and this has always been my preferred method. In the past I have read Allan Car which was great for making me stop just not staying stopped. I suppose that has always been the hurdle I have failed at - staying stopped. This time will be different.

I must admit to eating an incredible amount of rubbish yesterday and in particular last night. Ice cream is my weakness. I love it and have no switch in my head which says STOP EATING.

My whole focus at this point is seeing myself lying at the pool on holiday in less than three weeks from now as a non-smoker in a relaxed atmosphere and in a relaxed state of mind. Not stressed out because I want to sneak away to have a smoke. I just want to enjoy the holiday with my wife and kids as a non-smoker. No bad moods, no lack of patience, no arguments just a happy relaxed state. That is all I want.

12 Replies

  • If you ever find the stop eating button, tell me where it is! I was feeling good about not smoking until I went for my diabetic review and they told me off for having high sugar levels. I knew I was eating too much but I figured that it had to be better than smoking. The nurse's attitude really made me want to start smoking again but so far I haven't. I hope you make it to your holiday, I think it helps to have a goal in mind.

  • First big major struggle where I have considered smoking. Been out shopping with the wife which is always stressful anyway and thoughts of smoking seemed to take over my brain for what seemed like ages. Got a grip of myself now and smoking is not the answer - smoking is the problem.

  • Toughest day today by far. So much self pity, self doubt. Only so much chocolate to eat.

    Historically, I turn a corner between day 10 - 14. The effort today gets me closer to where I want to be. Smoking today would take me back to the place I want to escape from.

    Also, has anyone ever gave in and bought cigs then smoked one and agreed that it was a good decision to do so. I haven't every time I have caved I instantly regretted it. Sadly, my memories of such times are devoid of great detail. Funny that.

    Bedtime soon. Tomorrow may well be my greatest ever day and how I felt today won't matter.

    Thanks for the support from all you kind folks.

  • Tomso, you know you got this beaten, hang in there and repeat NOPE over and over and do the deep breathes they really help. Week 1 and 2 are both pretty tough at least they were for me but my single strongest crave I felt was in week 3. That I wasn't expecting, not a physical crave but a strong mental crave and no way was I letting that get the better of me. Chin up, deep breathes, exhale slowly, now do it again and again till the crave screws off. Good job.

  • Day 5 - Over 100 hours into my quit now and glad to have that time without smoking in the bank. Yesterday wasn't great but I have put that behind me now and today has been fine so far. I just need to watch what I eat. Most quits are abandoned because of crazy weight gain so I know that I must make changes this time. I have planned in my head what I will do today to tackle the situation and change things up. At lunch time today I am gong out for a long walk to clear the head and get some beautiful fresh, clean air into my lungs. No matter how tired I am tonight after work I will be going out for a run or to the gym because if I am doing that I am not sitting on the couch stuffing my face. Need to keep active. My goal is to improve my overall fitness and health.

  • True to my word I have just come back from a nice long walk. I have had a tasty yet small lunch and because of those two little disciplines I feel great. A little bit of effort and planning for a big return. Usually lunch would consist of me going out in my car and smoking some cigs then eating a few oranges to disguise the smell and come back to my desk with a coffee to further disguise the smell. All of that sounds stressful compared to the nice relaxing lunch time I have just had.

  • Tomso, I'm at 108 days, and I've put on 14lbs. I am now starting to address that, but I just let it go for a good while, as it had to be better than smoking. My alcohol intake also increased, which it doesn't sound as if you have, which also added to my weight increase. So, I'm starting to rein that in.

    I wonder as well if the 70 days, just over two months, is the point where you move into the mundanity of reality. It's no longer the excitement of the quit, it's just what you do everyday.............not smoke. If you start again at that point, you will eventually just face the mundanity of a different reality, that of a smoker, but with a few possible things on the side like, horrendous illnesses, physical deterioration and on.

    I'm going through that at the moment, adapting to my new 'normal' and it is a bit boring. How exciting the chopping and changing between not smoking to starting again to then feeling we should stop, and round and round and round. As a non-smoker, this is one merry-go-round we won't be riding again. We have to find a different one.

    All the best to you.

  • Thanks for all the kind words folks. Much appreciated.

    I was just reading Walkabouts post there about putting on 14lbs just as I was polishing off a large bag of fruit pastels. I am more of a chocolate man most days but during a quit I tend to eat sweets. Stuff like skittles only get bought when the cigs don't.

    I had a decent day today. The best thing for me today is the not smoking in the car on the way to and from work. I would smoke lots in the car and then drive for ages with all the windows down. I could go through loads of air fresheners.

    I was more than comfortable today with both journeys without smoking and that sits well with me.

  • Day 6 - Really cannot believe it will be one week quit as of tomorrow night. That has been a fast week. I just need to remain positive. I am not giving anything up. Each day I am getting healthier, wealthier, becoming less stressed, more peaceful and gaining an overall feeling of happiness and contentment. I dare to dream what it must be like to be a year smoke free and for it to be effortless. I would love nothing more.

  • You're on your way there. It will be rocky at times, but you're on your way.

  • Yes as walkabout says youre on the way Tomso. I'm in month 4 and I do feel less stressed and more peaceful. Not complacent in any way and always on my guard still but finally feeling how great it really is to be free from hating smoking but still doing it! Wishing you a smooth (well as can be ) ride all the way to the penthouse.

  • Tomso i also hit the sweets. The sour the better! Also happy not to be smoking in the car and what i did do was clean my car and fill the ashtray with mints! Helps to have something to hand especially if you get stuck in traffic! Well done on your progress

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