Back again...

[nsd_user663_5037]

Back on the forum after a long absence, during which I was ashamedly smoking, now finally giving it another go. The whole time I was smoking I was feeling guilty, more than previously, which is good I guess, as I can't seem to enjoy smoking the way I once did.

Part of that guilt comes from my 6 year old son seeing me smoke on one occasion (I was careful to keep my dirty habit a secret from him), looking at me with a sad face and asking me why I'm smoking. So I quit and promised him I won't do it anymore, needless to say he was very happy. Was a selfish move on my side, trying to make it more difficult for myself to accept smoking again. Please help me keep my promise!

Just very annoyed that in the back of my mind I'm still not convinced that I'm done for good, keep imagining some casual smoker scenario, or just on a holiday etc. I know it's stupid, but it's where my mind is at right now. Somehow it's too scary a thought that I'll never do it again. Pathetic.

In a few minutes it'll be 6 days, wish me strength.

[nsd_user663_52101]

Big I know what you mean that your not convinced you will stop because of all the times we failed....and told ourselves that we are just natural smokers and CANT stop like other people.

But there's nothing natural about smoking and we are NO different from any other smoker,if they can quit we can quit,there suffering was no worse than ours is now.

Dig deep,keep saying no and every day will get easier...good luck

Quit 20-1-14

[nsd_user663_5037]

Thanks for the support guys, getting closer to a week!

[nsd_user663_18145]

Back on the forum after a long absence, during which I was ashamedly smoking, now finally giving it another go. The whole time I was smoking I was feeling guilty, more than previously, which is good I guess, as I can't seem to enjoy smoking the way I once did.

Part of that guilt comes from my 6 year old son seeing me smoke on one occasion (I was careful to keep my dirty habit a secret from him), looking at me with a sad face and asking me why I'm smoking. So I quit and promised him I won't do it anymore, needless to say he was very happy. Was a selfish move on my side, trying to make it more difficult for myself to accept smoking again. Please help me keep my promise!

Just very annoyed that in the back of my mind I'm still not convinced that I'm done for good, keep imagining some casual smoker scenario, or just on a holiday etc. I know it's stupid, but it's where my mind is at right now. Somehow it's too scary a thought that I'll never do it again. Pathetic.

In a few minutes it'll be 6 days, wish me strength.

i know that for many it takes something outside of ourselves to finally open our eyes to stopping smoking like i know quite afew that have quit because of health problems that initlally want to stop but then afew days weeks when the reality of that they have to do it for good hits and they are left wishing thinking of a time when they can smoke again

what your feeling is normal so please dont beat yourself up about these thoughts and please dont put yourself down either

none of us is perfect so be kind and gentle with yourself

try not to think too far ahead and just concentrate on one day at a time breaking it down into minutes to start with then hours counting how many minutes and hours you have been quit before you move onto the days it will soon add up

and you will also find more and more reasons to keep your quit but for the time being just keep the pic of your sons face when he saw you smoking in mind to keep you strong and focused

the further along the path you go the stronger you will become and waking up each day and saying i choose not to smoke today will help you to keep that resolve coming on here posting and reading will also help

one thing which is the gem of this place is the fact that all of us here have been where you are and yes some get caught up in the web of lies and start smoking again

but as long as you never stop giving up you will succeed by taking one baby step at a time

oh and joining the best club will help too its called the NOPE club short for Not One Puff Ever

onwards and upwards is the only way to go

[nsd_user663_5037]

Thanks for the encouragement guys, really helps, and yes I've been trying to keep that sad & disappointed image of my son in my head as a constant reminder whenever I'm craving. I still remember very clearly how I was annoyed, that I had to hide my dirty habit, and that he was making a big deal about it the one time he saw me. Amazing that cigarettes wield such power that they can turn you into a crappy selfish parent. So anyway I'm hoping this will all be enough to fend off any sudden cravings, then I just need to accept & believe that it's for good this time.

Really appreciate all the positive comments from everyone, I'm a stranger to all of you and the fact that you take time to help (when you may be struggling yourself) means a lot.

Roll on the 1-week milestone in a couple of hours!