52 days........almost

I'm now back in the UK after being in Miami for 11 days. An odd time as I was there by myself as my partner's father was seriously ill. I've come back early as he passed away last Wednesday. So we have both lost our fathers four months to the day of each other. Astounding first third of the year. Through all this sadness though, I have remained strong in relation to smoking, and even more resolved not to smoke. The difficult times have still been my weak points, and for me the worst is alcohol related, of which I've had quite a bit over the past few days. But, still no cigarettes. The last time I stopped for any length of time two years ago, I cadged a cigarette from a relative who was here this weekend because of our bereavement. He was still smoking, and I didn't cadge! So that's another psychological hurdle surmounted for me.

I'm into my eighth week of quitting, have reduced the champix to one a day, and I'm into my fourth week of the 5k runner programme, and doing okay. NOPE is still helping enormously. I am missing my father in law a great deal. A good man whom I so respected. And he did know I had quit and was very pleased with that. If for nothing else, I should continue this in commemoration of him.

11 Replies

  • Walkabout I'm so sorry you've had more sadness to deal with. But so proud of you for keeping strong with the Nope, too. And for finding a positive spin - a commemorative quit is kinda what I'm doing too.

    Well done with the running - I've reached week 7 and signed up for a Race For Life in July! Look at us go!


  • So sorry for your loss, but super well done for remaining smoke free. x

  • You have had a horrid time and am sorry for your loss. Keep going, and hope that your commemorative quit gives you strength to win through :) x

  • Thanks folks, much appreciated. The weeks leading up to what I've posted above have been difficult and sad for us all. I haven't posted on here about this until now because I didn't want to detract from the main reason of being on the forum, namely to quit smoking. I'm posting now because I want to reflect a strength that can be found, no matter how difficult emotions we have to face, to not smoke. As I said above, harder for me are still my triggers or habits - this one being alcohol - that takes you closer to the edge of succumbing to smoking. I guess that the alcohol consumption has increased because of the grief; to cushion that. It's funny, I can imagine a potential pathway back towards smoking here, but I won't. And to be honest, beyond my own efforts, it is actually posting here that is holding me in check. So thank you again.

  • Keep it going, you are very strong and a credit to your late father in law. Great aim - the race, good luck.

    A few days ago I had a cancer opperation - stitches out on Friday - apart from the worry was the anxiety surrounding the opp - must say, I did have a few puffs but nothing since.... (champix allows for this)...

    You will beat this...x

  • I have to wish you well with going through cancer, Celestine. I hope you're having a good recovery. Be strong.

  • ......................and I'm going to celebrate my entering the 3 month room by changing to a cheerier image for my profile :)

  • Great idea!

  • Hi Walkabout

    Can't wait for you to join month 3. I too am sorry that you are having a tough year. I hope we can support you to some degree. You are doing amazing on the no smoking front. I feel I understand the difficulties the triggers cause you in your quit as I too get this quite badly in alcohol and stress situations. We know smoking won't change what life throws at us and I am sure the triggers will disappear in time as we shape new habits. I wonder what picture you'll choose 😀 might even add one myself seen as I plan to stay in the room a while x

  • Do it AnnMarie!

  • Yes, add a photo Ann Marie. I might even add one of myself if I can find a decent (and recent) one. I'm sure I'm going to be in the month 3 room as of next Wednesday evening - the 6th May. At the moment I still have the urge to smoke but can immediately turn it round to thinking that if I actually smoked, it would be disgusting, literally and hamming it up, making it physically worse than it actually would be. I'm still a bit stuck in believing it's pleasurable.

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