Day 6!

[nsd_user663_54528]

Hi all,

Made it to day 6 after lots of sighing & talking out loud to myself yesterday....

I get so angry with myself for making such a big deal out of this quit, i know that i don't want to smoke, who does? i also know that if i gave in to my craving i would be so disappointed & it wouldn't be "the feel better factor" that my brain tells me it will be!

With every cigarette i smoked the last few months i felt guilty, i started to get anxiety pangs regarding my health, felt every twinge & imagined the worse, i already have a few problems, which i'm sure smoking hasn't helped over the years. So why would i want to go back to that?

Anyway, with that now in print & actually off my chest, i actually feel ready to get on with my journey

Hope everyone is having a good day

Trudy x

[nsd_user663_59644]

Hya, yes know what you mean, I quit and then relapsed, new quit same day as you. We have lads of emotions, that are hard to adapt to., but hoping they fade soon.

But we can get to that pent house together.:):):)

Well done the first days are so hard

Look forward to reading your posts my lovely :cool:

[nsd_user663_54528]

We just have to take one day at a time & try not to dwell on the quit....easier said than done but no-one said it would be easy!

Onwards & upwards Tracey :D:D

[nsd_user663_54528]

Hi Debbie,

I think it's worse because i live on my own & not at work much right now as not been too good & waiting for more tests before an op...i have so much time on my hands, before i would just get on & do stuff, housework, take dog out etc & stop for my brew & fag break....but along with my fags my motivation seems to have disappeared!

I haven't turned into a recluse or anything lol, i've been out to visit a friend for coffee this morning, but i just don't seem able to get smoking out of my head!!!!:eek:

I'll be fine for a while then WHAM, there it is again.

I had actually forgotten how tough quitting is at times!

I'm actually boring myself now with all this whining lol....going to take the dog out & scream at myself over at the park haha

[nsd_user663_54528]

Long story but i'll try to cut it short.

I lost my dad last May, sudden illness that he didn't recover consciousness from, he died after 17 days, during that time i had bad discomfort in the middle of my chest & sometimes to the right & left (i had a stroke caused by high blood pressure when i was 40) so i thought it was my heart!!!

The Dr diagnosed Acid Reflux (new dr to practise) brought on by stress & prescribed Omeprazole, i was already on meds for my high bp but unfortunately it started to go up further & the discomfort wasn't being eased by the new meds. I took myself off them & bp went down!

I continued to go back & forth to drs trying to get this sorted, my moods were up & down which i put down to grief. My pulse was very tachycardic at times so Bisoprolol was prescribed on top of all my other meds!

Anyway, getting nowhere with this dr i asked to see someone else in the practise that actually new me, i then demanded tests other than blood tests, she sent me to see a Colon specialist who suggested a Cat scan but before i had that i had an ultrasound for a suspected aortic anuerism, no anuerism but something showed up on my kidney! It was identified at the cat scan as a growth on my adrenal gland, which sits on top of the kidney. They dont feel it is Cancer as they are very rare, but it is probably messing with my hormones. I go to hosp on the 8th April to start tests then they can decide when & how to remove it, it will be done at Addenbrooks.

Did i say i would cut it short????lol like you, i can talk for England haha

Sorry to bore you rigid :eek:

Trudy x

[nsd_user663_54528]

Lets hope i can stick with it...i know that smoking wont help the situation but in my smoking head mode it is one less battle i have to go through right now, if that makes sense? just wonder if i'm not trying to deal with too much at once.....or am i trying to justify why i should smoke ha! :)

[nsd_user663_60964]

I think you've answered your own question Fluff. You know really you'll feel horrible if you let yourself have the excuse to smoke. You're doing so well and it won't be long before you're out the other side of the nasty part.

Sorry you're going through the mill. You have had a difficult time haven't you? I will keep everything crossed that they can sort out the problem quickly and easily, and that the rest of the year proves to be full of good things.

[nsd_user663_54528]

Thanks Skid,

Think i just need to give myself a little time to get this head of mine in a better place, actually thought it was, but didn't realise how much my little brain was trying to deal with. Trying to stay focussed & positive about my physical health & attempting to rid myself of a life long addiction at the same time is proving really difficult. I know the two should go hand in hand, it's obvious, so i need to put things into perspective.

Bubble bath will help :):)