Everybody says the first few days of quitting are the worst but i think the last days of being a smoker were far, far, far worse.
Hating yourself for doing it, desperate to stop, feeling weak, guilty and pathetic every time you light a cigarette.
Knowing that each one you light causes you to light the next one and the next one and the next one and that you have no choice in the matter. A plant controls you.
Little chest pains which terrify you but you can't go to the doctors as she'll tell you to quit smoking OR tell you it's heart disease which you know you deserve with the amount you smoke.
Smell of stale smoke on your clothes and in your hair, yellow teeth, grey skin.
No money as the demon takes all spare cash.
The Other Half's worrying looks when you get a coughing fit and you try to reassure him that you're ok but can't as you're gasping for beath.
The fear that you're smoking yourself into a poor quality of life.
No sunshine over 70's cruise for you. Oxygen tank at the side of the chair is your future.
Those looks from people when you're huddled in a doorway in the rain trying to keep that precious cancer stick dry and lit.
The dread of going somewhere new where you know you can't smoke for a few hours. When you should be excited and looking forward to it.
The panic when you suddenly realise you've got 3 smokes left.
Is it tough? Yes smoking is very tough.
I am now free of ALL these worries, dreads and fears and funnily enough I'm not tempted in the least to rejoin the ranks of people addicted to this awful practice.
After only 67 days of not smoking I can honestly say I am free and will never smoke again.
I have no doubts, no fears, no worries because after over 30 years I finally see smoking for what it is. A trick: an illusion that promises you lots but delivers poison, illness and destroys your self esteem.
But that's just my opinion